Joke Time!

[nervenllarena]

Love poetry

A poetry contest had come down to two finalists, a Harvard graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a single word, then allowed five minutes to try to come up with a poem that contained the word they were given. This time they were given the word, “Timbuktu.”

The Harvard grad got to go first. This is his poem::

Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan,
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination Timbuktu.

The audience applauded loudly thinking there was no way the redneck would be able to come up with a better poem than the Harvard grad. The redneck scoffed, confidently strolled up to the microphone and said:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went.
Met three hoes in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two.
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

[nervenllarena]

This is dedicated to all the Eng. and Lawyers peace

An engineer dies and ends up at the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his list and says, “Ah, I see you’re an engineer, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong place.”

So, the engineer is sent to the gates of hell and is let in. The engineer quickly became unhappy with the comfort level in hell. He started designing and building several improvements. Before long, they’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets, escalators and other amenities. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the phone and asks sarcastically, “Hey there Satan, how’s it going down there in hell these days?”

Satan responds, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and that’s just a start! There’s no telling what this engineer you sent down here is going to come up with next!”

God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That must have been a mistake! He should never have gotten down there so please send him back.”

Satan says, “No way in hell! I like having an engineer down here, and I plan on keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back right now or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs so hard he can barely reply, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?”

[nervenllarena]

Funny Funny

A man is at the desk in a hotel lobby. As he turns around to leave, he bumps into an attractive woman standing behind him. Unfortunately his elbow hit her square in the breast. The two of them are both pretty startled by the incident. The man turns to the woman and says, “Miss, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I just know you’ll forgive me.” To which the woman replies, “Sir, if your penis is as hard as your elbow, you can find me in room 234.”


A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water.... The barman says " I thought you only drank blood ?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says......... " I'm making tea " !!