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  1. Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    6,931
    #1051
    '*** FROGS'

    Only $20 each!
    Comes with 'complete' instructions.

    The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'
    As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'
    The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

    As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:

    1.. Take a shower.
    2. Splash on some nice perfume.
    3. Slip into a very ***y nightie.
    4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

    She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.'

    So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

    The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:

    'LISTEN TO ME!!
    I'm only going to show you how to do this
    ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!'

  2. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    21,582
    #1052
    ^ Mainit ngayon si bro oliver ah. :bwahaha:

  3. Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    6,931
    #1053
    Matumal e...masyadong maraming time....

  4. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #1054
    si senyora inuutasan si inday para mamalengke...
    senyora: inday, mamalengke ka na. bumili ka ng 1000petot karne ng babaeng baboy at
    1,000petot rin na karne ng lalaking baka.
    inday: eh ma'm! panu kku hu ging alam kung babae u lalaki ging karne eh hiwa- hiwa na hu 'yun?
    senyora: tonta ka talaga! tingnan mo kung ano gagawin nung tindero...
    kapag KEEKEE- lohin niya 'yung karne, siguradong BABAE 'yun!
    kapag TEETEE- mbangin niya 'yung karne, sigurado namang LALAKI 'yun!

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #1055

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    571
    #1056

    noon................ ngayon!

  7. Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    454
    #1057
    Quote Originally Posted by joemarski View Post
    Malamang sikyu ang ang post nyan. hehe

  8. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #1058
    hehehe. kung sikyu daw, 12hours :police:

  9. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #1059

  10. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    456
    #1060
    Isang Pinoy na turista ang nagpunta sa isang Spanish restaurant para maghapunan.

    Pinoy: Ahh waiter, bigyan mo nga ako ng "specialty of the house" nyo. Yung pinakamasarap ha?

    (Ng ilapag na ang pagkain ng waiter.)

    Pinoy: Waiter anong klaseng karne ito?

    Waiter: Ahh Senor, that's our "specialty of the house", ang name po ng dish na yan ay Cojones.

    Pinoy: Anong klase ito?

    Waiter: Iyan po ay betlog ng mga toro na napatay sa laban ngayong araw.

    Pinoy: (tinikman) Masarap ito ah!

    (Kinabukasan bumalik uli ang Pinoy at inorder niya ulit ang dish na kinain kagabi. Nang i-serve na ang pagkain..)

    Pinoy: Medyo mas maliit ang Cojones nyo ngayong gabi at parang mas maalat ito, reklamo ng Pinoy.

    Waiter: "Totoo po Senor, alam nyo po eh hindi laging toro ang natatalo at napapatay sa laban!"

Joke Time!