Telling a Lie to your partner

[_Cathy_]

That guy I went out with also has this habit of organising get togethers with our barkada then everyone ends up cancelling. Buti na lang I always check with our barkada so if it's just the two of us, I'd end up making an excuse as to why I can't go. Pangit naman na 2 lang kami umalis eh may BF ako na tao. Then he'd turn things around and tell me that I always stand him up. I should have listened to my intuition eh. He had malice whenever he'd make me beso. Yung beso niya lips to cheek eh dapat cheek to cheek eh. DI naman ako makareklamo baka sabihin OA ako.

Di ako makareact kasi I don't wanna draw attention upon us. Kahit siguro may black belt ako di rin naman ako maka react pag ni chancing ako Siguro I have to learn how to be more assertive. Buti pa ex ko hindi manyak.

[Lucius]

Eh baka oily skin sya?

[ab_initio]

Eh baka oily skin sya?

hahaha! pagdamot ba naman ang oil niya...ayaw i share!!!!

rofl! nice one Lucius!

[_Cathy_]

There was this instance when he kissed my shoulders. He also had this habit of pinching my cheeks and rubbing my jawline with the the back of his hand when we were classmates. In my mind nga sinisiko ko. Hindi lang ako maka react kaya lumayo na lang ako. Problema iisa barkada namin so inevitable na mag meet kami at least once a year. Kasalanan ko rin siguro kasi I shouldn't have met up with him one on one. DI ko akalain he'd go as far as he did when we met up the last time eh. Kaya talaga bigla ako napaisip na mas mabuti pa ata na may BF ako na jobless than deal with the ^*&^(&(*. of dating.

[XTO]

XTO, bisyo niya mag work out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week at Matulog until lunch time.

puro para porma inaatupag niya eh dapat mag showbiz na lang siya. :surrender: yan ang isang way para bumitiw sa isang relationship = ang gawin ang ayaw ng isa kasi kung seryoso siya sa 'yo at totoong mahal ka hindi siya ganyan. hanap ka na lang ng iba.

[ghosthunter]

I'm just afraid that I won't find a man with as much patience as he did with me.

You are just as stuck in a rut as he is... you are stuck in a certain comfort zone of having "him" available for you to talk to even with all your gripe about him.

It might be true that you might not find a guy with his patience, but maybe that "patience" is at the cost of him having nearly no responsibility for himself.

[ghosthunter]

Insecure ako at iniisip ko ang transaction cost (having to start all over again) of finding a new BF.

We go through such things all the time but sometimes the cost of keeping an old relationship going is too much. I wish I could tell you a story of someone, you might learn something about moving on and not to fear what tomorrow may bring.

[ghosthunter]

I tried just that but I ended up getting traumatized. I met up with my classmate who's been asking me out for the longest time (even before I met my BF) but then he ended up harrassing me which made me hesistant to go back to the dating scene again. I really felt so violated. I don't understand why he did that to me eh I don't have loose morals naman. In fact I never agreed to seeing him and I was ignoring him when I was in a relationship. He went as far as investigating where I live and waiting for me at the lobby after class ( we were no longer in the same school then). So when I broke up with my BF, I figured I might as well give him a chance. He's the first guy disrespected me naman because all the other guys that I dated in college were very kind to me. Bad timing rin kasi just when I broke up with my BF eh this guy harrasses me. Considering that he's old enough to be my Dad eh I was surprised with the way he acted. I still get shivers when I think about what happened. Hirap kasi I do not know how to react to aggressive guys since I always dated guys that are very gentlemanly.

Stalker... not the best option when trying to get over a recently ended relationship.

I strongly suggest someone who you dont personally know. Get a friend to recommend a guy who could take you out for a dinner date for some chit-chat and no expectations.

I am kinda planning something similar when 2009 rolls in. We were just casually introduced by mutual friends at the bank. She lives nearby where my condo is located so at least its not like I am going to drive across the metro to fetch her...

[_Cathy_]

We go through such things all the time but sometimes the cost of keeping an old relationship going is too much. I wish I could tell you a story of someone, you might learn something about moving on and not to fear what tomorrow may bring.

Why don't you tell me the story?

My ex has no idea how much he is hurting me right now. It's so hard that I can't even talk to any of my friends or family about how I am feeling right now. I am just so thankful that I get good advise here in Tsikot.

[_Cathy_]

I strongly suggest someone who you dont personally know. Get a friend to recommend a guy who could take you out for a dinner date for some chit-chat and no expectations....

I don't go out on blind dates because I am really shy and insecure. I am afraid that the guy will get disappointed when he sees me. Plus I am a really paranoid person so it really isn't for me.

[deathlance]

Thanks DL. My ex was also patient with me whenever I have tantrums But I guess it was because he had no choice but to deal with it. Sayang lang kasi ang bait bait pa naman ng family niya sakin. Kaya dun din ako nanghihinayang. Pati mga family outings nila like bohol or davao niyayaya ako kaso di naman ako makasama kasi hindi naman maganda na mag overnight ako kasama ng BF ko eh hindi naman kami kasal saka ayoko din na gastusan nila ako eh katulad niyan nag hiwalay kami. Pero I appreciate his parents gesture of treating me like family. Hirap na makahanap ng ganiyan. Karamihan ng inlaws kontrabida.

ganyan din kami ng gf ko nun.. sobrang close na sha samin... pero when the situation calls for it you have to move on kahit gano ka sakit..

this time it was my decision... its really hard for me.

[ghosthunter]

Why don't you tell me the story?

maybe another time. Best not to reveal too much of oneself to the public. Even when you are hiding behind an online "handle" or alias, people can still glean a lot from what you innocently post in blogs, forums and the like. For sake of personal privacy, best to share more sensitive stuff other ways.

My ex has no idea how much he is hurting me right now. It's so hard that I can't even talk to any of my friends or family about how I am feeling right now. I am just so thankful that I get good advise here in Tsikot.

Why not talk to your friends about what you are feeling? They know you better and would be in a better position to help you than just us anonymous names on a forum.

[ghosthunter]

I don't go out on blind dates because I am really shy and insecure. I am afraid that the guy will get disappointed when he sees me. Plus I am a really paranoid person so it really isn't for me.

How about someone who you already "met" online? ... Would you consider going out with him? At least its not a blind date in the traditional sense...

As for paranoia, you might not beat some of the guys I know.

[uls]

Cathy, what if may tsikoteer nag-PM sayo, asking if you wanna meet up...

will you meet up with him?

hehe

[ghosthunter]

Cathy, what if may tsikoteer nag-PM sayo, asking if you wanna meet up...

will you meet up with him?

hehe

Oist! May masamang binabalak ito! :rose: :evillaugh

[uls]

hahaha

GH, it's your idea

How about someone who you already "met" online? ... Would you consider going out with him? At least its not a blind date in the traditional sense...

[ghosthunter]

hahaha

GH, it's your idea

at least mine is not as direct as your's ... I might expect you sending a PM in the same minute Cathy would post "yes".

[uls]

haha

hinde no?

but would you believe me?

hmmm...

ganito nalang,

Cathy, if meron tsikoteer nag PM sayo asking you to meet up, pls post it here sa public forum ok?

hehehe

[_Cathy_]

Why not talk to your friends about what you are feeling? They know you better and would be in a better position to help you than just us anonymous names on a forum.

I don't want them pity me and I really don't want to inadvertently badmouth my ex to my friends and family.

[_Cathy_]

How about someone who you already "met" online? ... Would you consider going out with him? At least its not a blind date in the traditional sense...

As for paranoia, you might not beat some of the guys I know.

Probably. The farthest I've gone was to talk on the phone but I haven't met anyone personally yet kasi nga I'm paranoid and insecure and besides I am not at all attractive. I don't wanna end up disappointing people.