Telling a Lie to your partner

[chua_riwap]

cathy, I re-read this thread and sa start yun "friend" mo ang sabi mo meron problema about her jobless Bf, now ikaw na yun girl sa story mo?

He-he! Oo nga ano.......

[ab_initio]

in every break up, no party should take the blame and the guilt. if you do, moving on could be difficult. free yourself from the guilt...tama o mali, wala ka dapat pagsisihan.

i believe wala ka namang mali e...only that you fell for the "not so right guy".

mahanap ka rin niya...time...patience. love comes at a time when you least expect it...this explains why you'll be swept off your feet when love comes...

it's always nice to stay in love...not necessarily with a specific person but to fall in love everyday with LIFE.

[Psylocke]

Psylocke, I've been trying for 4 years. I even asked the help of my friends to endorse his resume so he'd have a backer but then multinational/established companies wouldn't hire him despite of his good educational background because of his more than 10 year work gap.

I don't know what kind of motivation he needs pa because I even told him that I don't care if his salary is minimum wage as long as he has a job. I don't even mind shouldering most of the expenses when we get married as long as he has a job. Mahirap sakin yun because I was always used to my family and exs taking care of me but for him it's the other way around. I also know that hurts my parents because they always tell me that the reason why they work is so that I could live a comfortable life tapos I'd end up with a guy na ako pa magpapakain.

I compromised on a lot of things just as so our relationship could work out. Sa 4 years naman never ako sinundo niyan sa school. Never gave me not even one sampauita flower. Pag nasisira kotse ko dito ako sa Tsikot tumatakbo. Pag may sakit ako di naman dumadalaw. Parati kasi walang panggas. Alam naman niya na malayo family ko at wala ako iba maasahan. Ang hiling ko lang magkatrabajo siya pero wala naman siya ginagawa. Siguro nga he never loved me?

XTO, bisyo niya mag work out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week at Matulog until lunch time.

that really $ucks... i guess he's in too deep already. you'll need a force stronger than you to get him out...

anyway if you've done absolutely all that you could then you shouldn't feel guilty about it. it's time to move on. i'm absolutely sure you'll find someone out there...

[uls]

Sa 4 years naman never ako sinundo niyan sa school. Never gave me not even one sampauita flower. Pag nasisira kotse ko dito ako sa Tsikot tumatakbo. Pag may sakit ako di naman dumadalaw. Parati kasi walang panggas. Alam naman niya na malayo family ko at wala ako iba maasahan.

ano uli ang gusto mo sa kanya?

o nga pala... he listens to you talk about your day

[_Cathy_]

It's hard to find a guy that actually listens huh I like his taste in music and literature. He prioritises his family, although I always end up getting bumped off kasi nga sila priority niya. He can deal with my tantrums. Hindi manyak.

You know ULS, every time I'd remember what you said about the daily diary thing, it just breaks my heart. Mapapanis na nga ko dito sa bahay ng walang kausap. I don't wanna talk about our break up with my friends naman. Sanay kasi ako na tulog lang talaga kami hindi magkausap or pag nagwo work out siya.

[ab_initio]

XTO, bisyo niya mag work out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week at Matulog until lunch time.

tsk. pag naging asawa mo to...kaw ang breadwinner, you'll get home exhausted, tapos siya ok na ok...ikaw alang energy na for bedtime stories. pano yan?

hirap e...parang nag asawa ka ng taga UK...hirap i manage ang time zone. tsk! tulog siya kung kelan gising na lahat...

[uls]

well, Cathy

he HAD to listen to you

he better

if he didnt listen to you, then ano pa silbi nya?

wala na sya ibang ginawa e

[_Cathy_]

Yeah. Wala naman siya ibang gagawin after gumising, kumain at work out. He used to help me out with my assignments when I was taking my MBA but when I started working parang I started to resent the fact that I'd go home tired and he was just taking his sweet time reading and working out at home. Nahirapan kasi ako mag adjust to working again kaya nung first few days ko I'd go home crying. Nainis lang ako na nagkakilala kami jobless siya, Nag aral ako jobless siya, gumraduate ako, jobless siya, may trabajo na ko jobless pa rin siya.

I am just wondering why this time he didn't try to patch things up between us.

[Psylocke]

i still believe the guy just needs a wake up call... probably a nuclear bomb wake up call...

[uls]

I am just wondering why this time he didn't try to patch things up between us.

Pride.

like you said, ma-pride sya

he probably thought you would call him a few days after you broke up with him

he's not patching things up with you to make you think you did the wrong thing

and after a few days, you will think you did the wrong thing and would think of calling him

and that's what's happening diba?

you are tempted to call him...

--

and also, you broke up with him

if he called you, that would put him in an i-need-you-i-can't-live-without-you position

he doesnt want to be in that position

[_Cathy_]

Yup. But before I would always break up with him and he would always patch things up. This time he did not call. I am a bit worried because he might be sick or something terrible happened.

[ab_initio]

^^ reality check lang...baka may iba na. painful but that realization might help you force yourself to forget him?

[_Cathy_]

Imposible siya magkaron ng iba kc almost 24 hours kami magkausap eh. Saka walang pera yun pang babae.

[ghosthunter]

So I should just let him go without closure?

would closure solve anything between you two and his problem?

Nagaalala lang talaga ako sa kanya, kung hindi siya magbabago kawawa siya at ang parents niya.

its not something you can solve, If he doesn't to change, that is pretty much it. You can only point him the way, the rest is up to him.

Honestly I am also lazy. But I will go stir crazy if I dont have a job to do. I guess it is the way I was brought up. Your exbf, on the other hand, had it differently.

[deathlance]

miss cathy hello po. maybe this time ako naman ang mag provide ng help and insight, give and receive lang, ongoing panaman ung thread ko sa kabila and i saw this.

question ko lang, miss cathy ikaw ba ung girl na toh?

this is just my perspective of things ha..

Yup. But before I would always break up with him and he would always patch things up. This time he did not call. I am a bit worried because he might be sick or something terrible happened.

ok heres what i think about whats happening, focus po miss cathy, 3 things lang po yan... 1 its either hes moving on and hes teaching his heart to forget what ever his reasons are, 2 nag mamatigas sha umaasang babalik ka pag naramdaman mong parang baliwala ka na sa kanya. 3 something happened to him, he tried to hurt himself or he already did. pero i doubt the latter.

kasi kung ako yan saktan ko man sarili ko kung mahal kita kahit anung galit ko or whatsoever kakausapin kita to get you back. Cmon mahal mo nga eh... unless he really loves you that he realizes to back off so that you can move on and not be with someone who doesnt want to get a job. But i think it aint a noble thing to do.

noble is to drown your pride and look for work para sa girl mo and plan to build and prepare for your and his future family.

question is, if something did happen to him what will you do? babalikan mo ba? would that be a solution?

eh mag move on ka na kaya? dami pa po dyan, kung sobrang ok ka sa personality and looks dami makakakita sayu. ako im looking, kidding!

so my suggestion is kung worried ka tlga, ask his relatives kung ok lang sha, pag ok naman at walang nangyari sa kanya,please do move on, ikaw ang kawawa dyan pag yan naging asawa mo. oo mahal mo sha, pero does he love you as much as you love him at the very least. Kasi kung ako nga yan or ibang guys dyan, we'll do almost anything for the girl, inlove eh...

and him not calling for 2 weeks pero wala naman nangyari sa kanya only means, he doesnt wanna call anymore, di naman ata maganda ikaw ang kakausap sa kanya ng bakit di mo na ako tinawagan 2 weeks n ah, weird diba, ikaw nakipag break eh, trust me dami pa po dyan mas deserving para sayu..

just my 2 cents..

[ghosthunter]

Yes I broke up with him but I am starting to doubt if I did the right thing.

in life, rarely does it have right or wrong choices... only consequences of our actions.

I might not be able to find a guy who listens to me as much as he does. His only flaw is that he doesn't want to work.

If that "flaw" bothers you so much, then it's time to leave your comfort zone and start looking for a better man.

[ghosthunter]

Imposible siya magkaron ng iba kc almost 24 hours kami magkausap eh. Saka walang pera yun pang babae.

Lack of money never stopped a guy before from "straying from the path".

[_Cathy_]

I'm just afraid that I won't find a man with as much patience as he did with me.

DL, I was also thinking the same. Maybe he loves his lifestyle more than he loves me that is why instead of finding a job, he just let me go instead so he could go about his old ways.

And it also hurts that he didn't even call to greet me a Merry Christmas. Ano ba naman yun? I guess I wasn't too hurt the first few days that he wasn't calling me because I was expecting that he'd call on Christmas day kaya lang wala eh.

Nadagdag pa that someone harrassed me last night, parang I lost my faith on other guys. Natakot na ko bumalik sa dating scene.

[ab_initio]

Lack of money never stopped a guy before from "straying from the path".

+1 he'll be able to hook up with one if there's a chance...

[ab_initio]

And it also hurts that he didn't even call to greet me a Merry Christmas. Ano ba naman yun? I guess I wasn't too hurt the first few days that he wasn't calling me because I was expecting that he'd call on Christmas day kaya lang wala eh.

Nadagdag pa that someone harrassed me last night, parang I lost my faith on other guys. Natakot na ko bumalik sa dating scene.

you have given him too much...love is best felt when it's reciprocated...you always do the giving...he should have done his part.