Telling a Lie to your partner

[ab_initio]

He's an educated man in his mid-30's with no work experience. He refuses to work for a call center or any job that is clerical in nature. I cannot think of a company who would hire a man in his mid 30s for an entry level job unless he has a backer. He doesn't want to ask help from his friends and family because he has too much pride. But then again, where's the pride in being jobless?

So should I just let him go? I don't wanna call him up since I broke up with him. I never realised that losing my daily diary would be excruciating.

(sana kung noon to) you should have enrolled him in law school. pag abogado kasi, mas matanda mas credible...wehehehe...joke!!!

[_Cathy_]

diba you already broke up with him?

Yes I broke up with him but I am starting to doubt if I did the right thing.

I might not be able to find a guy who listens to me as much as he does. His only flaw is that he doesn't want to work.

[_Cathy_]

go back to the dating tracks...IMO

In almost 4 years that we've been together, I've grown older, fatter and uglier so I know that going back to the dating scene would be extremely hard for me. ANyway, I could always take care of my parents naman if I don't get ton have my own family. hehe.

[_Cathy_]

mahirap siyang i defend sa circle mo kung sakali...siyempre mga kamag anak mo magtatanong...what a big blow to his ego...tis gonna eat him,,,

You got me shadow.

ab_initio, parang immune na siya sa ganun kasi I told him that my family doesn't like him because is his jobless. Sagot niya "I don't blame them"

[Lucius]

You got me shadow.

ab_initio, parang immune na siya sa ganun kasi I told him that my family doesn't like him because is his jobless. Sagot niya "I don't blame them"

If ever you get back together, in the end it will not be your family that will be living with him.

[Lucius]

Yes I broke up with him but I am starting to doubt if I did the right thing.

I might not be able to find a guy who listens to me as much as he does. His only flaw is that he doesn't want to work.

Go tell him again to work if you're already married. He really got tired out of your constant pushing

[ab_initio]

You got me shadow.

ab_initio, parang immune na siya sa ganun kasi I told him that my family doesn't like him because is his jobless. Sagot niya "I don't blame them"

mahirap nga ipasok yan sa family, sobrang resistant. he's gonna alienate you from your family...best effort lang sana...tayo siya ng business, kahit sari sari store muna...manager siya diyan...

e kung gusto niya matulog palagi, he'll have more time to sleep forever pag dead na siya...(wehehehe...i'm just trying to make things light).

hirap kasi kapag alang trabaho ang guy, tapos tulog pa ng tulog...pag asawa mo na yan, hahatakin ka pababa...you'll forget what personality development is all about. if you wanna stay brilliant, go for the more brilliant ones and embark on activities na mag improve kayo...e pano siya makakagawa ng extra time for development kung tulog king siya...

[uls]

Yes I broke up with him but I am starting to doubt if I did the right thing.

I might not be able to find a guy who listens to me as much as he does. His only flaw is that he doesn't want to work.

let's say you did the wrong thing and you went back to him and he takes you back...

ano na?

wala ka na pride

you just showed him you cannot live without him

you can't nag him anymore about being a bum

he'll just tell you to leave if u can't accept it... but he knows you can't

for a guy, that's the best position to be in

"I OWN THE GIRL"

[ab_initio]

In almost 4 years that we've been together, I've grown older, fatter and uglier so I know that going back to the dating scene would be extremely hard for me. ANyway, I could always take care of my parents naman if I don't get ton have my own family. hehe.

spread your wings...revitalize your market...get out from your comfort zone. stay happy. love yourself as much as you can. di sa hitsura yan...disposition. IMO

polish your best asset some more... with the values you're still holding on up to this time, i believe you're the kind of girl too good not to be noticed. makakahanap ka din ng katapat...

patience. time.

[_Cathy_]

Go tell him again to work if you're already married. He really got tired out of your constant pushing

so it's my fault that I wanted him to get a job? I never pushed/pressured/nagged him to find a job kaya nga umabot ng 4 na taon eh. I am starting to think that it will never come (his getting a job) kaya I broke up with him.

[uls]

ang tamad

tamad

[_Cathy_]

let's say you did the wrong thing and you went back to him and he takes you back...

ano na?

wala ka na pride

you just showed him you cannot live without him

you can't nag him anymore about being a bum

he'll just tell you to leave if u can't accept it... but he knows you can't

for a guy, that's the best position to be in

"I OWN THE GIRL"

Thank you for putting things into perspective. I need to hear more from you.

ULS, what do you think about guys like my ex? DO they change or are they just waiting for women that will "rescue" them?

[_Cathy_]

polish your best asset some more... with the values you're still holding on up to this time, i believe you're the kind of girl too good not to be noticed. makakahanap ka din ng katapat...

patience. time.

Gosh ab_initio,Thank you so much for the kind words. You almost made me cry. If there's one thing that I am not willing to compromise it's my values. Buti na lang wala siyang nakuha sakin. Di ko nga alam why I always end up with the wrong guys. Yesterday nga I got harrassed but that's a different story altogether. Kaya tuloy napaisip ako if I made the right decision to break up with my bf. At least siya hindi manyak.

[Lucius]

so it's my fault that I wanted him to get a job? I never pushed/pressured/nagged him to find a job kaya nga umabot ng 4 na taon eh. I am starting to think that it will never come (his getting a job) kaya I broke up with him.

It's not how kept you telling him that, for a guy like him with so much pride tapos sinasabihan pa ng girlfriend that guy can only think of so many things on his head.

You could've been telling your ex the nice way pero the constant reminder -- well alam mo naman ang pride kahit nasa tama ka maiinis at maiinis ang sinasabihan mo. And take this from me -- I've seen enough of my friends' conversations. I act as their referee just in case things get out of hand

[Lucius]

Gosh ab_initio,Thank you so much for the kind words. You almost made me cry. If there's one thing that I am not willing to compromise it's my values. Buti na lang wala siyang nakuha sakin. Di ko nga alam why I always end up with the wrong guys. Yesterday nga I got harrassed but that's a different story altogether. Kaya tuloy napaisip ako if I made the right decision to break up with my bf. At least siya hindi manyak.

On a diffrent note, I told the girlfriend to just move on and go find a guy that she will accept. Hope she does 'cause I know di na sila magbabalikan.

My friend will never change, maybe someday but on his own terms. Think the same with your tamad ex

[Psylocke]

cathy, your bf just got stuck in a rut. you just need to get him out. he's become complacent and too comfy in his comfort zone. he's just afraid that he's lost his chops to perform/work in the real world now and that he wouldn't fit in with his advanced age.

basically it's self-doubt so you need to boost this. maybe some refresher courses and some mental exercises. make him feel confident.

then finally you'd have to whack him to jumpstart him on the new job. all his conditions and BS are just excuses coz he's afraid, but when he realizes that his new job ain't so bad then you've done it. but you have to do this all for him. set up everything.

[uls]

lagi ko naririnig sa girls "baka magbago sya"

"baka magbago sya pag kasal na kami"

ya right

--

do guys need rescuing?

in the first place, if a guy needs rescuing, doesnt his character come into question?

[XTO]

cathy, I re-read this thread and sa start yun "friend" mo ang sabi mo meron problema about her jobless Bf, now ikaw na yun girl sa story mo?

ngayon ko lang inumpisahan tong nobela na to eh and sinasabi ko na't naunahan ako ni shadow eh.... btw cathy, i have one question if you wouldn't mind answering. meron ba siyang bisyo? like what?

[_Cathy_]

Psylocke, I've been trying for 4 years. I even asked the help of my friends to endorse his resume so he'd have a backer but then multinational/established companies wouldn't hire him despite of his good educational background because of his more than 10 year work gap.

I don't know what kind of motivation he needs pa because I even told him that I don't care if his salary is minimum wage as long as he has a job. I don't even mind shouldering most of the expenses when we get married as long as he has a job. Mahirap sakin yun because I was always used to my family and exs taking care of me but for him it's the other way around. I also know that hurts my parents because they always tell me that the reason why they work is so that I could live a comfortable life tapos I'd end up with a guy na ako pa magpapakain.

I compromised on a lot of things just as so our relationship could work out. Sa 4 years naman never ako sinundo niyan sa school. Never gave me not even one sampauita flower. Pag nasisira kotse ko dito ako sa Tsikot tumatakbo. Pag may sakit ako di naman dumadalaw. Parati kasi walang panggas. Alam naman niya na malayo family ko at wala ako iba maasahan. Ang hiling ko lang magkatrabajo siya pero wala naman siya ginagawa. Siguro nga he never loved me?

XTO, bisyo niya mag work out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week at Matulog until lunch time.

[Lucius]

Very interesting, you and the ex of my barkada - parehong pareho even the situation the you're in

My barkada works out everyday, takes a pass on sundays. Usually an hour to 2. Plays basketball every other day however he doesn't have a problem with money but the ex insists that he gets a career out of working ALTHOUGH he has already started his small business -- this was his own initiative hindi dahil sa sinasabihan sya.