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  1. Gumusut_Amige's Avatar
    Gumusut_Amige
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    March 17th, 2012 09:08 PM #401
    ^^^

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  2. EE100shiro's Avatar
    EE100shiro
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    March 17th, 2012 09:58 PM #402
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  3. shadow's Avatar
    shadow
    shadow is offline Darker and Bigger
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    March 17th, 2012 10:05 PM #403
    I was about to make a gay joke, butt f*ck it!!!
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  4. Retz's Avatar
    Retz
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    March 17th, 2012 10:21 PM #404
    Quote Originally Posted by EE100shiro View Post




    Idol talaga si Lito Lapid.
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  5. Retz's Avatar
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    March 17th, 2012 10:50 PM #405
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  6. EE100shiro's Avatar
    EE100shiro
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    March 18th, 2012 06:05 PM #406
    Quote Originally Posted by Retz View Post
    ..pati yung nunal sakto a.
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  7. galant E SS's Avatar
    galant E SS
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    March 18th, 2012 09:25 PM #407
    ANG STORYA NG KANDILA:

    WIFE: Delayed na ko ng 1 month sa menstration. pero hwag mong sabihin kahit kanino, nahihiya ako.

    HUSBAND: Ok.

    (NEXT DAY, MAY DUMATING NA TAGA-MERALCO)

    MERALCO: Mam, delayed po kayo ng 1 month.

    WIFE: Pano mo nalaman?

    MERALCO: Nasa record po.

    HUSBAND: Aba! Bakit nakarecord dyan na delayed ang mrs. ko?!!! ???

    MERALCO: Kung gusto nyo po na mawala sa record, magbayad po kayo.

    HUSBAND: Eh, pano kung ayokong magbayad? >

    MERALCO: Eh, di, pupotolan kayo. . . 8-)

    HUSBAND: > TarantaXX ka pala eh! Anong gagamitin ni mrs.? >

    MERALCO: Pwede naman po syang gumamit ng KANDILA. :
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  8. galant E SS's Avatar
    galant E SS
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    March 18th, 2012 09:26 PM #408
    Acohol does not solve problem...

    nietheir does milk. . .

    pero, buti pa ang alak, libre kung minsan. . . may nagpapainom ng libre. . .

    Eh, ang milk? Meron na bang nag-treat ng milk?
    At nagsabing . . . tara tol, DEDE tayo. . .
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  9. galant E SS's Avatar
    galant E SS
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    March 18th, 2012 09:34 PM #409
    Bride from honeymoon was crying.

    friend: why are you crying?

    bride: ang ari ng asawa ko, sinlaki ng bote.

    Friend: Bonga, masarap yan!

    bride: anong masarap? sinlaki ng bote ng whiteflower.
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  10. galant E SS's Avatar
    galant E SS
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    March 18th, 2012 09:37 PM #410
    GROOM: Bakit ka malungkot? Hindi ka ba masaya na pinakasalan kita maski G.R.O. ka?

    BRIDE: Iniisip ko kasi, tuwing magtatalik tayo, hindi mo na ako babayaran, sayang din kasi.
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  11. galant E SS's Avatar
    galant E SS
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    March 18th, 2012 09:37 PM #411
    NUN: Mother, I was raped. What shall I do?

    MOTHER SUPERIOR: Here, take this calamansi.

    NUN: Will this ease the pain?

    MOTHER SUPERIOR: Sipsipin mo! nang mawala yang ngiti sa mukha mo! G***!
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  12. galant E SS's Avatar
    galant E SS
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    March 18th, 2012 09:39 PM #412
    3 brothers named Bu, Chu and Fu migrated to USA from China.
    They decided to change their name :
    Bu became Buck
    Chu became Chuck.

    Fu decided to go back to China.
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  13. mact_tors
    mact_tors is offline Verified Tsikot Member
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    March 19th, 2012 12:54 PM #413
    uuuyyyy! nag joke na sya! di ka na galet, pards?
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  14. Bin Diesel's Avatar
    Bin Diesel
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    March 19th, 2012 02:05 PM #414
    Quote Originally Posted by mact_tors View Post
    uuuyyyy! nag joke na sya! di ka na galet, pards?
    Bakit galit ba si galant E SS?
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  15. chua_riwap's Avatar
    chua_riwap
    chua_riwap is offline Tsikot Member Rank 5
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    March 19th, 2012 03:59 PM #415
    Quote Originally Posted by mact_tors View Post
    uuuyyyy! nag joke na sya! di ka na galet, pards?
    natawa ako dun kay Fu.......

    alam mo si galant, galit lang yan sa mga kopal.
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  16. Bin Diesel's Avatar
    Bin Diesel
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    March 19th, 2012 04:13 PM #416
    Quote Originally Posted by chua_riwap View Post
    natawa ako dun kay Fu.......

    alam mo si galant, galit lang yan sa mga kopal.
    walang kopal kopal kapag joke time.
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  17. renzo_d10's Avatar
    renzo_d10
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    March 19th, 2012 09:14 PM #417
    01) Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
    02) Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
    03) Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
    04) Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
    05) Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
    06) Devastation - sakayan ng bus
    07) Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
    08) Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
    09) Tissue - Ikaw nga!
    10) Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
    11) Dedicate - Pinatay ang pusa
    12) Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
    13) Deduct - Ang pato
    14) Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
    15) Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
    16) Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
    17) City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
    18) Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
    19) Persuading - Unang Kasal
    20) Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
    22) Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
    23) It Depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
    24) Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
    25) Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)
    26) Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang tanghalian
    27) Profit - Patunayan mo
    28) Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet
    29) Backlog - bacon saka egg
    30) Beehive - magpakatino ka
    31) CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
    32) Debug - ang ipis
    33) Defrag - ang palaka
    34) Defense - ang bakod
    35) Defer - ang balahibo
    36) Deflate - ang plato
    37) Detest - ang eksamin
    38) Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
    39) Devote - ang boto
    40) Dilemma - brownout!, a!
    41) Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
    42) Forums - apat na kwarto
    43) July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
    44) Liturgy - what comes after litur F

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  18. chua_riwap's Avatar
    chua_riwap
    chua_riwap is offline Tsikot Member Rank 5
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    March 19th, 2012 09:28 PM #418
    balance sheet.......WTF!
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  19. galant E SS's Avatar
    galant E SS
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    March 20th, 2012 12:55 AM #419
    In a court hearing, the victim testified:

    GIRL: Judge, ni-rape po ako don sa library.

    JUDGE: Aba, parang di naman ata kapani-paniwala iha. . . Ang daming tao sa library, di ka man lang sumigaw?

    GIRL: Heller! may nakasulat po kaya, "SILENCE PLEASE" . . .
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  20. galant E SS's Avatar
    galant E SS
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    March 20th, 2012 12:56 AM #420
    JUDGE: Ikaw ay inaakusahang may dalawang asawa. Alam mo ba ang parusa sa bigamy?

    LALAKI: Opo. dalawang byenan po. Nagsisi na po ako.
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