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  1. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,346
    #211
    I got this from my inbox......



    Subject: A true story from the Japanese Embassy



    English is a difficult language for some.
    This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in the US!!!

    A few days ago, Japanese PM Mori was given a Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington & meet Pres. Barack Obama. The instructor told Mori, when you shake hand w/ Pres. Obama, please say "How are you?"
    Then Mr. Obama should say...."I'm fine! And you?"
    Now you should say "Me too...."

    When Mori met Obama he mistakenly said "Who are you?" (instead of "How are you?)

    Mr. Obama was a bit shocked, but still manged to react with humor.

    "Well....I'm Michelle Obama's husband....ha-ha!"
    Then Mori replied "Me too!"

    There was a long silence in the meeting room.


  2. Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    451
    #212
    Lol. Keep 'em coming. :D

  3. Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    133
    #213


    Towenk!

  4. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,346
    #214
    ^ ha-ha! buking!

    remember: never share your FB password to your mom.......

  5. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    19,452
    #215
    Or don't ever forget to logout.

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    76
    #216
    may isang pobreng kumakain na ang ulam ay tuyo.
    nang maramdaman niyang may kumagat na langgam sa kaniyang itlog.
    ang sabi ng pobre: "sosyal ka'ng langgam ka, paitlog-itlog ka pa, ako nga, tuyo lang!"

  7. Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,012
    #217

  8. Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,012
    #218

  9. Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    316
    #219

    THE PASTOR'S *SS

    The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so
    pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won
    again.

    The local paper read: PASTOR'S ass OUT FRONT

    The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
    pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

    The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ass.

    This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the
    donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

    The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next
    day: NUN HAS BEST ass IN TOWN.

    The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of
    the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

    The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ass FOR $10

    This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the
    donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

    The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ass IS WILD AND FREE

    The bishop was buried the next day.

  10. Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    240
    #220
    (forwarded...)

    Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces
    himself to open his eyes, and the first things he sees are a couple of
    aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

    And, next to them, a single red rose!

    Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
    Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

    He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table:

    "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"

    Jack stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

    "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

    "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

    His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

    Broken furniture - $85.26
    Hot Breakfast - $4.20
    Red Rose bud -$3.00
    Two Aspirins -$.38
    Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless.

Joke Time!