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  1. Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    93
    #11
    my piece:

    LEB, given the situation u described in ur 2nd post, eventually he must do what he thinks will give him the most peace of mind. evaluating the given situation, i think the pros of keeping it together outnumber the cons.

    imo, living with one's parents won't deter a man's maturity for the simple reason that maturity is a state of mind regardless of the number/kinds of environment that one has experienced. yes he will be deprived of the experience of living alone but that deprivation is only temporary. why don't he treat it as an opportunity to be with his parents for as long as he could. if he's already married, maybe things will be weighed differently.

    unless the family share a single room during bedtime, what privacy will be compromised?if one's up to something very very naughty, there are lots of convenient places out there!!may view pa!!

  2. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    22,658
    #12
    he feels he cannot mature as a man when he still is with his parents
    It's an ego problem. I doubt if living alone will solve this. The problem is not with his place of residence but it is within him. No one can resolve these personal issues except himself.

    If he really wants, he could try a halfway solution. My cousin has two condos already yet umuuwi pa din siya sa kanila 2-3x/wk. The units are investments sa part niya and at least may nauuwian near work or kung ginabi sa gimik, etc.

    http://docotep.multiply.com/
    Need an Ambulance? We sell Zic Brand Oils and Lubricants. Please PM me.

  3. Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    8,837
    #13
    libre kuryente, telepono, linis ng tsikot daily, taga-linis ng banyo, home meal, labandera, mineral water, coding car

    san ka pa? hahaha

  4. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,347
    #14
    Quote Originally Posted by OTEP View Post
    It's an ego problem. I doubt if living alone will solve this. The problem is not with his place of residence but it is within him. No one can resolve these personal issues except himself.
    That would make sense if his parents don't have an undue influence on him living with them. But were talking Pinoy parents here. You know they will exert their influence on him.

    Hopefully his parents wouldn't be like mine....rather wouldn't be like my mom. She's the "donya" type so much stereotyped in Pinoy tearfests. If I stayed with my mom at her house, I'd be subject to her rules, her whims. Granted, I'd be very well off financially. But, I'd never be able to make a decision on my own. For myself, I value my individuality as a person far more than money. If he's fine with that, then he should stay with his folks.
    Last edited by Jun aka Pekto; July 14th, 2007 at 03:55 PM.

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,384
    #15
    LEB, friend mo ba, or ikaw yan? He-he!

    Libre lahat? Wow, sarap buhay. Wala pa naman asawa, di sa parents muna. Share na lang sa gastos, kahit na sinasagot ng magulang yung mga expenses.

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    22,658
    #16
    That would make sense if his parents don't have an undue influence on him living with them. But were talking Pinoy parents here. You know they will exert their influence on him.
    It's his folks home, therefore he should live by their house rules, NOT their LIFE rules. Should the time ever come that the folks will be the one to live with him then the folks will be the ones to go by his house rules.

    Of course there are different prototypes as to what we consider as a 'normal' family. In the prototype I grew up in, kids usually left home when they marry. If the kids are single but working already, they are still free to stay at home but are free to live life as they choose (of course, a piece of advice or two from the older, wiser ones is welcome from time to time). If the kids marry then that's considered a forced eviction already from where I come from.

    My commander's clan has a different prototype. No one seems to leave home. The grandmother bought houses for her kids. Now that the grandkids are married, a lot of them are still living with their folks in the houses grandma bought. In one house lives grandma's kid, his wife and all of his kids (including the persons they married). Seems like a messy set up to me and I guess that's why we have forced evictions in my clan to avert that from happenning.

    http://docotep.multiply.com/
    Need an Ambulance? We sell Zic Brand Oils and Lubricants. Please PM me.

  7. Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    1,815
    #17
    parang ang maturity depende na sa tao yon either when he lives with his parents or not.madami tao na at an early age matured na pag iisip meron din namang immature pa though me edad na.pero opinion ko dyan i will stay with my parents lalo na single pa sya.minsan kalang magkaron ng magulang.

  8. Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    699
    #18
    my very simple and honest opinion:

    you can't be a king in somebody else's castle.

    especially kung lalaki ka, as soon as you can, get off your sorry *ss and learn to live on your own. if you miss your parents, visit them weekly, twice a week or every night if you have to, but you ought to learn to stand on your own two feet. you should know how to depend on your own means.

  9. Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    39,162
    #19
    Cast your own shadow!

    3202:rainbow:

  10. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,347
    #20
    Quote Originally Posted by OTEP View Post
    It's his folks home, therefore he should live by their house rules, NOT their LIFE rules. Should the time ever come that the folks will be the one to live with him then the folks will be the ones to go by his house rules.

    Of course there are different prototypes as to what we consider as a 'normal' family. In the prototype I grew up in, kids usually left home when they marry. If the kids are single but working already, they are still free to stay at home but are free to live life as they choose (of course, a piece of advice or two from the older, wiser ones is welcome from time to time). If the kids marry then that's considered a forced eviction already from where I come from.

    My commander's clan has a different prototype. No one seems to leave home. The grandmother bought houses for her kids. Now that the grandkids are married, a lot of them are still living with their folks in the houses grandma bought. In one house lives grandma's kid, his wife and all of his kids (including the persons they married). Seems like a messy set up to me and I guess that's why we have forced evictions in my clan to avert that from happenning.
    In a perfect world, parents will treat their kids as adults when they reach aduthood. But, I've seen more than one adult living with their parents who were treated like they were still a kid.

    Well, that's not really the parents' fault. Parents are parents. In their eyes, their kids will always be their kids and will always do what they think is right for their kids.

    In my case, I have a mom who wanted to control aspects of my life. An example is who I should have married. If it was up to her, she would've arranged me to marry someone (a rich friend's daughter) I've never met.

    Sure. If I didn't have any balls and still lived with her, I would've done what she wished and we'd all be one happy family. But then, you'd probably see me here writing about whether I really loved this girl or not because it was a forced marriage.

    The only way to really stand on your own is to move out and face the hardships of life. Moving out does not mean not seeing your parents again. I'm not sure where people got that idea.

    What it signifies is a new stage in a parent's relationship with their kids. The parents will have to acknowledge their kids as an equal and until that happens, that thirty-something guy's not really an adult.

    I mean, I've been there. When I was still single, I always enjoyed coming home to Nevada because I never have to cook, never have to do my own laundry, can come and go as I please. But in the end, I still preferred living on my own.

    Even my wife seems to think it's better to be away from the parents. We have my mother-in-law living with us. Whenever my wife and I argue, her mom always backs me up which ticks my wife off.

    Add: An example of undue influence...... The fact that the guy's parents will deprive him of his comforts if he moves out is an indication they may be similar in attitude to my mom. All the more for the guy to be independent. Good parents will always be ready to aid their kids even if they moved out.
    Last edited by Jun aka Pekto; July 14th, 2007 at 09:32 PM.

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Live alone or live with parents?