Live alone or live with parents?

[smooth]

with a cayenne and another P5M vehicle in the family garage, i don't think the mom is going to let him pay the utilities. besides, malamang family business ang sumasagot ng gastusin sa bahay (utilities, cable, internet, driver, etc), so there's no point for him to chip in. that would make sense from a taxation point of view.

in the end, ang decision point lang talaga diyan is stay at home or venture out. he doesn't have to resign from the family business, since dun na talaga ang trabaho niya. pero kung talagang malakas loob niya, subukan niyang mag-trabaho sa ibang company. maganda kung multinational companies. marami siyang matututunan. tapos later on, he can resign from the multinational company and re-join the family business. magagamit pa niya ang mga natutunan niya sa multinational company sa family business nila. and he can use this as an excuse.

mahirap bitawan ang nakagisnang komportableng pamumuhay kaya usually, mas malakas ang loob ng mga medyo kapos sa buhay. again, like what balagtas said, "ang laki sa layaw karaniwa'y hubad.'

[boydapa]

ganyan din problema ko huhuhu hindi pala ako nag iisa!
kaso ang problema may asawa nako and hindi ko naranasan maging independent. gusto ko gawin at puntahan maraming bagay na walang sumasaway. ayoko na laging bilang ang oras at galaw ko.

[66bunny]

Yeah, some people don't get matured kahit kasal na sila or hiwalay na sila sa magulang.

Nasa tao na mismo yan. So let's leave it like that.

I can't imagine living with my parents after I'm 30. What's the point? Financial security? Comfort Zone? Tipid? Walang gastusin? Kahit mag-chip in ako sa gastusin, di ko pa rin matiis umalis and be on my own. DO I see my parents as an investment in the future? Stay with em so I can save more money in the end?

I never thought it that way. That's a bad insight.

In the same manner parents think their kids as their life insurance.

Here's the worst advice I got from an "friend": Get married early so that your kids can wipe your ass when you get old. They will take care of you.

Ass wipe. Major. Get filthy rich and hire a maid to do the work. Not your kids. Where did he get that view? I don't know.

I can't remember the movie wherein a guy brings home a girl in his room and when they started making out, the mom knocks on his door. Na turn off ang girl. She left away. That's really funny.

I say being alone teaches you a lot of things, maturity aside. And that's to be responsible and be aware of your spendings.

And a lot of errors with us is we only move out AFTER getting married.

Big mistake.

They never experienced being alone, most of the time both husband and wife, kaya hayun, giyera ang nakakauwian.

And besides, every parent will be proud that their kids can live on their own without their support and guidance. IF the parents insists that they know better than their child, THEN there's something wrong.

And that's never teaching their kids to decide on their own.

Tingin pa rin nila sa anak ay isang "fully grown boy or baby girl".

Spare me the pain kimchy duddy-doodle doo.

The best advice I got from my deceased father was: "You have to rely on your own, I won't be forever at your side."

How I wish he sees me now with all the little success I made.

I know a guy who works but still have a different ATM, from his parents daw, monthly "allowance" daw niya. And he's like 36 or 37. And he still lives with his parents.

Now girls, do you think that's impressive?

[badsekktor]

I started living alone as soon as i can since nasanay na ko ng ganun nung college ako. ngayon married na pinilit ko pa rin humiwalay kami sa mga magulang namin. mabuti na ng matuto ng maaga...

we always visit our parents if we have time kaya lang nakakaawa rin mga magulang lalo na kung solo anak or konti lang kayo magkakapatid...

[LEB]

Well here are some facts about my friend. He works in the fambiz but he also has his own business on the side that can afford him to buy a car, rent a condo etc.. In short he would be able to survive in the world but the luxurious standards of living that he is used to would not be the same once he moves out.
Last time I talked with him he mentioned that he already told his parents about moving out but they simply refused to and got really angry with him and threatened him with stuffs that if he decided to leave he would be cut off the family tree. In short they are burning the bridges with him permanently if he would leave home.This is a serious thing so I advised him to rethink things as not to jeopardized his future.
Another thing is his dad connives with his mom so its 2 heads against one.

To Jun Pekto: What exactly have you learned by living alone. maybe you can share some specific details and examples point for point so i can impart them to my friend. Since I havent experience that yet I wouldnt be able to give the right advice that my friend needs at this point of his life.

[smooth]

Last time I talked with him he mentioned that he already told his parents about moving out but they simply refused to and got really angry with him and threatened him with stuffs that if he decided to leave he would be cut off the family tree. In short they are burning the bridges with him permanently if he would leave home.This is a serious thing so I advised him to rethink things as not to jeopardized his future.

ang masasabi ko lang ay HANEP! kakaibang mga magulang yan a hehehe dad ko tuwang tuwa ng nag-sarili na ako e. pero mga magulang niya ganun? question: guy ba o girl ang kaibigan mo? ang tindi a. can you say SHELTERED?

incidentally, you did say family tree right? as in FAMILY TREE? whoa. hindi lang parents and siblings, kundi pati na din mga uncles, aunties, cousins, grandparents and stuff. whew. parang excommunication a. what gives? nag-iisang anak ba ito? and the dad connives with the mom pa. pardon me pero sobrang lakas ng influence ng mother a. curious lang ako: "under" ba ang tatay? medyo "malambot" ba ang kaibigan mo? yung nanay ba ang successful at medyo "hanger on" ang tatay?

sorry, pero kelangan ko na itanong ito: baka naman dinadagdagan na ng kaibigan mo ang kwento. kasi parang total na pagtatakwil na ang gagawin ng nanay niya kapag nagsarili siya. nakakapag-bakasyon ba outside the country ang kaibigan mo nang hindi kasama ang nanay niya? ang tindi ah.

[LEB]

ang masasabi ko lang ay HANEP! kakaibang mga magulang yan a hehehe dad ko tuwang tuwa ng nag-sarili na ako e. pero mga magulang niya ganun? question: guy ba o girl ang kaibigan mo? ang tindi a. can you say SHELTERED?

incidentally, you did say family tree right? as in FAMILY TREE? whoa. hindi lang parents and siblings, kundi pati na din mga uncles, aunties, cousins, grandparents and stuff. whew. parang excommunication a. what gives? nag-iisang anak ba ito? and the dad connives with the mom pa. pardon me pero sobrang lakas ng influence ng mother a. curious lang ako: "under" ba ang tatay? medyo "malambot" ba ang kaibigan mo? yung nanay ba ang successful at medyo "hanger on" ang tatay?

sorry, pero kelangan ko na itanong ito: baka naman dinadagdagan na ng kaibigan mo ang kwento. kasi parang total na pagtatakwil na ang gagawin ng nanay niya kapag nagsarili siya. nakakapag-bakasyon ba outside the country ang kaibigan mo nang hindi kasama ang nanay niya? ang tindi ah.

Firstly He is a he so a guy. His Mom runs the household and she has more power over dad. I dunno kung dinagdagan iyun kuwento pero ang sabi sakin is itatakwil daw sha pag nagsarili sha. Seems like mom is over protective and he is definitely sheltered. Thats the reason why he wants to get out so he wont be too sheltered and know how the real world is. As to the question whether he is malambot , I can say is that constant pressure from mom since childhood have altered his backbone a bit. we cant really blame him given his circumstance in life but he sure is luckier than most of us when it comes to material possessions courtesy of his family.

[mazdamazda]

as long as he can feed himself 3x a day, have a decent roof over his head, and have some savings... I think that he can forego with all the "luxuries" in favor of "freedom".

theatening to cut-off ties is just so immature of them. well... pera lang yan.

[swordsman]

joke lang yon ni mommy. parang threat nung bata na 'kurot ka ni mommy sa singit pag nibosohan mo si inday..'

i'm sure, di tototohanin yan...pag tinotoo... abnormal nga.

[smooth]

Firstly He is a he so a guy. His Mom runs the household and she has more power over dad. I dunno kung dinagdagan iyun kuwento pero ang sabi sakin is itatakwil daw sha pag nagsarili sha. Seems like mom is over protective and he is definitely sheltered. Thats the reason why he wants to get out so he wont be too sheltered and know how the real world is. As to the question whether he is malambot , I can say is that constant pressure from mom since childhood have altered his backbone a bit. we cant really blame him given his circumstance in life but he sure is luckier than most of us when it comes to material possessions courtesy of his family.

after reading all the posts twice, i guess its time your friend face the facts and realize that the choice is out of his hands. perhaps life is truly not fair. some people want money more than freedom. others prefer things the other way around. maybe we really just want what we cannot have.

siguro, tanggapin na lang ng kaibigan mo ang katotohanan and just make the most of what he's got (which is, by the way, quite a lot). ganun talaga e.

[Lucius]

Isa pang pwede solution, buy the house next to theirs. At least pwede na sya maglock ng gate hehehehe pero supported pa din ung bills and other expenses nya. Sarap ng buhay na yun

[Jun aka Pekto]

To Jun Pekto: What exactly have you learned by living alone. maybe you can share some specific details and examples point for point so i can impart them to my friend. Since I havent experience that yet I wouldnt be able to give the right advice that my friend needs at this point of his life.

For one thing, I learned the value of money and how hard my parents worked to earn a living. I also learned responsibility like maintaining my upkeep, maintaining a home, establishing credit very early on. Of course, I went through for a period where I had barely had enough to make ends meet. But, I was single then. So, there weren't any undue repercussions to anyone but myself.

Since I was in charge of myself, I chose freely who to associate with and without regards to race or creed. If it was up to my mom, I wouldn't have any friends except other Pinoys. By that I mean only those in "Tagalog" regions. Forget about my wife who's from Leyte and speaks Waray. My mom has a very bad xenophobic streak. Even in the US, she didn't want to have anything to do with African-Americans. She's not too hot with caucasians either. I remember her chasing off (with a machete) an Aussie architect who was a penpal of my sister and who came from abroad to visit. There was no way my sister was marrying a foreigner according to her book.

Of course, I had to endure her full wrath when I married my wife. But, by that point, being on my own made me strong. I had enough confidence to stand up to her and tell her point blank that it's my life and I'll live it the way I wished. In hindsight, I probably should've just kept quiet not have said that last part. The consequences from that I still feel today. Oh well *shrugs*. Life goes on.

I probably wouldn't have fitted her mold anyway because I was a free spirit. Like what someone else in this thread said, my attitude was more akin to young adults in the US than a young adult in the Philippines. Continuing to live with my control-crazy mom would've been a death sentence to me. It would've been a matter of time before I walked off anyway.

The TS' friend seems already capable of fending on his own. I don't see why a mere move from a bedroom at his folks home to his own condo would make such a big difference. If I was in his position and moved to an apartment nearby, my mom would probably visit everyday and go yak-yak-yakking to my face and still try to control me.