MEN: Social Class and Education NOT a Factor in Choosing a GF/Wife?

[dr. d]

I don't think my family is close minded naman, they are just conservative and traditional. For example, if my brother listened to my Mom and married the GF they approved of e di tahimik lahat ng buhay namin Mother's instinct, they know if someone is not good for you. I really believe in that

close-minded.
conservative and traditional.

in some circles,
those two are synonyms, differentiated only by societal status.

heh heh.

[bloowolf]

I don't think my family is close minded naman, they are just conservative and traditional. For example, if my brother listened to my Mom and married the GF they approved of e di tahimik lahat ng buhay namin Mother's instinct, they know if someone is not good for you. I really believe in that

The family opinion can guide you into making that very important decision but at the end of the day, it’s still your happiness that matters most. The man may be perfect for them. Good family, financially secure, good breeding…. pero frigid pala. I know of 2 marriages that failed because of this. Yung isa naman, the girl is so cute, the family is so conservative, she looks like the perfect girl & the relationship looked perfect. They had 2 kids but, she couldn’t forget her former bf. True love pala niya yun the family couldn’t accept. Ayun, had a secret relationship, sa US pa pumupunta at the husbands expense until nahuli.


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[kagalingan]

cathey tama sinasabi ni bloady of bgc.

Masyado nakatingin sa prim & proper too focus sa etiquette.

Ako na single ang importante magaling bumiJ. Kahit sumayaw pa yan ng faro-faroG

[uls]

cathey tama sinasabi ni bloady of bgc.

Masyado nakatingin sa prim & proper too focus sa etiquette.

Ako na single ang importante magaling bumiJ. Kahit sumayaw pa yan ng faro-faroG

pero hindi yan ang babae ipapakilala mo sa magulang mo diba?

[bloowolf]

Ang sinasabi ba ninyo ay maski gaano ninyo kagusto yung partner ninyo, kung ayaw ng pamilya ninyo, iiwan ninyo?


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[_Cathy_]

The family opinion can guide you into making that very important decision but at the end of the day, it’s still your happiness that matters most. The man may be perfect for them. Good family, financially secure, good breeding…. pero frigid pala. I know of 2 marriages that failed because of this. Yung isa naman, the girl is so cute, the family is so conservative, she looks like the perfect girl & the relationship looked perfect. They had 2 kids but, she couldn’t forget her former bf. True love pala niya yun the family couldn’t accept. Ayun, had a secret relationship, sa US pa pumupunta at the husbands expense until nahuli.

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But I also witnessed in my own family how dating someone your family disapproves of can ruin a marriage. Mahirap kasi walang support tapos constant conflict of the wife/husband with the family. I'm just saying I would choose the least complicated path and be with someone my family approves of. So far most of the guys I dated my family likes naman, failed lang talaga lahat ng relationships ko, and I can't blame anyone else.

cathey tama sinasabi ni bloady of bgc.

Masyado nakatingin sa prim & proper too focus sa etiquette.

Ako na single ang importante magaling bumiJ. Kahit sumayaw pa yan ng faro-faroG

huh? How did it become about etiquette? It's the totality. Basta date within your social class - not too high, not too low.

A few days ago my Lola and I were talking showbiz. She said si Derek, verbatim "ginagamit ang utak" LOL! He dated starlets but married Ellen. Ellen is wild, Derek is a fckboy, both single parents and already well off before they entered showbiz. Match made in heaven LOL

Ang sinasabi ba ninyo ay maski gaano ninyo kagusto yung partner ninyo, kung ayaw ng pamilya ninyo, iiwan ninyo?

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In the first place, I wouldn't be attracted to a partner my family disapproves of. I don't know what is it with me, pero once my family lets me know they don't like a guy I am dating namamatay na din feelings ko.

[uls]

Ang sinasabi ba ninyo ay maski gaano ninyo kagusto yung partner ninyo, kung ayaw ng pamilya ninyo, iiwan ninyo?


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in my case kasi when i meet a girl sa umpisa palang i'll know kung papasa siya sa family and friends

if not, i'll keep an emotional distance

so di umaabot sa point na gustong gusto ko ung girl pero ayaw ng pamilya

never na-meet ng pamilya hehe

[Little Missy]

In the first place, I wouldn't be attracted to a partner my family disapproves of. I don't know what is it with me, pero once my family lets me know they don't like a guy I am dating namamatay na din feelings ko.

Pareho tayo. If that happens I think ako ang masusunod pero parang hindi ko rin ipipilit if I know my mom will disapprove. I will stop seeing the guy eventually.

Dalawa ang alam kong ayaw ng nanay ko. Una yung walang pera at ako ang magpapakain. There was this guy sa church dati, he was from Mindanao and he was studying to be a pastor. Ang bait ng nanay ko dun as in she gives him money and food but when she found out tinutukso kami nagalit siya. Tapos I remember my brother came to his defense, mabuti nga daw na dun sa guy na yun ako mapunta coz he's a good guy HAHAHA.


Second na I think ayaw niya, yung mga may sabit. Married but separated. Mas approved pa nga niya that I end up with a middle aged widower.

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[bloowolf]

in my case kasi when i meet a girl sa umpisa palang i'll know kung papasa siya sa family and friends

if not, i'll keep an emotional distance

so di umaabot sa point na gustong gusto ko ung girl pero ayaw ng pamilya

never na-meet ng pamilya hehe

Yun… so it’s not because there should be an approval from your family but because you choose based on the norms you were brought up on. So there is an attraction on your part.
But in Cathy’s case, how will you ever get to know the person when your family gets in the way from the onset? I know of some parents who are so overprotective of their daughters that they think the negative of every boy their daughter brings home. & I have this friend whose dad hated her BF but they persisted & he gradually proved his worthiness. He is now the most loved SIL in the family. I just think you have to fight for your man.


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[uls]

Yun… so it’s not because there should be an approval from your family but because you choose based on the norms you were brought up on. So there is an attraction on your part.

i mean pag alam ko di papasa it doesn't mean aayawan ko na

pwede ko isikreto ang relationship

hanggang matapos ung relationship di alam ng pamilya nagka gf ako

[_Cathy_]

Pareho tayo. If that happens I think ako ang masusunod pero parang hindi ko rin ipipilit if I know my mom will disapprove. I will stop seeing the guy eventually.

Dalawa ang alam kong ayaw ng nanay ko. Una yung walang pera at ako ang magpapakain. There was this guy sa church dati, he was from Mindanao and he was studying to be a pastor. Ang bait ng nanay ko dun as in she gives him money and food but when she found out tinutukso kami nagalit siya. Second na I think ayaw niya, yung mga may sabit. Married but separated. Mas approved pa nga niya that I end up with a middle aged widower.

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Your Mom is extremely reasonable naman. I don't think any parent would want their daughter (or son) to have a partner na walang pera at may sabit. My Kuya is going on wife no 3 and even our own family thinks he is not a good catch. We are puzzled where he finds these women, ang nakaka shock pa the specs keeps on getting better

May exception pala, yung parents ng Paulinian friend ko, walang pera BF niya and works a blue collar job in middle east and yet he was accepted by the family kasi mabait. Unfortunately, I think my friend being "angat" sa kanya in all aspects made him insecure kaya they broke up. Yung Paulinian friend ko kasi, she says they struggled before financially and only recently became comfortable. I guess kaya her parents were understanding of her BF siguro umaasa sila he'll come around

Yun… so it’s not because there should be an approval from your family but because you choose based on the norms you were brought up on. So there is an attraction on your part.
But in Cathy’s case, how will you ever get to know the person when your family gets in the way from the onset? I know of some parents who are so overprotective of their daughters that they think the negative of every boy their daughter brings home. & I have this friend whose dad hated her BF but they persisted & he gradually proved his worthiness. He is now the most loved SIL in the family. I just think you have to fight for your man.

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In my post above, I said na so far the guys I dated my family likes naman. Hindi naman aabot sa ipapakila ko sa family ko kung alam kong hindi magugustuhan. Pero there were instances na akala ko perfect na pero may na comment pa hahaha! However, there are also cases na my family likes but I don't like, siyempre on the surface the guy seems perfect but they don't know what happens behind closed doors.

[kagalingan]

cathey,

analyze mo na lang sa family mo kung bakit puro hiwalayan. Toxic na yan.

Nagrereflect ano kinalakihan

[_Cathy_]

cathey,

analyze mo na lang sa family mo bakit kung puro hiwalayan. Toxic na yan.

Nagrereflect ano kinalakihan

Hindi naman lahat hiwalay. I don't think it has to do with our family, it has more to do with the generation, mga Gen x and younger kapag ayaw na hihiwalay unlike mga boomers and older na til death do them part talaga.

I think we are too attached to our parents kasi and I guess that becomes an issue sa partner. Napaka unconditional magmahal ng family ko especially my Dad's side of the family. They will ALWAYS take the side of their child. Parang nung sa hiwalayan, lahat kasalanan ng kabila, never may fault yung anak hahaha

[bugsmobile]

Hindi naman lahat hiwalay. I don't think it has to do with our family, it has more to do with the generation, mga Gen x and younger kapag ayaw na hihiwalay unlike mga boomers and older na til death do them part talaga.

I think we are too attached to our parents kasi and I guess that becomes an issue sa partner. Napaka unconditional magmahal ng family ko especially my Dad's side of the family. They will ALWAYS take the side of their child. Parang nung sa hiwalayan, lahat kasalanan ng kabila, never may fault yung anak hahaha

Ah mahirap yan. They will always take the side of the son/daughter even if he/she was at fault?

[_Cathy_]

Ah mahirap yan. They will always take the side of the son/daughter even if he/she was at fault?

Sa side ng Dad ko, parang ganun na nga. I think it's ridiculous, example when my exKuya and first wife naghiwalay, lahat ng blame nasa wife even if it was my exKuya that left I really like her, she's nice and did her best to fix the marriage.

Both sides of my family, very traditional like the burden to keep the marriage/family together is on the woman. Kaya I am not a believer of Happy Wife Happy Life. Sa amin pinagsisilbihan at mataas ang tingin sa lalaki. My Lola (Dad's Mom) and my Mom cannot stress that enough. Kaya I have no problem with authority, as long as I view the man as alpha male.

[Little Missy]

Kaya I have no problem with authority, as long as I view the man as alpha male.

Same. I can submit to a man kaya nga I don't consider myself a feminist. Pero the man has to earn that respect it can't be imposed. Niloloko ka na, submit ka pa? Siguro kaya attractive mga Luke Espiritu type no. It's really not the looks and the money.

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[_Cathy_]

Same. I can submit to a man kaya nga I don't consider myself a feminist. Pero the man has to earn that respect it can't be imposed. Niloloko ka na, submit ka pa? Siguro kaya attractive mga Luke Espiritu type no. It's really not the looks and the money.

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Yup, I'm the opposite of a feminist nga hahaha. Sa office puro guys barkada ko and they say that I am stubborn and always need to have my way. I did NOT realize this until I was told outright na ang lakas daw ng personality ko Pero pag dating daw sa German boss ko napaka submissive at lambing ko daw, hindi ko naman masabi na kasi Alpha male siya e. hahaha. Ginagaya nga nila yung personality switch ko yung normal cathy and cathy with German boss HAHA

It's true, si Luke Espiritu proof na you don't have to be rich, tall or have a muscular body to be alpha, it's all about the personality and character talaga. Pero napaka bihira talaga ng alpha males. Sa buong buhay ko, less than 10 lang kilala ko

[kagalingan]

ayan buti nagiging malinaw na = naatrract kayo sa personality at character.

Buti naman lumabas din katotohanan. Makipag date na kayo hahaha

[_Cathy_]

ayan buti nagiging malinaw na = naatrract kayo sa personality at character.

Buti naman lumabas din katotohanan. Makipag date na kayo hahaha

It's ALWAYS been about personality, character AND intelligence. In my case, it just so happened that the alpha males I know are good looking and successful, pero even if they weren't, I would still be attracted.

[bloowolf]

men kasi don't really need women who are good providers

nature programmed men to seek mates who are healthy-looking and look ready for childbirth

kaya boobs, hips, butt ang tinitingnan

Some truth in this. In hs & college, we always had to have the best looking gfs but surprisingly, a lot in my batch didn’t end up with the lookers. They married those they felt are very caring & nurturing.


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