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  1. Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    38,119
    #111
    Quote Originally Posted by kagalingan View Post
    Tsikoteers.... We look sa history.

    Im singol pala and no plans yet magpakasal but i mingol.

    Sa usapang kasal, tayo mga asians eh hindi pwede purely amerkano style na "me and you against the world"

    Pag edad na 21 to 25 years old magpapakasal = ano ba alam na mga yan sa usapang pag-aasawa? So parents are guide. Pero ingat din sa parents na nuknukan pagka oppurtinista.

    Sa history uso ang arrange marriage. Dati ayaw ko din yan pero further studies eh naintindihan ko na.
    nai-intindihan is one thing.
    approving is another.
    and experiencing it in one's life is a totally different thing.
    as my favorite alien once said, "i said, i understood. i did not say i approved".

    so kags, which is it for you?

  2. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,115
    #112
    Quote Originally Posted by _Cathy_ View Post
    I cannot imagine choosing a BF over my parents. If my parents don't approve of him, then it's over. I would not be in this planet if it weren't for my parents. They raised me, gave me unconditional love and love me more than they love themselves so I would never be with a person that they do not approve of.
    That's your choice. I can't comment on it further because I know nothing of your life.

    Me? I grew up under a different set of circumstances. Being a male, my parents raised and encouraged me to be independent....and I did. The only reason I didn't move out after HS was my mom wanted me to wait until I was 21.

    My father was fine with whoever I married. It was my mom who raised a ruckus, all because my wife* was from the Visayas. I thought it was a stupid reason and I stuck to my guns until she finally relented.

    I have two kids of my own. One thing I will never do is impose my will on them once they reach adulthood. They don't owe me anything. All I ask of them is to live their life the best they can.

    *Edit:
    I can only imagine my mom's rage if I brought over a Caucasian fiancee.....I almost did too.
    Last edited by Jun aka Pekto; August 15th, 2018 at 09:34 AM.

  3. Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    5,362
    #113
    Agree . Our kids arent our slaves. They have to be allowed to live their own lives. We can only give them the best tools and environment to succeed and be a good person to their family and to society.

    I may disagree with them but i who am i to say with 100% certainty who would be the best partner for them? I wouldnt know their preferred partners full circumstances or emotional and mental makeup. It would be unfair for me to breakup a relationship because of any misconceptions i may have.


    *Cathy. Regarding your circumstances. Your mom is for your 50 yr old male friend when we all know here from your stories that he is an utter disaster. This is just an example I want to make that parents dont know everything.



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  4. Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    38,119
    #114
    "mom, if you like him so much, why don't YOU marry him?"
    heh heh heh.

  5. Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,018
    #115
    I remembered one time when I was in school, I caught my health education teacher smoking in the parking lot after teaching us the evils of smoking. I laughed. What a badass. I guess he is only there to get paid. He was my role model though. lol

    A friend of mine was ranting about his parents because they don't approve of his girlfriend and that she's not good enough for him and all that stuff. I was shaking my head, "Dude, aren't your parents divorced? Your mom married twice and your dad is something I don't want to say. And here they are giving you advice because they don't want you ending up like them. They don't want you to make their mistakes but they still continue doing it."

    I just told him, "Dude, just get the fkc out of there and live somewhere else. You're old enough to live your own life."

    Obviously, they are just using him as their therapuetic outlet for their failures.

  6. Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    12,115
    #116
    Quote Originally Posted by EQAddict View Post
    Agree . Our kids arent our slaves. They have to be allowed to live their own lives. We can only give them the best tools and environment to succeed and be a good person to their family and to society.

    I may disagree with them but i who am i to say with 100% certainty who would be the best partner for them? I wouldnt know their preferred partners full circumstances or emotional and mental makeup. It would be unfair for me to breakup a relationship because of any misconceptions i may have.


    *Cathy. Regarding your circumstances. Your mom is for your 50 yr old male friend when we all know here from your stories that he is an utter disaster. This is just an example I want to make that parents dont know everything.
    Parents mean well for their kids, especially PH parents when compared to other parents I've seen. They have a good reputation for keeping families intact. So, I give them kudos for effort.

    But, kids grow up and at some point, we (the parents) have to let go. We'll still be around in case our adult kids stumble and need our help.

    I'm a realist in all these and I know I will not be around forever. So, my ultimate goal in life is to make sure my kids can stand on their own.

  7. Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,541
    #117
    Quote Originally Posted by dr. d View Post
    nai-intindihan is one thing.
    approving is another.
    and experiencing it in one's life is a totally different thing.
    as my favorite alien once said, "i said, i understood. i did not say i approved".

    so kags, which is it for you?
    Doc, sino alien na yan? Haha

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  8. Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    6,378
    #118
    I remember mg ex-GF before I met my wife, she is beautiful, I told her she looked like Winona Ryder, her reply is "who is she?". When I'm asking her what movie she likes to watch, she would always choose tagalog movies. Nagtataka ako bakit ayaw nya ng english movies, then I found out why when she gave me a love letter written in english. her grammar is so bad n a tawa ng tawa ang friend ko nung nabasa nya. looks is the only thing thats going for her.

    i didnt see a future with her, i was imagining that ill be working all day then I will leave her at our house with our kids and she will teach out kids with broken english, no way! from then on intelligence is a big factor for me.

  9. Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    2,541
    #119
    Quote Originally Posted by BratPAQ View Post
    I remember mg ex-GF before I met my wife, she is beautiful, I told her she looked like Winona Ryder, her reply is "who is she?". When I'm asking her what movie she likes to watch, she would always choose tagalog movies. Nagtataka ako bakit ayaw nya ng english movies, then I found out why when she gave me a love letter written in english. her grammar is so bad n a tawa ng tawa ang friend ko nung nabasa nya. looks is the only thing thats going for her.

    i didnt see a future with her, i was imagining that ill be working all day then I will leave her at our house with our kids and she will teach out kids with broken english, no way! from then on intelligence is a big factor for me.
    Hmmm you could have taught her...? Though Kaka turn off Talaga hindi nya kilala si Winona.

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  10. Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    6,378
    #120
    Quote Originally Posted by sean-archer View Post
    Hmmm you could have taught her...? Though Kaka turn off Talaga hindi nya kilala si Winona.

    Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk
    My english isn't that hot either so I don't think I can teach her that much. Beside I quickly fell out of love. As I said looks is the only thing that's going for her.

    Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

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MEN: Social Class and Education NOT a Factor in Choosing a GF/Wife?