Marrying a Single Mom

[uls]

Hindi talaga sabi ko nga break na nya hehehehe kasi yang mga single moms hanggang tumatagal lalong umaasa. Mas matindi pa yan sa matitinong girls. Sila kasi yung mga "tumino" for some reason kahit date lang ng date laging umaasa na may seseryoso sa kanila eventually

so hindi pala matino ang mga single mom hahaha!

Tumino sila kasi after sila nabuntis at iniwan, dun na nila narealize hindi fairy-tale-happily-ever-after ang buhay...

oo tama ka jan... mas matindi umasa mga single mom... mas matindi kasi pangangailangan nila... financially, emotionally... i-need-a-husband mode sila e

[_Cathy_]

oo tama ka jan... mas matindi umasa mga single mom... mas matindi kasi pangangailangan nila... financially, emotionally... i-need-a-husband mode sila e

Sad but true especially emotionally. Dilemma din ng friend ko that her child needs to have a Dad na.

[Jun aka Pekto]

I've seen my share of single moms. I can't say much how they got themselves into that situation. It could be from adultery, being widowed, being naive, or divorcing a deadbeat dad or wife beater. I don't know. It could be anyone of those things.

Naiveness and escaping a deadbeat dad/wife beater tend to be the most common because adulterers are smart enough to have protection from pregnancy.

I do admire the willingness of single moms to care for their kids alone. Most of those I've seen look for single guys with jobs, good jobs if possible. They rarely go for college guys knowing full well such guys probably don't have a job, still depend on their parents, and don't know the first thing about raising a family.

My wife's cousin was married to a GI who was cheating on her. She found out through a friend who saw him with another girl. She divorced his *ss and raised their daughter alone.

We helped support her through college. There, she met a guy who inherited his family's millions. He proposed to her and adopted her daughter as his own. They got married and now live in the rich part of Reno. He really didn't have to work. But, he runs a computer store just for the love of it. In fact, it's his private server we play Battlefield 2 on.

Add: To be fair, my wife's cousin is gorgeous. She's got the looks and figure that'll attract guys. Although her mom's Pinay, she's all Caucasian outside. Even now years later, it's hard to tell she's ever had a kid, let alone 2 because of her (great) figure. Make that 3 because they adopted one her young nephews from the Philippines.

My wife suggested the same thing about adopting another nephew from the Philippines since we have 2 daughters and no son...... I told her I'll think about it.

[rion]

this is one of the main reason why islam allows more than one wife. when a wife is widowed because the husband died on the war. a datu could marry the widowed wife to support her children.

the problem is, this rule is being exploited.

[shadow]

Pre don't forget Alma Moreno and Osang hahahahahahaha

Dapat sa friend mo maghanap ng katulad ni papi [Willie Revillame] hahahaha kaso gusto yata nun wala ding sabit

alma and osang naman eh hinde rin naman mga singles ang naging partner nila unlike Sharon and Vilma...

hinde yun paptulan ni willie, makakakuha naman siya ng single at bata pa, bakit siya papatol sa single mom at may edad na...

I guess hinde pa rin masyadong tanggap dito sa atin yan unlike sa US...kasi siguro meron silang divorce doon so being a sigle parent is a normal thing there

look at all the happy ending stories of our fellow members redorange and juan's cousin..they are both living is the states,

[uls]

haha si willie pa... mga Christine Reyes ang type nya...

[nostalgia]

haha si willie pa... mga Christine Reyes ang type nya...

uy sir uls, 'friends lang daw sila'

[_Cathy_]

Sorry to the fans of Willie Revillame pero I really don't get what girls see in him.

[nostalgia]

humor daw sis.. yun daw ang nakikita nila.. well di ba mostly ng girls falls for funny guys kahit di ganun kagwapo.

[_Cathy_]

humor DAW nga. hehehe. I don't even find him funny. Actually he irritates me like hell. Saka para siyang si Sylvester the Cat kung magsalita

[nostalgia]

ahaha... well ganun talaga pero sabi naman ni Christine Reyes "friends" lang sila.

[uls]

humor DAW nga. hehehe. I don't even find him funny. Actually he irritates me like hell. Saka para siyang si Sylvester the Cat kung magsalita

sino gusto mo magsalita?

si Tweety Bird?

I tot i taw a putty tat

[nostalgia]

haha si willie pa... mga Christine Reyes ang type nya...

sino gusto mo magsalita?

si Tweety Bird?

I tot i taw a putty tat

natawa ako dun sir uls... :rofl:

[russpogi]

Here's my two cents:
"...for better or worst, 'till death do us part."

If the partner is gone (dies), then the other is legally and morally allowed to get married again. And of course, by marrying again, the new partner needs to support the step-children as they do come with the package. If you'd like to marry someone with kids, you support 'em. If you don't want to, look for another. Simple as that.

Also, same if the mother has conceived children out of wedlock. Again, if you'd like to marry someone with kids, you support 'em. If you don't want to, look for another. Again as simple as that.

[russpogi]

She should marry because of love not because of the money.

My wife was a single and a mom when we met and our daughter(I don't like the word step) is 10 years old and I treat her as my own. My daughter was 7 when I first met her and she does know who her bilogical dad is but considers me her only father. My mom treats her as if she were her "apo" by blood and is spoiled just as any "apo" would be, in fact my mom can't sleep w/o her "apo" by her side.

Funny thing is when we started dating I didn't know she had a child and she was apprehensive to tell me thinking I would leave her. When she told me I told her it was fine by me and had my mom call her to ease her worry and tell her it was not a problem for my family to accept. I don't see children from a single mom as complications, I see them as children who need a father like any other child. Now I have a great 10 year old daughter, a beautiful wife, and in-laws who treat me as their own son.

Just tell your friend to marry for the right reasons.

By the way, I really like this post! I'm really happy for your Sir redorange!

[s_quilicot]

By the way, I really like this post! I'm really happy for your Sir redorange!

+1 .. eye opener din .. pedeng pang MMK ..

[Flagg]

Children don't bug me. I can afford them naman e. The more the merrier!

[Fozzie Bear]

Shortly after I met my wife I was told she had a son (the biological father had left them to fend for themselves before he was born 12 years earlier).
In all honesty I wasn't really sure how to react at first, but then I thought, i really like this girl and let's just see how things develop. It developed into a marriage and we now have a daughter as well. I'm trying to adopt her son as my own (but the Philippine authorities are making it difficult. I'm English, my wife and 'our' son are Filipino and our daughter has dual Filipino/British nationality).
A lot of comments here are based on the fact that there is zero contact between the biological father and the child (which from my experience seems to be the vast majority of cases). I'd be interested to here how people would react if the father was still in contact with his offspring.

[webmiester]

My friends and I have been debating over this and I thought of getting the perpective of guys. If a guy marries a single mom (either widow or had children outside wedlock***), does that mean that the guy will provide for the step children as well?

***Single Mom has zero contact with the father of the step children

Reason why I asked is because my married friend told me that if she gets widowed early she will remarry so that someone coud provide for her and her children. I totally disagree because I don't believe in remarrying. It's just that I don't see men exclusively as providers. If I do get widowed early (hopefully not) then I'd have to raise my children on my own.

Yes, the guy should provide for the step children. They are a family, and families should learn to share their resources. If the woman's reason for searching out a husband for "supportive" purposes, then she is just concerned of their security. I dont see any real reason why this would be a bad thing. It would be a bad thing if she chose to seduce a guy and make him "pikot" for security purposes, but to seek security even from a second marriage is not a bad thing. Security is actually one of the reasons why many people (whether with or without children) get married, and it wouldnt be that different from a single girl without a child who wants to marry her bf first before conceiving to assure a more stable financial support for her/their would-be children. Nauna nga lang yung bata in this case.

"Providing" for the children doesnt just mean financial, of course. It also means providing them with emotional support, with care, and with proper advice. I think I would do that with anyone I lived with, whether or not they are my children.

I actually know of single fathers, as widowers and as out of wedlock. They are fewer than the single moms, but they're out there...so if I return the question to you Cathy: If you fell in love with one of these single dad's, would you take care of his children? Would it be wrong for him to Marry you because he enjoys it when you take care of his children? Would it be wrong for him to think of what is best for his children when he marries you?

Which part of remarrying don't you agree with?

[_Cathy_]

I like to keep my life simple so avoid going into complicated relationships. I have nothing against single dads or widowers but I don't think I could handle being a step mom that is why I applaud step moms that do a good job in both raising both their own and step children.

I do not believe in remarrying because my heart will forever belong to the one that I will marry. If I become a widow early then I would just have to work doubly hard to raise my children alone. I will just focus all my time and energy in taking care of my children. Honestly, I also cannot imagine making love to another guy other than the father of my children (even after death).