Joke Time!

[architect]

A foreign Newspaper wants to publish a report about the life in Egypt,So
they send a female reporter to interview the common citizen in egypt..when
she arrives at cairo..she picks a random guy ,and starts her interview

Reporter:Hi
Egyptian:We 3alkom el salam ya 2otta
Reporter:Do u speak english?
Egyptian:Berfect
Reporter:Do u mind if i interview u?
Egyptian:No,i dont have a mind
Reporter:What's your name?
Egyptian:Taha
Reporter:***?
Taha: I love it
Reporter:oh no, i meant male or female?
Taha (yelling): what do u sink?
Reporter:Its just for the sake of the report..never mind...male....
Taha:yas male..and i can brove it any time u want
Reporter:No,thanks,I'll take u for ur word...so..how do u find life here in egypt?
Taha:Egybt..very nice cantry..nice wezar..nice food..byramidz
Reporter:oh well..beside the weather and the pyramids..what else do u like in ur country?
Taha: Byramids,nice wezar,nice food
Reporter:Ok..lets move on..what do u do?
Taha: I am very well ,sank u
Reporter:No,I mean do u have a job?
Taha(looking around him and whispering):Jobat?..no i dont have any (jobat)..lessa mastaba7nash..do u have a (job) with u?..we can esmoke it in my car..dont warry about bolice
Reprter:Oh my god,DO YOU WORK?
Taha:Yas yas..Taxi drivar
Reporter:What do u think about the traffic problem in egypt?
Taha:Very big broblem..very much cars..u see?..but za guvurment is trying to make it bettar..zey did the circle street and za me7war street..and zey make all streets one way so if u go..u cant come back..niahahaha3
Reporter:What about the economic problems in Egypt?
Taha:I do not undurstand what u say
Reporter:I mean..how do u deal with money problems in egypt?
Taha: No NO NO..egybt very rich cantry...we have alot of cotton..alot of water..and we have byramidz
Reporter: So do u make a lot of money?
Taha:No no.. it is not legal to make money..one frend i know make money at home..and he go to brizon..if u make money at home..u can only give it to za banzeena man..they take any money
Reporter: let me rephrase..since Egypt is a rich country.. do u have a lot of money?
Taha:me?! ..Not alot..but I eat and drink Al7amdulelah?
Reporter:Then where does all the money go?
Taha: Guvurment
Reporter:And what does the government do with the money?
Taha:Zey Build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way
Reporter:well , Ok...Do u vote?
Taha:What duz zat mean?
Reporter:Do u choose your president
Taha:Mubarak?
Reporter:yes
Taha(nervously): i didnt give my voice..but if i was..i will give him my voice
Reporter:Why him?
Taha:Because he was an airoplane in za war..he waz za leadar airoplane
Reporter:But there r no wars right now
Taha:But if we have war..u see?...we know we will have a very good airoplane in it
Reporter:what about the last 26 years ?
Taha:I got marry..and have 3ala2 and Amira..and drive taxi
Reporter:No,i meant what did Mubarak do for Egypt in the last 26 years
Taha:He build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way
Reporter:Thank you very much for ur time Mr. Taha
Taha:No broblem,only 10 bounds
Reporter:I never said i will pay u for this
Taha: Ok..just give me the (job) then..we smoke ,and make head
Reporter:Grrrrrrrr
Taha:ok ok..need a Taxi?

[mmanson]

A foreign Newspaper wants to publish a report about the life in Egypt,So
they send a female reporter to interview the common citizen in egypt..when
she arrives at cairo..she picks a random guy ,and starts her interview

Reporter:Hi
Egyptian:We 3alkom el salam ya 2otta
Reporter:Do u speak english?
Egyptian:Berfect
Reporter:Do u mind if i interview u?
Egyptian:No,i dont have a mind
Reporter:What's your name?
Egyptian:Taha
Reporter:***?
Taha: I love it
Reporter:oh no, i meant male or female?
Taha (yelling): what do u sink?
Reporter:Its just for the sake of the report..never mind...male....
Taha:yas male..and i can brove it any time u want
Reporter:No,thanks,I'll take u for ur word...so..how do u find life here in egypt?
Taha:Egybt..very nice cantry..nice wezar..nice food..byramidz
Reporter:oh well..beside the weather and the pyramids..what else do u like in ur country?
Taha: Byramids,nice wezar,nice food
Reporter:Ok..lets move on..what do u do?
Taha: I am very well ,sank u
Reporter:No,I mean do u have a job?
Taha(looking around him and whispering):Jobat?..no i dont have any (jobat)..lessa mastaba7nash..do u have a (job) with u?..we can esmoke it in my car..dont warry about bolice
Reprter:Oh my god,DO YOU WORK?
Taha:Yas yas..Taxi drivar
Reporter:What do u think about the traffic problem in egypt?
Taha:Very big broblem..very much cars..u see?..but za guvurment is trying to make it bettar..zey did the circle street and za me7war street..and zey make all streets one way so if u go..u cant come back..niahahaha3
Reporter:What about the economic problems in Egypt?
Taha:I do not undurstand what u say
Reporter:I mean..how do u deal with money problems in egypt?
Taha: No NO NO..egybt very rich cantry...we have alot of cotton..alot of water..and we have byramidz
Reporter: So do u make a lot of money?
Taha:No no.. it is not legal to make money..one frend i know make money at home..and he go to brizon..if u make money at home..u can only give it to za banzeena man..they take any money
Reporter: let me rephrase..since Egypt is a rich country.. do u have a lot of money?
Taha:me?! ..Not alot..but I eat and drink Al7amdulelah?
Reporter:Then where does all the money go?
Taha: Guvurment
Reporter:And what does the government do with the money?
Taha:Zey Build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way
Reporter:well , Ok...Do u vote?
Taha:What duz zat mean?
Reporter:Do u choose your president
Taha:Mubarak?
Reporter:yes
Taha(nervously): i didnt give my voice..but if i was..i will give him my voice
Reporter:Why him?
Taha:Because he was an airoplane in za war..he waz za leadar airoplane
Reporter:But there r no wars right now
Taha:But if we have war..u see?...we know we will have a very good airoplane in it
Reporter:what about the last 26 years ?
Taha:I got marry..and have 3ala2 and Amira..and drive taxi
Reporter:No,i meant what did Mubarak do for Egypt in the last 26 years
Taha:He build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way
Reporter:Thank you very much for ur time Mr. Taha
Taha:No broblem,only 10 bounds
Reporter:I never said i will pay u for this
Taha: Ok..just give me the (job) then..we smoke ,and make head
Reporter:Grrrrrrrr
Taha:ok ok..need a Taxi?

waah..nahilo ko dito ah..hehehe

[architect]

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen
her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the
best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was
horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the
exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her step mom to exchange it, but she refused.
"Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm
wearing it," she replied.

Jennifer told her mother, who graciously said, "Never mind,
sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous
dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother,
"Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another
occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm
wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."

[LexTer]

nyahahaha. nanghiram ng dress stepmom nya sa mom nya. :D

[vito corleone]

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter', she says.

A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard !

'That must've been scary', said the teacher.

'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...And before he could say '****', the Rottweiler ate him!'

[navigator2377]

2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.

First Man: How does your wife look like?

Second man : She is 5'7", 36-24-36 ***y figure, fair, sweet, beautiful, green ***y eyes, brown hair, seductive lips... And yours?

First man: Forget mine, let us look for yours...

---------------------------------
Me : I can help looking..

[Hanren]

Telephone Call
(((RING))))
**Pick Up**
"Hello?"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul "
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
Paul."

"Oh yes I do. He's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."

Brief Pause

"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do:Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?" he asked.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the
dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and
he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess
he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit
the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."

***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause**
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??"... Is this 486 -5731??