Joke Time!

[jaykirsten]

PACMAN: "it flash to my nose tree times for they buy dead by too?"

DIONISIA: beri easi. e di ekuals portin!.

getz? walang balikan ng pagbasa.. haha

hindi cya joke pero natawa kasi ako eh. hehe

[jaykirsten]

Teacher: Juan, bakit ba palagi mong napeperfect mga exam?

Juan: bumilib ka na rin sakin maam? MATA ko pa nga lang ginamit ko eh. ano pa kaya kung yung UTAK ko na?

walang hiyang juan

[jaykirsten]

ung di magtitino ang gobyerno at hindi natin maiaply ang natapos nating kurso. ito ang mangyayari:

ENGINEERING - panday
EDUCATION - tambay
CRIMINOLOGY - tanod
PMA - rebelde
MEDICINE - albularyo
IT - bantay sa comp. shop
BS MATH - scorer sa liga
FINE ARTS - pintor ng dingding
PSYCHOLOGY - manghuhula
TOURISM - driver
MASCOM - bugaw
NURSING - yaya
MIDWIFERY - abortionist
MEDTECH - drug pusher
HRM - waiter

eto pa.
ACCOUNTANCY - kubrador!

[jaykirsten]

SA MENTAL HOSPITAL

nagdrawing
ang doctor ng
pinto sa
blackboard.

Doctor: kung sino
ang mauunang
makalabas dito sa pinto
ay makakalabas na dito sa
HOSPITAL!

Nag-unahan ang mga
pasyente! Pero may
isang di tumakbo at ito'y
tumatawa..

Doctor: aba mukhang
magaling na ang isang ito huh!
Matanong nga..
Bakit di ka nakipag unahan
sa pinto?

PASYENTE: eh ABNO pala
yang mga yan eh.. Pano
sila makakalabas eh
nasa akin
yung SUSI..!

[chua_riwap]

^ abnoy nga.......

[nervenllarena]

^ abnoy nga.......

sino? yung joke o yung nagpost?

[piscesboy]

sino? yung joke o yung nagpost?

:hysterical:

[chua_riwap]

sino? yung joke o yung nagpost?

ehrrrrrrrrmmm.......

[EE100shiro]

[EE100shiro]

[Thumbdrive]

[Monseratto]

Never tell the dictator he has a small d*ck...

[ecneret]

meaning mas malaki na ang makukurakot! parang si senador ang naging mas masaya...

[CVT]

Korporasyon na sila.... Family Corporation....

16.0K:dude:

[CVT]

Never tell the dictator he has a small d*ck...

Wanna light my fire?.....

16.0K:dude:

[Thumbdrive]

[EE100shiro]

[Monseratto]

[EE100shiro]

[jrn29]

THIS IS A TRUE STORY read this . this is NOT a JOKE!

A VERY SHOCKING STORY... NAKAKAKILABOT TALAGA... HINDI TO CHAIN MESSAGE O KAHIT ANONG CHORVA...

This is a story from University of the Philippines (Diliman) about a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name was Tiffany. She was hit by a dump truck. She had a boyfriend named Joel . Both of them were true lovers. They always hung on the phone.. You could never see her without her cell phone.

In fact she also changed her network coverage from Smart to Globe, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost and get good network coverage. She spends half of the day talking/texting with Joel. Tiffany's family knew about their relationship. Joel was very close with Tiffany's family. (Just imagine their love). Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass Away please bury me with my hand phone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a Feng Shui Master. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.

After a few minutes, he said "THIS GIRL MISSES SOMETHING HERE". Then her friends told the Master about her intentions to bury her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and placed her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.

Tiffany's parents did not inform Joel that Tiffany had passed away. After 2 weeks Joel called Tiffany's mom and said,

"I'm coming home today. Cook something nice po, ha? Don't tell Tiffany that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.

"Her mother replied... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important."

After he came, they told him the truth about Tiffany . Joel thought that they were playing a fool.. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Tiffany to come out, I have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense".

Then they showed him her grave. Joel said, "It's not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me." Joel was shaking.

Suddenly, his phone rang. "See.. this is from Tiffany, see this..." he showed the phone to Tiffany's family.

All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard their conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the actual voice of Tiffany & there was no way others could use her SIM card since it was nailed inside the coffin. They were so shocked and asked for the Feng Shui Master's help again.

The Master brought his co-masters to solve this matter. He & his co-masters worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing...

GLOBE HAS THE BEST COVERAGE, WHEREVER YOU GO, THEIR NETWORK FOLLOWS...

ANG LAKAS TALAGA NG GLOBE. KAHIT NASAAN KA MAN. KAHIT NASA PURGATORYO KA PA.

KAYA GLOBE NA KAYO NANG KAYO AY NAKAKASIGURADONG MALAYO ANG MARARATING NINYO