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  1. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    736
    #411
    NUN: Mother, I was raped. What shall I do?

    MOTHER SUPERIOR: Here, take this calamansi.

    NUN: Will this ease the pain?

    MOTHER SUPERIOR: Sipsipin mo! nang mawala yang ngiti sa mukha mo! G***!

  2. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    736
    #412
    3 brothers named Bu, Chu and Fu migrated to USA from China.
    They decided to change their name :
    Bu became Buck
    Chu became Chuck.

    Fu decided to go back to China.

  3. Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    81
    #413
    uuuyyyy! nag joke na sya! di ka na galet, pards?

  4. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,772
    #414
    Quote Originally Posted by mact_tors View Post
    uuuyyyy! nag joke na sya! di ka na galet, pards?
    Bakit galit ba si galant E SS?

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,346
    #415
    Quote Originally Posted by mact_tors View Post
    uuuyyyy! nag joke na sya! di ka na galet, pards?
    natawa ako dun kay Fu.......

    alam mo si galant, galit lang yan sa mga kopal.

  6. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,772
    #416
    Quote Originally Posted by chua_riwap View Post
    natawa ako dun kay Fu.......

    alam mo si galant, galit lang yan sa mga kopal.
    walang kopal kopal kapag joke time.

  7. Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    21,656
    #417
    01) Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
    02) Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
    03) Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
    04) Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
    05) Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
    06) Devastation - sakayan ng bus
    07) Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
    08) Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
    09) Tissue - Ikaw nga!
    10) Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
    11) Dedicate - Pinatay ang pusa
    12) Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
    13) Deduct - Ang pato
    14) Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
    15) Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
    16) Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
    17) City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
    18) Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
    19) Persuading - Unang Kasal
    20) Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
    22) Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
    23) It Depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
    24) Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
    25) Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)
    26) Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang tanghalian
    27) Profit - Patunayan mo
    28) Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet
    29) Backlog - bacon saka egg
    30) Beehive - magpakatino ka
    31) CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
    32) Debug - ang ipis
    33) Defrag - ang palaka
    34) Defense - ang bakod
    35) Defer - ang balahibo
    36) Deflate - ang plato
    37) Detest - ang eksamin
    38) Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
    39) Devote - ang boto
    40) Dilemma - brownout!, a!
    41) Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
    42) Forums - apat na kwarto
    43) July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
    44) Liturgy - what comes after litur F


  8. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,346
    #418
    balance sheet.......WTF!

  9. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    736
    #419
    In a court hearing, the victim testified:

    GIRL: Judge, ni-rape po ako don sa library.

    JUDGE: Aba, parang di naman ata kapani-paniwala iha. . . Ang daming tao sa library, di ka man lang sumigaw?

    GIRL: Heller! may nakasulat po kaya, "SILENCE PLEASE" . . .

  10. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    736
    #420
    JUDGE: Ikaw ay inaakusahang may dalawang asawa. Alam mo ba ang parusa sa bigamy?

    LALAKI: Opo. dalawang byenan po. Nagsisi na po ako.

Joke Time!