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  1. Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    605
    #371
    Bata: Mamang pulis, saan po papuntang ospital?
    .
    .
    Pulis: Wag ka aalis dyan sa gitna ng kalye. Mamaya nasa ospital ka na.!
    .
    .
    Bata: Ahh. Salamat po!

  2. Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    605
    #372
    Bembol: Magkano pagupit?

    Barbero: 30 pesos lang po bossing!

    Bembol: Eh, magkano naman ang pa-ahit?

    Barbero: Ay, 15 pesos lang po yun bossing!

    Bembol: Ok sige, paki-ahit na lang ang ulo ko

  3. Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    605
    #373
    anak. tay ang daming lamok

    tatay. patayin mo ilaw para di nila tayo makita!

    (pagkapatay ng ilaw, naglitawan ang mga alitaptap)

    anak. tay! bumalik sila!
    may dalang flash light!!

  4. Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    605
    #374
    Takbong pumasok ng bahay si Totoy. Pagud na pagod, pero masayang-masaya. Nagmayabang pa sa ina.

    "Nay! Nay! Nakatipid ako ng singko pesos."

    "Nakatipid? Paano?" tanong ng nanay.

    "Aba'y 'di ako sumakay ng dyip. Sumabay lang ako ng takbo. Kaya't nakatipid ako ng limampiso!"

    "Bobo ka pala, eh. Kung taxi ang sinabayan mo,
    'Di mas malaki sana ang natipid mo!"

  5. Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    605
    #375
    Si Pedro, nakabasag ng vase sa museum!

    Attendant: hala, more than 500 years na yang vase.

    Pedro: hay salamat, kinabahan naman ako, akala ko bago.

  6. Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    605
    #376
    Teacher: Miguel spell horse!

    Miguel: H...O..

    Teacher: bilisan mo Miguel: H..O...R..

    Teacher: sabing bilisan mo eh

    Miguel: Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig!!!

  7. Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    605
    #377
    May tatlong magkukumare naglalakad sa palengke habang napatawa ang isang kumar1:

    Maria: Hihihi…

    Ester: Bakit mare?

    Maria: Kasi nakakita ako ng itlog, naalala ko si mister…

    Juana: Bakit naman?

    Maria: Kasi ganun kalaki… hehehehe

    Ester: Hehehehe

    Habang sa paglalakad si Ester naman ang napangiti.

    Juana: Bakit ka napnagiti mare?

    Ester: Ksi nakakita ako ng kamatis… naalala ko si mister…

    Maria: Bakit naman?

    Ester: Kasi ganun kalaki!!!

    Maria: Ang laki naman mare…

    Tatlong magkumare: hahahaha

    Habang sa paglalakad uli, si Juana naman ang napangiti:

    Maria: O bakit mare?

    Juana: Kasi nakakita ako ng patatas, naalala ko si mister…

    Ester: Ganun Kalaki?

    Maria: Ang laki naman mare?

    Juana: Hindi… Ganun kadumi

  8. Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    605
    #378
    sa isang camp ng mga sundalo,nkita ng kpitan n me kbyo s loob. tinan0ng nya ang mga sundalo qng bakit me kabayo dun.

    kapitan:bakit me kabayo dito?

    sundalo: kc po pag nkakaramdam po kmi n gusto namin makipag *** ginagamit namin sya.

    kap:ah ok isang gabi naramdaman ng kapitan ng gusto nya mkipg*** kaya kinuha nya ang kabayo at dinala sa tent nya at dun dinali. nkita xa ng mga sundalo at pingtawanan.

    kap:bat kayo tumatawa di ba gnagawa nu rin to.

    sundalo: oo nga po gnagamit namin cla papunta sa bayan at dun kami kumukuha ng babae.

    kap: mga hayop

  9. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #379
    Not sure if this a repost...


    GREAT FACTS
    >
    > Regular naps prevent old age, especially when you take them while driving.
    > Having one child makes you a parent. Having two makes you a referee.
    > Marriage is a relationship wherein one person is always right and the other person is the husband.
    > They said we should all pay our taxes with a smile. I tried but they wanted cash.
    > The human brain functions 24 hours/day, 365 days/year, until you fall for someone.

  10. Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    703
    #380
    A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,
    'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

    'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

    OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.
    But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

    The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea...'

    To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t

Joke Time!