[SIZE=4]A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends
$15,000 & feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a
newspaper. Before
Leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my
asking, but How
old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's & asks
the counter
girl The very same question.

The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a
drug
store on her way down the street. She goes up to the
counter to get some
mints & asks the clerk this same burning question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say maybe 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man
waiting
next to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 79 and my eyesight is going.
Although, when I
was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a
woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to
let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, & only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you
are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until her
curiosity gets
the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go
ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse & begins to
feel around
very slowly & carefully. He bounces and weighs each
breast & he gently
pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together &
rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay.....How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his
hands, &
says, "Madam, you are 50 years old."

Stunned & amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,
how could you tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't," she says.
.
.
.
















.
.
.
"I was behind you at McDonalds."[/SIZE]