Joke Time!

[jick.cejoco]

cats are funny people

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdgt1ZHkvnM]Epic Funny Cats 20 Minutes - YouTube[/ame]

[Retz]

[xninjax]

Suspect: anong gagawin ko attorney, kinasuhan ako ng rape?

Atty: ah, madali lang yan... pasobrahan mo lang ang istorya.

Suspect: ganun?! sigurado ka?

Atty: magtiwala ka iho

araw ng hearing....

Judge: anong ginawa mo sa babae?

Suspect: nag 69 kami, naghelicopter, nag dog-style at marami pa your honor!

Babae: (sumisigaw), DI TOTOO YAN YOUR HONOR!

Judge: case dismissed! di pala totoo eh!

[Retz]

Suspect: anong gagawin ko attorney, kinasuhan ako ng rape?

Atty: ah, madali lang yan... pasobrahan mo lang ang istorya.

Suspect: ganun?! sigurado ka?

Atty: magtiwala ka iho

araw ng hearing....

Judge: anong ginawa mo sa babae?

Suspect: nag 69 kami, naghelicopter, nag dog-style at marami pa your honor!

Babae: (sumisigaw), DI TOTOO YAN YOUR HONOR!

Judge: case dismissed! di pala totoo eh!

Paano ba ung helicopter?

[chua_riwap]

Paano ba ung helicopter?

i-google mo........

[stickers]

[susmaryousef]

[Monseratto]

[stickers]

Mrs. Fisher comes to visit her son Jacob for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Rachel.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Jacob's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Jacob and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Jacob volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Rachel and I are just roommates.' About a week later, Rachel came to Jacob saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure.' So he sat down and wrote an email:

‘Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Jacob’



Several days later, Jacob received a response email from his Mama which read:

‘Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Rachel, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.


Love, Mama’

[stickers]

Isang araw.. may tatlong lalake ang nasa sa jeep.
yung driver, isang guro, at si TOTOY

Nawalan ng kontrol ang sinasakyan nila
kaya nahulog sila sa bangin.

nung nagkamalay ang tatlo, nakatayo
na si san pedro at si satanas sa gilid sa harap nila

SATANAS: dahil napupuno na ang langit, napagkasunduan namin ni san pedro na limitahan nalang ang papasok dito.
kung sino man sa inyo ang makapagtatanong na hindi ko masagutan ng tama, yun ang karapat-dapat makapasok
sa langit. kung masagot ko, derecho kayo sa impiyerno. sinong gustong mauna?

DRIVER: ako!! ako muna!!

SATANAS: ano Ang tanong mo??

DRIVER: anong araw ako unang nag drive

SATANAS: (nag-isip ng konti) august 2 1991

boom... nagliyab at biglang nawala ang driver. sumunod ang guro

GURO: ako naman (nag bigay ng isang napakahabang problem sa math)

nasagutan din ito ng tama ni satanas kaya napunta na rin siya sa impyerno


SATANAS: ikaw naman totoy

TOTOY: hmm... sige kumuha ka ng upuan at butasan mo ng 7 butas

SATANAS: aba inutusan pa ako... pero sige dahil naiintriga ako sa pinapagawa mo kumuha si satanas ng upuan at
nilagyan ng 7 butas.

umupo si totoy at umutot sa upuan...

TOTOY: ang tanong ko sayo... saang Butas ako umutot?

SATANAS: (pinagpawisan) hmmm... sa ikaanim na butas?

TOTOY: mali... sa butas ng pwet ko. Tanga

SAN PEDRO: welcome to heaven totoy.