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  1. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1961

  2. Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    2,449
    #1962
    One day a police officer pulls over a car for speeding. The driver turns out to be a gorgeous blond woman.
    "I`ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma`am.... Could I see your driver`s license and registration...?"
    "License...registration???" replies the blonde.
    "They`re usually in your wallet and glove compartment." says the officer.
    After fumbling for a few minutes, she produces the documents.
    "I`ll be back in a minute," says the cop and walks back to his car. He radios the dispatcher to run a check on the license and registration.
    After a few moments, the dispatcher comes back. "Ummm.... is this a hot-looking blond woman driving a red sports car?"
    "Uh... yes" replies the cop.
    "Here`s what you do...." advises the dispatcher. "Tell her to get out the car, then stand back and drop your pants."
    "WHAT!!? I can`t do that!" exclaims the cop. "Trust me..... just do it...." says the dispatcher. So the cop returns to the blonde, tells her to get out of the car and he drops his pants. The blonde looks down and sighs, "Oh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer...."

  3. Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,711
    #1963
    Quote Originally Posted by vito corleone View Post
    One day a police officer pulls over a car for speeding. The driver turns out to be a gorgeous blond woman.
    "I`ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma`am.... Could I see your driver`s license and registration...?"
    "License...registration???" replies the blonde.
    "They`re usually in your wallet and glove compartment." says the officer.
    After fumbling for a few minutes, she produces the documents.
    "I`ll be back in a minute," says the cop and walks back to his car. He radios the dispatcher to run a check on the license and registration.
    After a few moments, the dispatcher comes back. "Ummm.... is this a hot-looking blond woman driving a red sports car?"
    "Uh... yes" replies the cop.
    "Here`s what you do...." advises the dispatcher. "Tell her to get out the car, then stand back and drop your pants."
    "WHAT!!? I can`t do that!" exclaims the cop. "Trust me..... just do it...." says the dispatcher. So the cop returns to the blonde, tells her to get out of the car and he drops his pants. The blonde looks down and sighs, "Oh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer...."


    breath analyzer na nakatago sa pants, hindi ko lang alam kung ung joke e lilipat dun sa police officer.

    ayon sa http://wiki.answers.com/

    What would happen if you were to blow down a penis?

    Answer:
    ok. if somone were to be dumb enough to do that. the guy would get air bubles in the urine stream thingy. that would put a guy in alot of pain. dont try it.

  4. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1964

  5. Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    5,915
    #1965
    Quote Originally Posted by carlos View Post
    Foster Brooks, The funniest drunk ever, stand up comedians then were so classy, no profanity in their routine.

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1966

  7. Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,012
    #1967
    Anak: Dad, pahiram cellphone.

    Dad: Bakit?

    Anak: May ite-text lang ako. Sige na, sandali lang.

    Dad: Ba't ka ba nagmamadali? Mukang may dinidiskartehan ka 'ah.

    Anak: Oo na, pahiram na ng cellphone, baka makatulog na yun 'e!

    Dad: Kaklase mo?

    Anak: Hinde, ka-schoolmate lang.

    Dad: Mabait ba naman?

    Anak: Hindi ko alam, basta cute.

    Dad: Nako naman anak, hindi pwedeng puro panlabas lang ang titingnan mo. Dapat yung makakasundo mo. Dapat kinikilatis mo muna.

    Anak: 'Eh pano ko makikilatis, 'eh ayaw ako pahiramin ng tatay ko ng cellphone?

    Dad: Oo na, oo na. 'Oh eto.

    Anak: Yun! Thanks.

    Dad: Mukang malakas ang tama mo dyan anak 'ah, hindi mo pa naman masyado kilala. Ano bang una mong nagustuhan dyan?

    Anak: Wala, nakasabay ko lang umihi sa CR, nakita ko ang laki ng bird.

    Dad: Ano?! Anak ng pu..

    Anak: Hahaha joke lang!

    Dad: Loko ka, kala ko seryoso ka 'eh!

    Anak: Hindi, joke lang... hindi naman talaga malaki bird nya 'eh.

  8. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1968

  9. Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    1,442
    #1969

  10. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,610
    #1970

Joke Time!