Why Do Men Get Cold Feet??

[ogpro]

sir ogpro, minsan kasi napakahirap ng window shopping lang

Kung madali, di lahat ng tao santo na. There's a certain sacrifice you make when you make that decision to dedicate your life to someone. It means that person is worth that sacrifice diba? Also, if your "missis" is keeping you happy in all respects, I'm sure yung window shopping na yan superficial lang, it will only make you want to get home to the wifey even more.

I admit mahirap talaga, lalo na ako na laging umuuwi sa pinas na hindi kasama ang asawa, pero kanya kanyang diskarte nalang. Ako lagi ko sinasama ang friends or brother ng wife ko when I go clubbing in manila, hehe, so I'm kinda forced to be good.

Teka, maiba ng konti usapan, I always thought that when girls see a wedding band on a guy, turn off na sila kaagad and won't even try to mess with that guy. I've noticed it's the exact opposite, parang na-challenge pa nga. It makes being "good" so hard. Sheesh.

[margaux]

Ayos yan a sir M54. I have a friend who lost his wedding ring, sa sobrang takot bought a new one and had it engraved, tapos his wife found the old one in his car... :bwahaha:

Mali ka Margaux, di after some time, ngayon palang e may tinutulak na...

Sir oldblue, di na maalis ang hard-to-get sa mga chicks...

*flagg, umm, regarding alin ang tinutukoy mo na may tinutulak na???

[Jun aka Pekto]

sorry *missZ for this OT reply. cant help reacting to sir *Jun aka Pekto's words. like him I'm entering this phase na din. recently, i feel like i'm being held back. right now, i'm particularly sensitive on wife control schemes na directed towards us husbands.

Actually, I'm quite happy right now. Yeah sure. She's got all my money (plus her own), most of our house except the den I'm in right now, and I can't just go anywhere without her permission like visiting home in Nevada or ever setting foot in Oklahoma again. On the flip side, she does take care of me, family, and home. She makes sure there's always food on the table even if it's leftovers. Plus, on any big event or holiday, I'm assured of having a companion/date with me........ That's what married life is all about: settling down and being best friends.

We're not the sentimental romantic types. That's for the birds and a myth. We genuinely like each other's company although we do argue a lot and yet, we do have that unspoken bond.....

Maybe the guy in MissZ's life isn't quite ready yet to settle down. MissZ will have to make decision on whether to be more patient with him or dump him.

I do recall my wife saying,"Marry me or lose me". Nothing like an ultimatum to get me going....... Of course, I married her.

[wren]

sorry to hear missz. you mentioned that you've been living together since february. could it be that he found something(s) he didn't like during this time? ka nga nila, you never really get to know a person until you live with him or her. i hope this isn't the case and he's just going through major insecurities, but if it is, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. it would be worse if you get married and then find out later that you can't live together. but in either case, you deserve an explanation. i hope he's just mulling things over and come to his senses and come groveling back to you. if he does, make him sweat.

[kimpOy]

wow ngayon lang tong thread na to.

Z, mare maybe the guy wasnt for you to be with, remember marriage is not like a hot rice na iluluwa mo pag napaso ka (sorry hirap i translate sa english) if he's only 99% sure then he wont make the cut...

i know only time can heal your wounds but this i say to you
Suffering is optional...you can cry and sob in the corner for all you want but you can stand up and continue your life also...

[margaux]

sorry to hear missz. you mentioned that you've been living together since february. could it be that he found something(s) he didn't like during this time? ka nga nila, you never really get to know a person until you live with him or her. i hope this isn't the case and he's just going through major insecurities, but if it is, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. it would be worse if you get married and then find out later that you can't live together. but in either case, you deserve an explanation. i hope he's just mulling things over and come to his senses and come groveling back to you. if he does, make him sweat.

yeah...:evillaugh ooops...hindi....wag naman masyado...

[skyglider]

he's such a coward... he'll realize din siguro how much important yung pinakawalan nya.

sabi nga di ba "If you love somebody set him free, If he goes back he's for you, If not, it was really never meant to be"

hope things would get better for you. move on girl...

OT: Wow!!! with all the opinions that have been written, tsikoteers are really nice and very romantic persons.

[FrankDrebin]

Ok lang yan. At least it happened before the wedding so you won't have to waste time and money for the divorce procedure. Nakatipid ka pa!

;)

[skyglider]

kung sa tsansingan dept. kayang-kaya ko yan siguro nga i'll need to be more patient.


you know you do make sense. never stop courting 'd wife. somehow i'm getting the idea. kahit na wife mo na, magpapa-hard to get pa din sya at gusto pa din nya nililigawan ko sya. I never realized this before. Thanks!

good luck sir oldblue. ako nga si misis nung after the wedding ko na binilhan ng teddy bear, akala tuloy nung salesclerk eh nanliligaw pa lang ako.

tama si sir flagg, gawain ko din yung tsansingan si misis. minsan din kasi gusto ng mga babae yung "maginoo tayo mga guys pero medyo bastos".

[uls]

Diba pde GF mo nalang forever ang isang girl?

thats the thing about serious relationships... it has to go somewhere. diba pde forever dating? hehe

[skyglider]

i'll cite a recent experience:

recently, napapadalas sa gym si Diana Zubiri. my wife excitedly told me: "hoy, nakita mo ba si diana zubiri? ayan o. ang ***y ***y no! talaga! hmmpfff kunwari ka pa di mo nakita eh pagpasok pa lang natin dun na nakatutok mata mo"

then 2 days later sa gym ulit. my wife got out of the locker and approached me sa treadmill. "kasabay ko si diana kanina sa locker. nagbihis din sya and lahat kami kahit mga matatanda napatingin. grabe pala talaga, lahat ng mga lalaki ma-aatract sa kanya. we saw her with bra and panties lang, and lahat ng parte ng katawan nya ***y talaga! voluptous body! " sagot na lang ako: "ah ganun ba"

then just about 2 days ago "oh bakit nandyan ka pa (pointing to the treadmill), kala ko ba kanina pagod ka na at tinatamad ka mag-gym." then she looked at my front. "kaya naman pala eh, may pang-motivate ka" diana zubiri is in front of me. "o sige aalis na ako, enjoy!" pero nakasimangot. then nagkita kami after ng gym, nakasimangot hanggang sa pag-uwi.

wtf! nagawan na kagad ako ng istorya and to think this diana zubiri person doesn't even know we exist or even fighting coz of her.

lam mo sir oldblue, ganyan talaga mga wife, mahilig mag test yan mga yan kaya ako ginagawa minsan tatawa na lang ako ng malakas, minsan psywar naman ang approach.

Sabihin mo kaya sa wife mo, ano ba nato-tomboy ka na naman kay Diana?

o kaya

Binabantayan lang kita kasi baka ma-inggit sayo si Diana dahil mas maganda ka sa kanya.

Ako kasi nung gf ko palang sya inamin ko na ang crush ko eh si Lilet (Yung kumanta ng "I am future of the world, I am the hope of my nation).

i really cant understand women or wives.

Gusto ko nga mag-sulat ng book na "How to understand wowen/wives" kung wala pa nito.

Baka naman meron na kayo mga fellow tsikoteers, pahiram na lang.

[ILuvDetailing]

When we got married, I told her jokingly while touching her wedding band, "You know what this means? It means you're mine forever."
She took my ring finger and replied in the same manner, "You know what this means? Akin din ang BMW mo!"

hahaha! Natawa ako dito pre.

Hi mommy, be strong. Perfect time for a SOCAL EB Inuman na!! Whatever his reason is give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm not saying what he did was right, but maybe he justs wants time alone to think about this, marriage is a serious matter. I just hope everything goes well.

Why do men get cold feet? Well for me, its the fear of being controlled, the fear of not being able to do what I love to do, ang pinaka ayaw ko sa babae eh yung mga control freak... I admit my mom is like this, kaya minsan kawawa si erpat pero saludo ako sakanya he's a very good person sobrang bait willing to compromise, thats why they've stayed married for around 40 years.

[ogpro]

lam mo sir oldblue, ganyan talaga mga wife, mahilig mag test yan mga yan kaya ako ginagawa minsan tatawa na lang ako ng malakas, minsan psywar naman ang approach.

Sabihin mo kaya sa wife mo, ano ba nato-tomboy ka na naman kay Diana?

o kaya

Binabantayan lang kita kasi baka ma-inggit sayo si Diana dahil mas maganda ka sa kanya.

Ako kasi nung gf ko palang sya inamin ko na ang crush ko eh si Lilet (Yung kumanta ng "I am future of the world, I am the hope of my nation).




Gusto ko nga mag-sulat ng book na "How to understand wowen/wives" kung wala pa nito.

Baka naman meron na kayo mga fellow tsikoteers, pahiram na lang.

Golden rule lang yan, with a twist.

Treat her as you would want to be treated, and she has to subscribe to the same principles. Pero tyo mga guys, mejo mababaw so it takes less for us to be happy. I know I can't buy my wife a golf set and tell her to enjoy her saturdays hehehe, but that's how I would want to be treated. The twist is, us men just need to give a LITTLE more effort and try to be romantic sometimes. Trust me, they're putting a little more effort too in their own way.

[BlueBimmer]

thats why in our wedding ceremony, the Priest asked us in front of all the guests "Gusto nyo talagang magpakasal? sure na ba kayo?" "Baka napilitan lang kayo?"

[BoEinG_747]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 14 (14 members and 0 guests)
BoEinG_747, Imau, bangad, ogpro, jerkky, carfrancis, c0zee, surewin, KoKoNAT, sequoia, Bry, arvic


wow dami active

[carfrancis]

hi sis, so sorry to hear about this.. life's just really unpredictable and even the best relationships have their share of tragic moments. right now, you might not really understand why this had to happen but i'm sure in the coming days things will come to light. Just be strong, pray and hopefully have the clear mind to make the right decision (whether to let go or give it another try) when that day comes.

sir oldblue, natawa ako sa diana zubiri anecdote mo. feeling ko si wifey mo kya sya ganun kse gusto nya na sabihin mo na, "si diana? eh ni sa kalingkingan mo di aabot yan eh. hayaan mo lng xa mapagod magpapansin dyan. wala pa rin sya mapapala sakin." hehehe.. its just a weird way of making lambing, i tell you. :D

[the_wildthing]

I think the guy just didn't want to work to keep the relationship going.

Here's something I got from email (forwarded by no other than my wife. ) para sa lahat ng nagbabasa nitong thread na ito.

THE RIGHT PERSON?


During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"


I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown.

People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the sameituation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy.

And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... not just a feeling.

[empy]

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

dang it...and all this time i thought the key to a successful marriage was ORAL

[jerkky]

for me, cold feet=fear of responsibilities

ako, lumalakad na sa altar nag-iisip pa. hindi dahil sa hindi ko mahal yung tao. pero takot akong hindi ko magampanan ang lahat ng responsibilities of being married and having a family. ang masama don pag hindi ko kinaya, nandamay pa ako ng isang babaeng wala naman ibang gusto kungdi lumigaya.

been happily married for almost 7 years. so na-overcome ko yung fear and tinanggap ko lahat ng responsibilities na ipinataw sa akin.

in toto, good for you missZ na nangyari yan ngayon. kesa naman the night before your wedding saka mo nalaman (magugulat ka the night before ng wedding niyo, makikita mo siya sinusukat wedding gown mo! hehe j/k)

move on, wala kang ibang choice but to move on. mahirap kung sa mahirap. pero kailangan gawin.

[sarahbaby]

"Never stop courting your wife. Never stop dating and never stop reminding her why you love her. Do this every day, and you will have a long and happy marriage."

So...yeah, hangang ngayon niligawan ko pa rin sya. Even tho I know I have her forever. When i remind her of why I love her, it reminds ME too.

sana mabasa to ng bf ko... pano kasi nung naging kami na nabawasan na ung pagka-sweet nya, basta laki ng pinagbago nya.

missZ... sometimes hindi mo alam kung ano talaga gusto ni Lord sa buhay mo, akala mo ok na pero hindi pa pala, for sure he has greater plans for you. Be strong girl...marami kang fans dito...