should i confront her or not? need some advice

[oldblue]

yes. and stop picking gf's from chatrooms too. sa profile pa lang ng girls on chatrooms, di na dapat seryosohin. pero kung trip lang, by all means.

[empy]

give her a chance to explain herself. everyone deserves a chance to tell their side and be heard with an open mind.

if she lies, dump her.

if you're not satisfied with or trusting the explanation, dump her.

if she comes clean but promises not to do it again, it's your decision (and no one but you!) whether you feel you can trust her again. if not, dump her.

but before you dump her, get the buttseks first :banana3:

j/k about that last part

[russpogi]

Bilis ng replies sa thread ah! hehehe!

[nugundam93]

but before you dump her, get the buttseks first :banana3:

best advice evAr! :lol:

[tinky]

Do not keep it bottled up because the longer you wait, the more it's gonna eat you up inside. And believe me, just thinking about it would give you sleepless nights.

Confront her. You may not like what you're going to hear but suck it up. I'm a girl and just by reading your story , it's crystal clear that she's not over him yet.

[Flagg]

Haha! Why am I such a sucker for these kinds of threads?

...We have a may-december relationship.

For curiosity's sake... what's the age gap sir?

...Present:

We are currently more than 2 months into the relationship. 1st month into our relationship, she was kinda not into me that much and she even broke up with me a week na naging kami for vague reasons that she’s not happy anymore and she’s afraid of what people might say against her once they find out about our huge age gap. But she came back to me again coz she misses me...

Immaturity is wonderful... if you're still young...

...Few days ago, she gave me her password for her email account and told me to check an email from her classmate... I found out that she sent her pictures to a lot of guys. There was even one where she needs to send her pic to a guy for the guy to help her on a schoolwork...

Oooh, hot mama! My type of gurl... now that I'm married, that is...

... What’s more surprising was her primary pic, it’s a pic of her with her ex with the ex wrapping his arm around her and the picture was dated around our first month in the relationship. Yes, she’s seeing her ex then and I don’t know now. I even saw her ex’s friendster and his primary pic was the same one....

...I was hurt from what I saw and numerous thoughts and doubts are clouding up my mind right now.

i don't know if i should confront her or wait a few days for new developments.

No, don't... am serious.

...recently she’s been telling me stuff like she’s so blessed to have met me coz I’m way better than her ex and that she have been praying for someone like me to come along and etc. she always compares all my good qualities with her ex's bad qualities. she tells me she loves me so much and we would talk about our future like having kids and family. whenever we're together she's very sweet and very attentive to me and i somehow sense her sincerity(i don't know if magaling lang siya magpretend o sincere talaga) but whenever i looked at her friendster account and saw the pic, doubt would move over lalo na nakalagay pa sa friendster niya ay "married" sa status.

Yes, I would take her actions with a grain of salt from now on... but still, since love mo sya, give her the benefit of the doubt. Yes, it is possible not to be paranoid. Have belief in your gandang lalake-ness.

...What’s the best thing to do right now? I still love her and I’m afraid that she might broke up with me if I confront her but if I don’t confront her about it, I get no peace of mind. Here are some of my questions:

1. Is it safe to assume that she’s coming clean now considering that the pic was dated during the 1st month of our relationship, which she’s not that into me yet, coz of the reason she gave about our age gap?
- No.

Or should I consider more what she said few days after the 1st month that she decided to continue the relationship and not confront her about my findings? If she’s coming clean then why didn’t she remove their pic yet and status is "married"?
- No confrontation.

2. If I confront her about my findings, is there a chance that she would not want to continue the relationship anymore coz she might think that I may not trust her anymore instead of explaining her side to me?
- Yes there is a major chance... and then what do you get out of it? Closure, sir, you will find very overrated.

3. Or should I wait further for any new pics to come up and go from there? - Stalking is not healthy... a lesson for sir GS...

4. Was it wrong on my part to open some of her emails in the sent folder?
- In a perfect world... yes. In our wonderful one... it's not wrong.

... pwede ba niya akong hiritan ng i don't trust her kaya i checked her emails and use it against me to break up para lumabas ako ang may mali although mas malaki mali niya?
- But of course, so don't let her use it against you. Leave it hanging. Just deny looking at anything except her classmate's e-mail.

5. If I decided to confront her about it, is it better to confront her or should I ask the ex instead about the real score between them, maybe the ex will be more honest about it?
- Do not confront and the ex is not worth your time.

Any more advice and opinions will be appreciated.

If I may, sir knight... I opine that your 'December' is a whole season before my 'December-ness', judging by your questions.

With your kind leave, a little knowledge from someone who's been there, done that, as well as a whole lot worse:

1.) You will notice I advice against confrontation.
Your lady love is immature. Confrontation will only make it come out more. Then poof... just you and your hand...

2.) What will confrontation get you?
Either she begs you please, please... or more likely, say: what the hell, there's exie and a whole lot of other boys holding her pics.

Not much in the way of return, 'no?

3.) What to do?
Ah, heartless me again... (allow me to show my age... )

a.) Keep on going. Ignore your jealousy:
You are a man! She is a piece of meat now who must prove herself worthy of you. Yes sir, i am serious. What will she do for you? Will she get down on her knees? Will she act like your car's a yellow jazz? Is the library a wondrous place? You get the drift... we are after returns here. (Oh yeah, better make sure it's wondrous for her, too... a little work on your part) Btw, swallowing... wag masyadong makulit on this matter...

b.) After item a is proven exhaustively... What else is there? After boudoir service... there is domestic service. I don't mean cook & clean house. I mean little things:

She carries the tissues, not you... the pen, not you... when she sees you, a little offering: 1 jamaican pattie, or a stick of fishballs, or even 1 baggie of boy bawang... She is your cigarette supplier... You understand... It is you who must occupy her thoughts. Her main concern in life is YOUR happiness...

c.) Demand (nicely) 90% of her time... I mean it. Just one meal a week with her friends... preferably lunch. (Therefore, you better make time for her...)

d.) Demand (nicely again) to meet her parents. Yes sir, put your best foot forward with them. With parents, there's only one way to go: Money, polite wit, and good manners. They'll be yours.

After items a - d... believe me, you wouldn't even care about confronting her. You know why? You know exactly where she is... all wrapped around your pinky, sir. (Or she could be gone... which is just as well.... but I highly doubt she'd go)

Now remember, always be polite and gentle when demanding the above. Seem concerned about how she feels... look sensitive (kung love mo naman sya, it won't be a pretense)... But make sure all the above are satisfied. Then you will be satisfied. Baka she'll be the one to confess to you, pa.

Don't be a schmuck, and get rid of that schmucky jealousy. It is, you know, one of the 7 deadly sins... Use your head, sir knight...

HTH

Oh yeah, in my opinion... use her then lose her. Ehehe.

[seonadancing]

I'd say leave an open mind and talk to her about it. tell her you saw her friendster account by searching for email or name or something. Whatever happens after that then go on and decide, don't waste your time thinking and getting jealous.

Some women are really manipulative, but i beg to disagree that chatters profile are all the same. I met my fiance through chat and she's no where near manipulative or pretentious.

Buttseks boy, are you by any chance a member of bimmerforums? I saw the same comments there. Very funny indeed.

[wildthing]

If your post is true and not one of those hoax scenario....here is my opinion:

Why worry about that? Hindi mo pa naman asawa yung gf mo di ba?

Haven't you heard the saying "collect and select"....the world evolves because of natural selection...those that survive are those that are aggressive in the selection process....those that are timid will eventually lose in this world...

So why worry....you only have 2 choices to make....fight for your right for that woman or replace her...and both situation is a win-win for you!

[tinky]

Bago niya ako sinagot, she mentioned something about not totally getting over her ex yet and she would sometimes cry kung naaalala niya yung past.

sooo wrong from the get-go.
does she really like you? or on the rebound?

2. If I confront her about my findings, is there a chance that she would not want to continue the relationship anymore coz she might think that I may not trust her anymore instead of explaining her side to me?

why are you so worried about her not trusting you anymore when she's the one who's obviously hiding some dark secrets from you. go ahead and confront her, the sooner, the better.

3. Or should I wait further for any new pics to come up and go from there?

you do love surprises, dontcha?
baka sa susunod wedding pictures na makita mo dun.

4. Was it wrong on my part to open some of her emails in the sent folder? I don’t think I’m wrong coz I’m her boyfriend and she gave me authority to open her email account but I could be wrong. pwede ba niya akong hiritan ng i don't trust her kaya i checked her emails and use it against me to break up para lumabas ako ang may mali although mas malaki mali niya?

you answered your own question my friend.

[Flagg]

OT lang: Hi Ms. Z... long time no see you...