Marrying a Single Mom

**_Cathy_** · April 15th, 2008 05:05 PM

My friends and I have been debating over this and I thought of getting the perpective of guys. If a guy marries a single mom (either widow or had children outside wedlock***), does that mean that the guy will provide for the step children as well?

***Single Mom has zero contact with the father of the step children

Reason why I asked is because my married friend told me that if she gets widowed early she will remarry so that someone coud provide for her and her children. I totally disagree because I don't believe in remarrying. It's just that I don't see men exclusively as providers. If I do get widowed early (hopefully not) then I'd have to raise my children on my own.

**yapoy86** · April 15th, 2008 10:22 PM

well if the guy marries a single mom or widowed mom , he should be ready to accept the mom's situation.. marrying her means marrying everything (person,sons, daughters, problems etc) that comes with the woman..assuming that the guy is responsible, mature person..

assuming the woman has children out of wedlock the woman should maintain ZERO personal contact to the father of her children from first marriage or outside wedlock.. if the father still wants to see his child (since he has the right) he must be able to provide for his children and written agreement should be settled between parties..

if widowed, it is another situation since there is no one to provide for her children since their father is already dead.. if she remarries the guy should accept her situation..

well this is from a guys perspective.. its just a matter of acceptance.. if you cannot accept her situation then do not marry the woman..

**Mguy** · April 16th, 2008 09:23 AM

A single mom is something to take seriously. They usually go through a lot, most of the times alone.

If a guy is dead serious about the girl, he should accept any baggage she carries with her. No ifs or buts. He should accept the kid wholeheartedly as if the kid was his own.

**pitbullz** · April 16th, 2008 09:36 AM

buy 1 take 1 yan hehehe

but your right...men are more than prviders of material comfort...men are made to make women happy :D

**Radical!** · April 16th, 2008 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by Cathy_for_you

Reason why I asked is because my married friend told me that if she gets widowed early she will remarry so that someone coud provide for her and her children.

Personally, I think this is the wrong reason to marry (or re-marry). I have nothing against marrying a single mom. As long as the reasons are right.

my .002 cents

**nostalgia** · April 16th, 2008 10:15 AM

I dont think there is something wrong about being single mom. but her reason for re-marrying is wrong. You don't marry to look for someone to provide for you. She should learn to provide for her kids too. Sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, dapat both husband and wife help each other to provide for their family. di na yung lalaki lang. But if her reason is to find someone so she can have companion, I guess okay lang but looking for a partner to have someone to provide for her and her kids is a no no.

Just my two cents.

**s_quilicot** · April 16th, 2008 10:21 AM

if true naman ang feelings and intentions then why not diba?

**valvura** · April 16th, 2008 12:06 PM

Woman should re-marry out of LOVE...the man should provide step-children out of LOVE of his wife...remember Joseph, the foster father of Jesus Christ?...

**afrasay** · April 16th, 2008 01:09 PM

Package deal yan hehehehe. If for some strange reason the father suddenly reappears then let him visit the kid. He is still the fahter of her kid. There you will know if she really loves you.

**Penny_Lane** · April 16th, 2008 01:31 PM

One of the rules I live by: no complications

**redorange** · April 16th, 2008 02:00 PM

She should marry because of love not because of the money.

My wife was a single and a mom when we met and our daughter(I don't like the word step) is 10 years old and I treat her as my own. My daughter was 7 when I first met her and she does know who her bilogical dad is but considers me her only father. My mom treats her as if she were her "apo" by blood and is spoiled just as any "apo" would be, in fact my mom can't sleep w/o her "apo" by her side.

Funny thing is when we started dating I didn't know she had a child and she was apprehensive to tell me thinking I would leave her. When she told me I told her it was fine by me and had my mom call her to ease her worry and tell her it was not a problem for my family to accept. I don't see children from a single mom as complications, I see them as children who need a father like any other child. Now I have a great 10 year old daughter, a beautiful wife, and in-laws who treat me as their own son.

Just tell your friend to marry for the right reasons.

**uls** · April 16th, 2008 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by Cathy_for_you

My friends and I have been debating over this and I thought of getting the perpective of guys. If a guy marries a single mom (either widow or had children outside wedlock***), does that mean that the guy will provide for the step children as well?

***Single Mom has zero contact with the father of the step children

Reason why I asked is because my married friend told me that if she gets widowed early she will remarry so that someone coud provide for her and her children. I totally disagree because I don't believe in remarrying. It's just that I don't see men exclusively as providers. If I do get widowed early (hopefully not) then I'd have to raise my children on my own.

Eh baka naman dependent ang iyong friend sa financial support ng husband nya?

that's why ganyan sya mag isip

**_Cathy_** · April 16th, 2008 02:54 PM

Mods, I erroneously pressed the quick reply button.

Oo. Housewife siya. She also said that if they break up she will get her half of the guy's assets. Sakin dapat di na siya humati kasi di naman niya pinaghirapan yun eh. Enough na dapat yung support for the children. I have no right to impose my values on her naman.

**uls** · April 16th, 2008 03:31 PM

She will gladly take her husband's half coz by the sound of ur kwento, she's in self-preservation mode.

I wouldnt call her desperate. Just practical.

Pag survival ang pinag uusapan, wala na hiya-hiya or prinsi-prinsipyo.

Kapalan na ng mukha yan.

If a rich guy comes along, she will marry that rich guy.

Miss Cathy, i guess ur totally not on the same wavelength as her that's why iba ang pananaw mo.

By the sound of it, u don't worry about money.

So to you, mas important ang prinsipyo.

**Lucius** · April 16th, 2008 11:06 PM

Hassle talaga may anak ang girl. Pero kung si Lucy Torres kahit 5 pa okay lang sakin

**LexTer** · April 16th, 2008 11:29 PM

kung mahal ng lalaki isang babae. walang problema kahit ilan pa anak nyan.

kaso kawawa si lalaki sa kaibigan mo. seguridad pala habol. hehehe

**iho250** · April 16th, 2008 11:32 PM

Originally Posted by Cathy_for_you

If a guy marries a single mom (either widow or had children outside wedlock***), does that mean that the guy will provide for the step children as well?

definitely!! no questions asked!!

**_Cathy_** · April 16th, 2008 11:33 PM

I do worry about money and as far as I know my friend has way more than I do. I guess we simply differ in values. It's surprising how people could change once money gets involved.

It seems like society is now more accepting of single moms. E howcome my friend who had a child out of wedlock keeps on complaining that no single man will take interest in her? hehe.

**afrasay** · April 17th, 2008 08:29 AM

Maybe she looks at the guy's wallet first before looking at his heart. We guys know and feel that too.

**CVT** · April 17th, 2008 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by Penny_Lane

One of the rules I live by: no complications

Same with me bro.

In our country/society, a marriage is a union of 2 clans. So, even if you're willing and ready,- your family may not be..... This is just me.

That is why I am sincerely happy for you bro. redorange...

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