Loving the wrong person

[_Cathy_]

What if you're single and became friends with the girl/guy of your dreams (in all aspects) who happens to be married but without children. What would you do? Are you gonna continue with the friendship and be tortured knowing that you can't have that person or will you walk out of the friendship and forget about that person?

[mbeige]

Here we go again

Seriously though, if you befriend somebody, do so for friendship's sake and the right reasons, not for anything else. Otherwise, you're just asking for trouble.

That includes accepting them for who they are, not for what you want them to be.

[_Cathy_]

why here we go again? kulit ba ko?

What if your real intention is just to stay friends but cannot help yourself from being attracted to that person? Does that mean you have to stay away na from people that "fit" your dream guy/girl qualifications?

[mbeige]

Cathy, pabiro lang yun. I enjoy reading your posts on love and relationships, makes me understand what women are thinking most of the time

To answer your question, I personally don't think you have to stay away from them, just learn to accept the situation and realize it's just an attraction, and that your friendship is more important, because you can have them longer in your life, rather than reveal yourself to them, only to risk losing a friend.

But if you can't accept that fact, then you need to distance yourself, because you'll be torn every time you get close.

[ghosthunter]

What if you're single and became friends with the girl/guy of your dreams (in all aspects) who happens to be married but without children. What would you do? Are you gonna continue with the friendship and be tortured knowing that you can't have that person or will you walk out of the friendship and forget about that person?

Well, you just mentioned friendship. If you would just let it stay as a friendship, then it would not be a bad thing. But if you let that friendship develop beyond and you start becoming intimate with the guy, then it is wrong... children or no children.

Although since there is no children, getting an annulment is possible and less messy than otherwise.

[uls]

friend? friendship?

Wording lang yan.

How come i get the impression there's ATTRACTION somewhere in the kwento.

[_Cathy_]

But if you can't accept that fact, then you need to distance yourself, because you'll be torn every time you get close.

Yes. Sheer torture.

I feel like it's already a sin to be attracted to a guy that is married. I used to think I have strong values now I am beginning to doubt myself. Siguro kaya minamalas ako (can't get a job and always sick).

[_Cathy_]

friend? friendship?

Wording lang yan.

How come i get the impression there's ATTRACTION somewhere in the kwento.

Actually there is strong attraction. Dream guy nga eh heheh

[uls]

hehe i went thru ur post too fast... di nag register sa utak ko ung "guy of your dreams"

[mbeige]

Yes. Sheer torture.

I feel like it's already a sin to be attracted to a guy that is married. I used to think I have strong values now I am beginning to doubt myself. Siguro kaya minamalas ako (can't get a job and always sick).

If he's attractive, I can't blame you, even more so if the guy is successful. However, what you can be held accountable for, is when you befriend him for the wrong reasons. That's where your values are tested, not at the point of attraction.

Just my opinion...

[_Cathy_]

^^^ Are you a psychic? How did you know that the guy is successful? Kasi naman successful guys are a rareity nowadays (self made hindi asa sa parents).

Honestly I never befriended him because I was attracted to him. I just found myself attracted to him after I got to know him better. I feel like such a big w%*re!

[mbeige]

So it seems you got attracted to him not just because of his looks, but because you found out he is a self-made man. That tells you he will find means to support you in your "what if" scenario...

I'm no psychic, really.

[_Cathy_]

What what if scenario?

Self made, handy man, SUPER patient, mature and maalaga. Rareity talaga.

[mbeige]

You know, since you're attracted to him, you think what if nagkatuluyan kayo, or something. That kind of "what if" scenario, as in your dreams, since he's your dream guy...

[_Cathy_]

Akala ko mistress. hehe. Yeah I daydream about that sometimes but I only end up getting hurt. I wonder if married people get attracted to single people pa rin.

[Jun aka Pekto]

It's an interesting question.

I mean I spent a lot of time girl-watching and that included hot mamas who were married. But, love didn't really figure in any of them because I intentionally kept myself from knowing such women too well. There's some lines that I won't cross. Going after a married woman (even when I was still single) was one such line. It's a no-no, pure and simple.

[russpogi]

I just enjoy reading threads like this! :popcorn:

[_Cathy_]

^^^ Give your opinion na rin on my dilemma hehe

[n2knee]

some questions you have to ask yourself are what does he feel about you? how will your friendship be affected? how much do you value your friendship?

[morrissey_05]

madam,

i think you've idealized that guy too much. he is human and has weaknesses too.

to answer your last question, yes married people can be attracted to single people. but the question is, do you really want him to be attracted to you and risk falling into something you dont want to fall into?

i think it would be better to let the feelings go, but keep the friendship. if keeping the friendship is too hard, let that go na rin.

if you are serious about bringing your relationship to a whole new level, then be prepared for the consequences. but if i were you, and based on my experience, don't cross that line. never.

like jun pekto says, some lines are not meant to be crossed, ever.