HELP: Married but in a dilemma

[FrankDrebin]

Try mo sa ManilaTonight baka may makaintindi.

[valskie01]

Remember your wedding vow..."as long as we both shall live", "until death do us part" .

Wag sanang mapalitan ng "until annulment do us part".

Please stick with your wife.

*Bogeyman,

Ang gaganda ng verses and perfect answers for this thread.

From 1corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,
it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor
others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres.
Love never fails.

Hope this will enlighten you.

[FrankDrebin]

From 1corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,
it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor
others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres.
Love never fails.

Hope this will enlighten you.

[slamtaz]

pero kung katulad niya ang kinahuhumalingan mo, eh panu nga ba? :seesaw:


bwahahahahaha :evillaugh

[cc81352]

Bro, she’s just one of your frustrations kasi nga di naging kayo, baka pure lust lang nararamdaman mo. Be a true friend na lang sa kanya, and try to save your marriage na lang, instead of wrecking two families. Turning sour pa lang naman ung marriage nio eh, pwd-pwede pang gawan ng paraan yan. Sabi nga nila dito…di ka na high school.

[prinsipe]

bro, don't do it.

[j_avonni]

Hindi na pinagiisipan yan.

You are already married. Be a man and stick with your wife.

This is the simplest solution to your problem.

[CLAVEL3699]

think it first man.

Pero kung sa tingin mo you and your wife magiging impyerno buhay nyo pagnagsama kayo at maapektuhan din ang anak nyo siguro its time na maghiwalay kayo pero kailangan ayusin mo muna kalagayaan nila at nang anak mo kasi may responsibilidad ka parin sa kanila.

[real life]

Thanks sa mga nagbigay ng words of enlightenment. Lahat naman ng mga suggestions niyo ay naisip or iniisip ko. But the point is, what if hindi mo na talaga mahal spouse mo. What if you are doing your darnest best to bring back the feeling but its really gone. Its sad but this things do happen in REAL LIFE. Minsan naiisip ko rin kung bakit nandyan at ginawa pa yung "legal system" About my young daughter, kahit anuman mangyari hindi ko naman siya pababayaan. The fact remains na bago ko pa ma meet ulit yung friend ko, I already have this dilemma. Its as if I'm just always going through the motions na lang.

About my friend, I've searched my feelings for her and I'm pretty damn sure its NOT LUST. But the thing is minsan hindi ko talaga alam status ko sa kanya. Minsan she's sending mixed signals din kasi kaya its best for me to enumerate yung mga instance not because "kinikilig" lang ako when I read them but para maintindihan ng mga mag-popost or mag susuggest if ever.

The next time she comes back in a few months time I'm planning to reveal to her all what's in my mind including what I feel for her.

[_Qwerty_]

"what if hindi mo na talaga mahal spouse mo"....

hmmmm pare.. bakit mo pinakasalan kung hindi mo mahal?? ibig mo sabihin dati mahal mo?? ngayon hindi na?? tsk tsk tsk

[GasJunkie]

*mhm mhm*

Getting her pregnant would be the only solution.




:fly:


Edit excuses are for :tards:



Dvorak sorry didn't see your post

[mazdamazda]

If don't have the same feelings with your wife as before then would you...

prioritize your happiness and give in to your current feelings about your friend. The consequence of which is that you'll be separated with your wife & your child will be brought up in a broken family - the same goes with your friend's family.

or

continue to work things out with your wife for the sake of your family.

Nobody said that married life is easy nor it is only valid until your feelings subside down. You should have gotten over already the "kilig" factor of new relationships and instead moved on to maturing & nurturing further your relationship.

And if you are a Christian, just think always: What would Jesus do?

[oldblue]

I'm a longtime member but i forgot my username kaya't new member ulit. I've posted this thread in another forum but all i got was a bashing. I want to know mga suggestions naman from a different point of view naman. My story goes like this....

I had along time friend who recently came back to my life . I had been an ardent suitor of hers during our school days, unfortunately, hindi naging kami. Well siguro hindi pa tapos yung chapter na iyon sa buhay namin dahil after 15 years and now that we’re both married we became close friends. Although she works abroad, we always see to it na magkita kami when she’s in town. We go out on casual dates, and the two of us even went to tagaytay last time. We are now in a similar situation. It seems both of our marriage turned or is turning sour. Although she’s in a more dire strait situation dahil hindi na halos sila nagkikita ng hubby niya and she wants freedom from him na. My situation naman is that medyo na-pressured lang ako to get married and now I’m feeling the consequences of it all.

The thing is, I’m madly falling for her once again. I know its for real. I just don’t care if she’s married and has 2 kids na. Here’s the situation I’m in now.


* The last time we went out, kinuwento niya sa akin true status of her married life, that she wants out of her marriage. She added that if only she could turn back time, she wouldn’t had married her philandering husband. I too confessed to her about the “secret” status of my married life. I, too want out. Although di ko naman sinasabi na siya ang reasons dito. I just think that somehow she doesn’t believe my story. Her actions tell that.

• During the holidays I sent her a card somehow signifying my “intentions” . I said that no matter what, Ill always be there for her. And that I’ve many things to say to her, I just dunno how to say it. She replied thru email that she was very touched with my message and her parting words was “ DO YOU MEAN EVERYTHING”. Is she trully interested din ba?

• Recently during the course of our txt exchange, regarding pa rin dun sa mga touching messages ko, part of her message was “ YOU CONFUSE ME…. IF ONLY… " What does she mean by this?

• I replied by telling her that I have so many things to say sana regarding my true feelings for her. Its just that I’m just too afraid of its consequences. How it might affect our friendship and eventually losing her after it. She stressed that when she comes back she wants us to personally talk all about it.


**just received this from her thru overseas txt ; "hi kumusta, alam mo napanaginipan kita last nite, In my dream, my mom asked me to live with you. She's giving me the assurance that you can love me more dan (name of her hubby), sabi ko nga sa mom ko both of us are married now kaya di na pwede tapos sabi niya ok lang daw yun... weird noh"

women they're so unpredictable. what could this new msg from her symbolize

**
I’m at a lose right now. Ito na kaya ang chance ko para maging kami? Or are we meant just to be “close friends”? Should I say everything how I feel for her or just let it as it is na lang? If only I can read her mind.

although meron sort of excitement dyan sa nararamdaman mo, bigger mistake yan balikan mo ex mo. kung gagawa ka din naman ng adventure, make sure dun na sa bagong kilala at syempre dapat single.

parang pang magkakakuntsaba yun mom nya saka sya by texting that. here's one rule in life, if you find yourself getting double-teamed in a mom + love interest tandem (kahit ba symbolism lang yun), get out as fast as you can!!! trust me!!!!

although my words will definitely fall in dear ears sa'yo coz you're in that particular point na focused ang attention mo sa kanya, i can offer you a consolation. mag one night stand or siguro one week affair na lang kayo.

but dont get attached or committed. and dont feel sorry for her husband too, bec. right now I dont think he deserves her.

[Bogeyman]

About my young daughter, kahit anuman mangyari hindi ko naman siya pababayaan.

That's from a material/financial point of view.

But how about emotionally? Spiritually? Have you ever considered how hellish it would be for her to suffer a broken family at her age? Will you be the one to go to school every day and endure the taunts of her classmates? The pitying stares of her teachers? Will you be the one to feel envious of other children, who come with their moms and their dads on every family activity? Will you have the money to post her bail someday when she gets into trouble as a result of her resentment over what you did? We're only talking about your kid; what about hers as well?

Sure you think you've got everything planned out. But can both of you honestly, HONESTLY, say that you can speak for your respective children in this matter? Speaking of which, have you even tried talking to them about it, find out what they think?

Hindi ko naman pababayaan yung anak ko eh. That's what they all say when the offspring are still young. Yet the children grow up and grow old, hating their parents anyway.

And to think that adults are supposed to know what's best.

[oldblue]

Thanks sa mga nagbigay ng words of enlightenment. Lahat naman ng mga suggestions niyo ay naisip or iniisip ko. But the point is, what if hindi mo na talaga mahal spouse mo. What if you are doing your darnest best to bring back the feeling but its really gone. Its sad but this things do happen in REAL LIFE. Minsan naiisip ko rin kung bakit nandyan at ginawa pa yung "legal system" About my young daughter, kahit anuman mangyari hindi ko naman siya pababayaan. The fact remains na bago ko pa ma meet ulit yung friend ko, I already have this dilemma. Its as if I'm just always going through the motions na lang.

About my friend, I've searched my feelings for her and I'm pretty damn sure its NOT LUST. But the thing is minsan hindi ko talaga alam status ko sa kanya. Minsan she's sending mixed signals din kasi kaya its best for me to enumerate yung mga instance not because "kinikilig" lang ako when I read them but para maintindihan ng mga mag-popost or mag susuggest if ever.

The next time she comes back in a few months time I'm planning to reveal to her all what's in my mind including what I feel for her.

you cant bring back the feeling for your spouse bec. you're thinking of another replacement (be it your ex or another dream girl). i think that's LUST. sorry for being frank.

the only time you'll realize that you genuinely dont really love your wife is when you're ready to live and to survive alone.

[tsupermario]

My situation naman is that medyo na-pressured lang ako to get married and now I’m feeling the consequences of it all.

pressured? like how?

[claRkEnt]

you cant bring back the feeling for your spouse bec. you're thinking of another replacement (be it your ex or another dream girl). i think that's LUST. sorry for being frank.

the only time you'll realize that you genuinely dont really love your wife is when you're ready to live and to survive alone.

Good point! Actually, when you started this thread, it's a proof you still had some doubts in your mind. You won't be asking other people's opinion if what you will be doing is right or wrong. And i read that you have posted the same in other fora before. SO, di talaga buo ang conclusion sa mind mo na di mo na mahal wife mo. There wouldn't be any DILEMMA if there isn't any iota of feelings for your wife and kid(s).

Professional counselling would be a solution to mend the situation. Sometimes, doing it on our own won't work.

[Linkk]

hanggat maaga pa umiwas ka na lang, just think of the consequences. di mo na maitutuwid pa ang mga mangyayari pag ginawa mo yan.alam ko naooverrwhelm ka lang sa nararamdaman mo ngayon, you're confused dahil iba ang sinasabi ng nararamdaman mo sa sinasabi ng utak mo.humihingi ka ng payo dito para malaman kung susundin mo ba sinasabi ng puso mo o sinasabi ng utak mo. kaya karamihan ng sagot dito ay gamitin mo utak mo dahil iyun ang nararapat.

[mayana]

to real life:
I'm quoting a quote with some alterations.
[SIZE=3]"A wife is like your favorite car. Exciting when new; depressing when broken; boring when old and used. But in the end, you realize, “It’s a classic!”[/SIZE]

[Picard]

to real life:
I'm quoting a quote with some alterations.
[SIZE=3]"A wife is like your favorite car. Exciting when new; depressing when broken; boring when old and used. But in the end, you realize, “It’s a classic!”[/SIZE]

Very well said!