College grad, have work...but still living with their parents?

[gongrhey]

Common rule ito karamihan ng mga parents. Nung nasa marrying age na kami laging binabanggit ng tatay ko na once you got married go on your own. Pabor naman sakin para makaiwas ng gulo at yun ang ginawa ko. Ganun din siguro rule ko sa mga anak ko in the future.

[fourtheboys96]

Would you be one?

Would you agree with it? Curious lang ako...

Napansin ko lang kasi na parang sa mga pinoy napaka-common nito or normal ng ganitong case. I'm really amazed

I left my father's house even before I graduated after I landed a job. The only time I went back for temporary shelter was a few years after graduation and I had a "jobless" three month period. Pero after I got a job, I immediately left the comfort of our house and lived on my own. I never approved kasi na maging pasanin pa ng magulang ko when I was already a graduate and earning my own money.

Life was not that easy though (budgeting a small salary for rent, food, pang gimmick) at the start but it way better than some of my friends na sheltered pa rin even after they got married.

Umalis ka nung may trabaho ka. Tapos bumalik ka ng maging jobless ka. In short, "PASANIN" ka. Aalis pag may pera, babalik pag wala.

Kung ayaw mong maging pasanin, dapat hindi ka bumalik noong jobless ka. or noong may trabaho ka, nagcontribute ka sa house expenses. tsk tsk tsk.

[Phoenix67]

Umalis ka nung may trabaho ka. Tapos bumalik ka ng maging jobless ka. In short, "PASANIN" ka. Aalis pag may pera, babalik pag wala.

Kung ayaw mong maging pasanin, dapat hindi ka bumalik noong jobless ka. or noong may trabaho ka, nagcontribute ka sa house expenses. tsk tsk tsk.

Very true...but to explain further, the whole scenario was this: i was already paying for my school tuition and daily needs in the last two or three years at the university until I graduated (tricycle driver on sat and sat - we own the trike) student ng mon-fri. While finishing my thesis in the last year at university, I managed to land a sales job. Kaso after 9months on that work, my adviser warned me that ibabagsak niya ako if i do not finish my manuscript that semester...so no choice, I resigned...finished my manuscript at nagmarcha ng abril. During that time na "jobless" ako, balik weekend trike driver ako. Also while waiting for the next job (puro application lang at interviews pa kasi)....that was the 3 months that I stayed home.

Of course pag nasa bahay ako, patakpatak kami ng utol for food and utilities...erpat ko nung time na yun ay retired na...he has his pension for his needs and although I was staying at home, I was neither a bum nor an ingrate!

Most of the job I got are not based in Manila...so it was really pretty stupid kung uwian pa ako ng manila even on weekends...why not stand on my feet.

An tanong ko sa 'yo ... Did you have that same guts at an age of 21?

[Phoenix67]

I see, if you do like your status today, well and good,
Kung willing ka ganyan din magiging anak mo sayo in the future, mas okei

Do your parents a favor, kung ayaw mo na puder nila, tulungan mo nalang sa bills,
Tumatanda nadin sila. Hehe. I have a spot for parents.

Oh yes...I hope my kids would be like me ... we are slowly teaching them like that (living and deciding on their own).

BTW, my mom died very early on (college pa ako). My dad also died last year...I practically supported his financial needs (hospitals and everything until his burial) and even ang pagpapamanage ng puntod nila

For me, I'd rather take care of myself and my wife when we get old rather than i-asa sa anak namin yun. If they do help us out .... then it is much appreciated with gratitude...BUT I have no intention of requiring them to do so.

I would be MORE than happy na if they become independent very early and maintain to live that way until the rest of their remaining lives.

[Phoenix67]

eh kung babae anak nyo. at 21, newly grad w/ work, single, payag ba kayo hiwalay ka'gad sa inyo?

YES, I (we) would! In fact, that is how I am psyche-king my eldest (na babaeng anak) na currently freshman ngayun! She's staying sa dorm, commutes back home on weekends by her own (whenever possible).

If she (as well as her siblings) can do it at that age and be successful...I would be one satisfied dad...alam kong tama ang ginawa naming pagpapalaki sa kanya/kanila!

BTT this thread/query is not about me...I just wanted to know the views and actual experience of most of the forumers here.

[Phoenix67]

I didn't know na yung living arrangement signifies independence na sa work? Marami naman na may sariling condo pero paid for by the parents or did you mean the training of living independently helped you become a better employee?

Do you have a good relationship with your Dad ba? Autocratic style ba siya?

Dad ko ayaw ng magaaral kami malayo sa bahay kasi pag nag dorm masyado nagiging independent ng maaga. It's good training for others pero may iba naman nagiging maloko.

Kaya pala gusto mo ng "freedom" kasi puro kalokohan ginagawa mo ORGY? DRUGS?

This is so true. I try my best not to do anything that will cause problems or give heartache to my parents. I hope when I have children din they will do the same for me.

I will not be a hypocrit...yes i did all those ... I enjoyed trying it but i had a better brain and control than you percieve. Mas nakakatakot ang mga taong repressed (haven't explored their limits) because when they break (which everyone will somehow) sila yung hirap maka-recover. Sila yung mga nagiging "late bloomers". Sila yung hindi na nagiging successful sa buhay at laging miserable. Sila yung takot magfail, so they would choose to become mediocre.

I was in a supervisory positon at the age of 22...because after my boss learned about my life outlook and experience, she knew I can handle people much older than me. In fact, kahit ngayon, pagnaghahire ako ng mga tao ko, mas gusto kung mga marunong tumayo sa sarili nila at their age. Alam ko kasing mas magaling dumiskarte ang mga yun pag merun decission na kailangang independently nila dapat gawaan ng paraan.

[shadow]

kung mahal niyo mga asawa niyo lalo na tayong mga lalake, pag inasawa niyo na umalis na kayo ng bahay please lang! maawa kayo sa misis niyo!

kahit anong bait ng mommy niyo, if you stay with your parents...never magiging queen ang misis niyo....sinasabi ko na sa inyo maawa kayo..sa inyo walang problema kasama niyo parents mo dahil buong buhay kasama mo but for your wife..it will be a big adjustment...

kung ako babae at yun asawa ko eh ititira ako kasama ng parents niya...di bale na lang!

[badkuk]

Sir TS,
you say this thread isn't about you, that you just wanna get views and experiences...yet you did say:

I was in a supervisory positon at the age of 22...because after my boss learned about my life outlook and experience

An tanong ko sa 'yo ... Did you have that same guts at an age of 21?

That one comment seemed more malicious than curious to me.

[badkuk]

Sorry, had tofind a power outlet :p

Come to think of it, why would you still need to get views and experiences of others, to help you form an opinion?

It seems to me you've already formed an opinion of others - i.e. the ones who still live with their parents - aka those who will never succeed and have chosen to be mediocore.

[Chikselog]

Bottomline is iba iba ang tao. Things happen to them for a reason. May mga taong sobrang aga naging mature ng pag-iisip dahil sa mga nangyari sa buhay nila. Ikaw TS naging ganyan ka dahil sa mga pangyayari sa buhay mo. Obviously magkakaiba tayo and nobody can tell kung magiging successful o hindi sa buhay yung mga taong living with their parents. Honestly, nagmumukhang nagbubuhat ka lang ng sarili mong bangko, the way I see it.