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  1. Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    1,135
    #1701
    Quote Originally Posted by brainmafia_310 View Post

  2. Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    4,509
    #1702
    Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
    youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

    The defense attorney nearly died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

    'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

  3. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    21,586
    #1703
    Ito great joke din.

    Get ready to scrap your car?s license plates| BusinessWorld Online Mobile

    Milyon din nga naman kita dyan nang supplier at kung sino man backer niya and somebody else up there na may connection sa kalokohang ito.
    Last edited by Ry_Tower; July 17th, 2013 at 06:17 PM.

  4. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1704

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,610
    #1705
    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

    "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants ***, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

    To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1706

  7. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1707

  8. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #1708


    :pirate2:

  9. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1709

  10. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1710



Joke Time!