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  1. Join Date
    Nov 2009

  2. Join Date
    May 2010

  3. Join Date
    Sep 2009
    A woman decided to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.
    She spends $15,000.00 and feels pretty good about the result.
    One her way home, she stops at the news stand to buy a newspaper.
    Before leaving, she says to the clerk,
    "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
    "About 32," she replied.
    "Nope! Im'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

    A Little while later she goes into Mc Donald's and ask the counter girl the very same question.
    The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
    The woman replies with a big smile,
    "Nope, I'm 50."

    Now she's feeling really good about herself.
    She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
    She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
    The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
    Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

    While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
    He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.
    Although when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
    It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
    Then, and only can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

    They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.
    She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
    He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
    He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.
    He pushes her breast together and rubs them against each other.

    After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay.... How old am I?"

    He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,

    "Madam, you are 50".

    Stunned and amazed, the woman says,
    "That was incredible, how could you tell?"

    The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

    "I promise I won't" she says.

    "I was behind you at Mc Donald's!."

  4. Join Date
    Oct 2011

  5. Join Date
    Oct 2010

  6. Join Date
    Apr 2008

  7. Join Date
    Oct 2011

  8. Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Quote Originally Posted by Retz View Post

  9. Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Quote Originally Posted by joemarski View Post


    penis broken. please use finger or tongue. thanks

  10. Join Date
    Oct 2010

Joke Time!