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  1. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1171

  2. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    456
    #1172
    A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment, "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
    On the way to the office, he regretted what he have done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and endorsed the following typed note:
    "Dear Madam,
    Enclosed please find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
    1 - IT HAD NEVER BEEN OCCUPIED
    2 - THERE WAS PLENTY OF HEAT
    3 - IT WAS SMALL ENOUGH TO MAKE ME FEEL COZY AND AT HOME.
    However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there was not enough heat and that it was entirely too large."
    Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:
    "Dear Sir,
    First of all,
    1 - I can't understand how you could expect A BEAUTIFUL APARTMENT TO REMAIN UNOCCUPIED INDEFINITELY.
    2 - As for the heat, there's plenty of it, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT ON.
    3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FURNITURE TO FILL IT IN, please don't blame the management.
    Please send the rest in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlord.”

  3. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1173
    ^

    naloko na.

  4. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    3,754
    #1174
    Quote Originally Posted by carlos View Post
    A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment, "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
    On the way to the office, he regretted what he have done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and endorsed the following typed note:
    "Dear Madam,
    Enclosed please find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
    1 - IT HAD NEVER BEEN OCCUPIED
    2 - THERE WAS PLENTY OF HEAT
    3 - IT WAS SMALL ENOUGH TO MAKE ME FEEL COZY AND AT HOME.
    However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there was not enough heat and that it was entirely too large."
    Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:
    "Dear Sir,
    First of all,
    1 - I can't understand how you could expect A BEAUTIFUL APARTMENT TO REMAIN UNOCCUPIED INDEFINITELY.
    2 - As for the heat, there's plenty of it, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT ON.
    3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FURNITURE TO FILL IT IN, please don't blame the management.
    Please send the rest in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlord.”
    langyang pok pok yan naka blackmail pa

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    456
    #1175
    A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

    At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something, "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "it’s really spoiled my need for food."

    Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."
    "Well," she says, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm bloody starving!”

  6. Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    26,770
    #1176

  7. Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    5,010
    #1177
    Quote Originally Posted by Sugar_Kane View Post
    Yung jeepney sa harapan ko kanina, nakasulat sa likuran. Sa mudguard ba yun? I wanted to take a picture nga, my Mom and I were laughing so hard!



    s isang dyipni:

    hindi sa nais na pigilin, subalit iyang utot ay masamang hangin.

  8. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #1178


    Mona Lisa - Kuwait
    Last edited by joemarski; April 23rd, 2013 at 07:38 PM.

  9. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    195
    #1179
    Quote Originally Posted by Retz View Post
    that's not funny, it's so cute!

  10. Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,868
    #1180

Joke Time!