Joke Time!

[joemarski]

http://f1208.mail.vip.ne1.yahoo.com/...Inbox&inline=1


( Don't ask me! I don't know how it's done!!)

[Retz]

[Monseratto]

[Retz]

[jick.cejoco]

teacher: do you know that your anus and your eyes nerves are connected?
student: how so sir?
teacher: it is called an optic-ass nerve.
student: how are they connected?
teacher: if you pull hair out of your ass, tears fall off your eyes, that's how they are connected

[Retz]

[joemarski]

Love the Irish Logic... Mad Cow Disease

You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.

In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for
an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter...

The interview was as follows:

The lady reporter: “I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease.
Can you offer any reason for this disease?”

The farmer stared at the reporter and said…

“Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?”

Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): “Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between
this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”

Farmer: “And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?”

Reporter: “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?”

Farmer: “I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day....
And only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?”

THE TV INTERVIEW WAS NEVER AIRED... :lolabove:

[Retz]

[joemarski]

:congrats:

[Retz]

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[Retz]

[joemarski]

[Monseratto]

Little Johnny

Teacher asks the kids in class, "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"

Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, go to the most expensive
clubs, take the best bitch, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in
Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel around the world, an
Infinite visa card and make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the
child decides not to give importance to what he said and continues the
lesson.

"And you, Tanya?"

"Ma'am, I want to be Johnny's bitch!!"

[jick.cejoco]

mom, dad and a little boy on a leisurely drive saw a male dog and a female dog going at it. the little boy, a little bit curious, asks the mom "what are the dogs doing mom?" the mom quickly answers :"they're making a puppy".
at home late at night, the little boy enters the room where mom and dad were having missionary position ***, the little boy curious as ever asks:"mom, dad what are you doing?"
dad answers,"we're making your little brother".
the boy tells dad "dad, turn mommy around, i want a puppy"

[Retz]

[xninjax]

Kapag guwapo ang tumingin sa babae, ang tawag sa kanya eh CHICKBOY.

Kapag pangit ang tumingin sa babae, ang tawag sa kanya eh MANYAK.

Kapag ang sumunod sa babae ay gwapo, ang tawag sa kanya eh SECRET ADMIRER.

Kapag ang sumunod sa babae ay pangit, ang tawag sa kanya eh STALKER.

Kapag ang ngumingiti ay guwapo, ang sabi nila eh FRIENDLY.

Kapag ang ngumingiti ay pangit, ang sabi nila eh BASTOS.

Bakit ganoon?

Ito ba ang tinatawag na FACIAL DISCRIMINATION?

***

Kapag guwapo ang nag-two time, ang tawag sa kanya eh PLAYBOY.

Kapag pangit ang nag-two time, ang tawag sa kanya… MAKAPAL ANG MUKHA!


***
Kapag pangit si BF at maganda si GF, ang tawag diyan… DISKARTE.

Kapag pogi si BF at pangit si GF, ang tawag diyan… GAYUMA.

Kapag pogi si BF at maganda si GF, ang tawag diyan… TADHANA.

Kapag pangit si BF at pangit din si GF, ang tawag diyan… SUMPA!