Why Do Men Get Cold Feet??

[tinky]

I thought we we're heading that way..................




We've been engaged since February and we decided to move in together after the proposal.Things were going great until last night.

We were having dinner when out of the blue he told me that he's calling the wedding off. I thought it was just one of his stupid pranks that he pulls on me every now and then so I just ignored him. He kept quiet for about a minute or so and then he brought it up again.He said he had been thinking about moving out and would like to think things over. He looked me dead in my face and told me that he loves me so much but he is not sure If I am the person that he would like to share the rest of his life with. He was telling me that all he need is some time away from me. He doesn't know how long it would take, 2 days, 2 months, 2 years ....only God knows how long...

Some of you would ask me if I ever saw a sign. I wish I did but it happened so fast.I never saw it coming.

In the meantime all I could do is just sit, cry, and pray that one day, this man would show up at my doorstep and ask me again to marry him.

[the_wildthing]

I'm sorry to hear that, missZ.

Maraming rason. Maaring natakot siya. Yung sinasabing "afraid of commitment". And then you said, you moved in together, so it could be na na-isip niya na ayaw nya nung ganun for the rest of his life. But I don't know him so I'm just venturing a guess.

To be optimistic about it, you probably deserve someone better.

[oldblue]

hmm... that's so ..... direct. I wish I had his courage.

kidding aside, baka naman prank din yan. but this time, the prank will take longer (in a matter of days) tapos isang matinding surprise to the max. a new house maybe ...

anyways, just cheering you up. sabi mo nga he's that kind of person mahilig sa surprises/pranks. give it a day or two ...

[margaux]

hey, the only thing I can say is that the guy has a problem. A matter of choosing something that would be really important for him and for his future. And the cause might be fear. He might be afraid of commitment and never get out of it. Or maybe he's in a situation wherein he doesn't want you to get involved with it. If he loves you that much then he is just keeping you away from something that might hurt you. But if he said he wanted to make sure if you'll be the right person for him, then it's possible that a third party is entering the story. Just pray and whatever happens God will always make you understand why things had happened this way. Be strong.

[Rediesel]

commitment. Sometimes men needs to think about it really hard, mas mahirap namang pag married na kayo dun siya makakahanap ng iba.

Ika nga kasabihan sa atin sa Pinas kung ukol bubukol. Try to think it over kung bumalik siya, gugustuhin mo pa ba ang lalaking ganito ang ugali, Siguro its a sign that both of you might not be compatible in the long run.

Married life is such a complicated matter, everything is a bed of roses UNTIL the kids comes along then the bills then family problems, thats where you will be tested kung talagang mahal mo siya, men by nature titingin at titingin sa iba yan, kahit pang ms universe ang beauty mo eventually titingin sa iba yan.

Maybe just maybe meron siyang nakitang iba ngayon.

[empy]

sorry to hear

speaking only for myself, getting cold feet is a sign of fear. fear of many things - making a big mistake, knowing my own feelings, the cost of the wedding (j/k!!)....and maybe a little bit of cowardice as well.

sometimes we men come to our senses and come back (and hope it's not too late). but other times, it's better that you're not wasting your time and tears on us.

[Jun aka Pekto]

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Why Do Men Get Cold Feet??[size=1]

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-The fear of the leash being too tight.
-The fear of losing our carefree ways.
-The fear of her having two sides like a coin. While engaged, she's an angel. After the wedding, she transforms into a female tyrant.

-The fear of life as we know it ending only to be replaced by predictability and humdrum.

Went through all the above. As soon as my wife arrived here, she took charge and before I knew it, I was on an awfully short leash. But, meh. I'm taken and kept.

[nugundam93]

sana nga prank lang yan with matching super-lupit uber-cool suprise.

we're all hoping na things will go in your favor, missZ.

[Rediesel]

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-The fear of the leash being too tight.

-The fear of her having two sides like a coin. While engaged, she's an angel. After the wedding, she transforms into a female tyrant.

Natumbok mo kapatid !!!

Hindi umiimik nung mag syota palang kayo pero nung maging asawa mo di lang BUNGANGERA BASAGULERA pa.

[ogpro]

Wow...sorry to hear that. Might I ask how long you were dating before getting engaged?

[basti08]

sorry to hear that, missZ....

give him time if that's what he wants.

naalala ko sabe ng mom ko ... bago daw sila ikasal ng dad ko... kabadong kabado sila... di sila pareho nakatulog, parang di na raw nila gusto ikasal... they didnt know that the feeling was mutual until after the wedding.

ganun daw pala yun. wish you courage sa situation mo right now.

[oldblue]

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-The fear of the leash being too tight.
-The fear of losing our carefree ways.
-The fear of her having two sides like a coin. While engaged, she's an angel. After the wedding, she transforms into a female tyrant.

-The fear of life as we know it ending only to be replaced by predictability and humdrum.

Went through all the above. As soon as my wife arrived here, she took charge and before I knew it, I was on an awfully short leash. But, meh. I'm taken and kept.

almost broke into tears after reading this. I can relate. especially this one:

-The fear of her having two sides like a coin. While engaged, she's an angel. After the wedding, she transforms into a female tyrant.

sorry *missZ for this OT reply. cant help reacting to sir *Jun aka Pekto's words. like him I'm entering this phase na din. recently, i feel like i'm being held back. right now, i'm particularly sensitive on wife control schemes na directed towards us husbands.

[empy]

if this is a prank then i don't know any girl who would find it funny. i hope he has more sense than that.

[margaux]

almost broke into tears after reading this. I can relate. especially this one:





sorry *missZ for this OT reply. cant help reacting to sir *Jun aka Pekto's words. like him I'm entering this phase na din. recently, i feel like i'm being held back. right now, i'm particularly sensitive on wife control schemes na directed towards us husbands.

dapat kasi magpakatotoo lahat noh... kasi naman.....you'll really know the true colors of your partner kapag tumagal na kayo ng sobra..

[Flagg]

Huh?! I thought you were married na, ms. z?

I've seen countless similar situations and the cold feet was not just limited to men (majority though, tayong mga lalake).

IMHO, it is basically the sudden realization that marraige involves certain responsibilities. You can count yourself lucky that he was suddenly courageous enough to acknowledge that he could not perform these responsibilities.

Mind you, these responsibilities are not just financial. To include another person in your life means numerous compromises to your quality of life that you never had to make or consider before. As a trivial example, the ubiquitous leaving the toilet seat down. Of course, ako palaging "Yes darling..." The compromises increase even more when you have children.

That's what true love is, the desire to give a better life to someone else...the question in your situation now is, is he willing to do all that is required to give that to you? A trivial example from my life: I give up clubbing every night (weekends nalang), minsan nalang she does her highly therapeutic shopping (nakow, naatake ako noong bf/gf lang kami sa mga gastos nya, even if its her own money)

I guess you just have to find out what certain responsibilities your man is afraid of. This is no easy task as this isn't something you ask straight out. This is more of something you discover through observation... what are his pet peeves, what he doesn't like about his parents, what are things he absolutely must have, what thing do you not have in common, etc. (Not to discourage you, but I have a friend who absolutely could not give up other women, fafable kasi sya e)

Related to your finding out is, have you both discussed what either of your general responsibilities would be in marraige? I believe ayos na ayos kami ni misis cuz we set up some strict general guidelines before we got married. For example: I know of 1 couple in the US where naging houseband si hubby kasi their agreement was breadwinner yung kung sinong mas mataas ang sweldo.

Yung problema lang e, he wants space...hmm. If I were you, try finding and talking it out as mentioned above. But if he really wants his space, I wouldn't dwell on it na... kung ayaw nya e di wag. Hard to do, but not impossible. If he wants space, give it not just to him but yourself as well.

It is my experience also na pag sabi ng guy na "I love you but I need some space..." e it really means "You know, you're still hot but..."

[Flagg]

Wahehe, akala ko magiging post no. 2 ako, sa dami ng sinabi ko naging post no. 15.

[Flagg]

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-The fear of the leash being too tight.
-The fear of losing our carefree ways.
-The fear of her having two sides like a coin. While engaged, she's an angel. After the wedding, she transforms into a female tyrant.

-The fear of life as we know it ending only to be replaced by predictability and humdrum.

Went through all the above. As soon as my wife arrived here, she took charge and before I knew it, I was on an awfully short leash. But, meh. I'm taken and kept.

Hmm... ako naman I didn't go through any of the above. Was it because in the several years na bf/gf kami e we fought so intensely na we straightened everything out? Yung kiss and make-up intense din... ehehehe.

One thing I'm sure of though, we made it a point never to go to sleep without talking it over and making up some rules to keep the problem from recurring. Naks parang Quality Management...

[Karding]

sorry to hear that missZ. Seems to me that it isnt "cold feet," could be a "change of heart"

amf, nag test drive lang pala. sana sinabi mo "no cooling off period" j/k, just trying to make you smile...ehehe

and yes, you deserve someone better *cough gwapito69 cough*

[margaux]

tsaka, buti na nga yun kasi you already knew it sa simula pa lang.... E pano kung kasal na kayo, e di mas mahirap tanggapin, di ba? you should be somehow grateful na sinabi nya yun.

[oldblue]

dapat kasi magpakatotoo lahat noh... kasi naman.....you'll really know the true colors of your partner kapag tumagal na kayo ng sobra..

ma'm nagpapakatotoo naman kami kaya lang talaga matindi mga girls/wives magpaikot. unbearable na * times.



i'll cite a recent experience:

recently, napapadalas sa gym si Diana Zubiri. my wife excitedly told me: "hoy, nakita mo ba si diana zubiri? ayan o. ang ***y ***y no! talaga! hmmpfff kunwari ka pa di mo nakita eh pagpasok pa lang natin dun na nakatutok mata mo"

then 2 days later sa gym ulit. my wife got out of the locker and approached me sa treadmill. "kasabay ko si diana kanina sa locker. nagbihis din sya and lahat kami kahit mga matatanda napatingin. grabe pala talaga, lahat ng mga lalaki ma-aatract sa kanya. we saw her with bra and panties lang, and lahat ng parte ng katawan nya ***y talaga! voluptous body! " sagot na lang ako: "ah ganun ba"

then just about 2 days ago "oh bakit nandyan ka pa (pointing to the treadmill), kala ko ba kanina pagod ka na at tinatamad ka mag-gym." then she looked at my front. "kaya naman pala eh, may pang-motivate ka" diana zubiri is in front of me. "o sige aalis na ako, enjoy!" pero nakasimangot. then nagkita kami after ng gym, nakasimangot hanggang sa pag-uwi.

wtf! nagawan na kagad ako ng istorya and to think this diana zubiri person doesn't even know we exist or even fighting coz of her.

i really cant understand women or wives.