My wife found out about my affair

[twistedmind]

Hello everyone. Before you all condemn me, I admit its my fault my mistake and no reason can justify me having an affair.

We are married for 9 years and are blessed with 2 lovely children both boys 9 and 4. We are happy as a family, we often go outings and every sunday is a family day. Just like the common reason medyo neglected ako ng wife ko, when i go home ask lang sya kung kumain na ako and that's it, she continues watching tv na, all the house chores mga maid na ang gumagawa ng decision, wala kasi hilig ang wife ko sa mga gawain bahay.

We also have a problem with each other, our physical intimacy has gone down to almost zero for the last 4 years we only made love less than 5 times and there was a year na completely zero. Lagi sya pagod, tinatamad, wala sa mood or inaantok, in fairness wala naman sya 3rd party. But inspite of that hindi naman ako nag rebelde by going to clubs and bars, work bahay pa din ako until one day may nakilala ako isang girl na friend ng barkada ko. Madalas na ako sumasama sa kanila pagumaalis sila whether mall lang or eat out. Then naging close kami nitong other girl.

Our affair started early last year and a few months ago my wife found out about it and hindi na din ako naka deny dahil may mga common friends kami nagsabi na din sa knya. The problem is hindi ko agad nabitiwan ang girl so after a month pinalayas ako ng wife ko sa condo ko, umalis na lang din ako dahil ayaw ko mga kids ko sa in law ko lumipat. But every weekends and no classes dun sila sa in laws ko nag stay para hindi ko sila mapuntahan sa condo. During schooldays naman hindi ko din sila pwde visit sa condo paguwi nila kasi nandun na din wife ko. I just go to their school and nakakasama ko sila for 10 min. papunta ng parking lot.
But lately ayaw hindi na nila ako pinapansin coz mom said may ibang gf na daw ako and hindi ko sila love and better forget their dad and if nalaman na kinausap nila ako hindi sila isasama mamasyal.

I hate myself for entering into that relationship and for not ending it, now hindi ko na makasama mga anak ko. Sobra pa naman kaming close lalo both boys. Almost 4 months na kami hiwalay and now sem break na hindi ko nakikita mga kids. Sabi ng in law ko kung gusto ko mag demanda daw ako and hindi sila natatakot, mdyo well off kasi sila and have lots of political friends so they know very well i'm not capable of doing it. I've lost 20 lbs the last 2 months and i don't know the meaning of smile na.

There's no one to blame except me and ito ang consequence ng nagawa ko. I have no parents and siblings so now I'm all alone. Ayaw na din ng wife ko makipag usap sa akin and I've went to a marriage counsellor Fr. Dave Clay and sabi nya he needs to talk to my wife too dahil may problem na daw ang marriage namin even before my affair pero ayaw mag reply ng wife ko sa invitation nya. Sobrang hirap and depressed ako everyday, wala naman ako magawa dahil ayaw na din ako kausapin ng wife ko.

Anyone have the same problem before?? Or may alam ba kayo support groups with same problems like me?

My fault, My mistake My stupidity.