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  1. Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    29
    #1
    Hello everyone. Before you all condemn me, I admit its my fault my mistake and no reason can justify me having an affair.

    We are married for 9 years and are blessed with 2 lovely children both boys 9 and 4. We are happy as a family, we often go outings and every sunday is a family day. Just like the common reason medyo neglected ako ng wife ko, when i go home ask lang sya kung kumain na ako and that's it, she continues watching tv na, all the house chores mga maid na ang gumagawa ng decision, wala kasi hilig ang wife ko sa mga gawain bahay.

    We also have a problem with each other, our physical intimacy has gone down to almost zero for the last 4 years we only made love less than 5 times and there was a year na completely zero. Lagi sya pagod, tinatamad, wala sa mood or inaantok, in fairness wala naman sya 3rd party. But inspite of that hindi naman ako nag rebelde by going to clubs and bars, work bahay pa din ako until one day may nakilala ako isang girl na friend ng barkada ko. Madalas na ako sumasama sa kanila pagumaalis sila whether mall lang or eat out. Then naging close kami nitong other girl.

    Our affair started early last year and a few months ago my wife found out about it and hindi na din ako naka deny dahil may mga common friends kami nagsabi na din sa knya. The problem is hindi ko agad nabitiwan ang girl so after a month pinalayas ako ng wife ko sa condo ko, umalis na lang din ako dahil ayaw ko mga kids ko sa in law ko lumipat. But every weekends and no classes dun sila sa in laws ko nag stay para hindi ko sila mapuntahan sa condo. During schooldays naman hindi ko din sila pwde visit sa condo paguwi nila kasi nandun na din wife ko. I just go to their school and nakakasama ko sila for 10 min. papunta ng parking lot.
    But lately ayaw hindi na nila ako pinapansin coz mom said may ibang gf na daw ako and hindi ko sila love and better forget their dad and if nalaman na kinausap nila ako hindi sila isasama mamasyal.

    I hate myself for entering into that relationship and for not ending it, now hindi ko na makasama mga anak ko. Sobra pa naman kaming close lalo both boys. Almost 4 months na kami hiwalay and now sem break na hindi ko nakikita mga kids. Sabi ng in law ko kung gusto ko mag demanda daw ako and hindi sila natatakot, mdyo well off kasi sila and have lots of political friends so they know very well i'm not capable of doing it. I've lost 20 lbs the last 2 months and i don't know the meaning of smile na.

    There's no one to blame except me and ito ang consequence ng nagawa ko. I have no parents and siblings so now I'm all alone. Ayaw na din ng wife ko makipag usap sa akin and I've went to a marriage counsellor Fr. Dave Clay and sabi nya he needs to talk to my wife too dahil may problem na daw ang marriage namin even before my affair pero ayaw mag reply ng wife ko sa invitation nya. Sobrang hirap and depressed ako everyday, wala naman ako magawa dahil ayaw na din ako kausapin ng wife ko.

    Anyone have the same problem before?? Or may alam ba kayo support groups with same problems like me?

    My fault, My mistake My stupidity.
    Last edited by boybi; October 30th, 2008 at 07:06 PM.

  2. Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    3,177
    #2
    Mods, request edit for proper paragraph spacing. Ang hirap nito basahin.

    Yung mga kakilala ko na ganyan story, they ligaw the old wife hanggang friends na sila. So they get to see the kids na. Tapos, at the same time, they made new kids with the new wife.

    It's really no biggy sir. Just swallow your pride and stalk the old lady.
    Last edited by Flagg; October 30th, 2008 at 06:58 PM.

  3. Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    56,673
    #3
    What you did is wrong but I somehow feel for you because you don't have parents and siblings to support you. Your wife and children are your only family and now they're mad at you. I hope you could still patch things up with your wife but I think your wife shouldn't involve your kids in your problem. What she is doing to you is emotional blackmail by turning the kids against you. That is really immature.

    Is your wife a housewife? If she is then I think you're not the only one to blame. Like you mentioned you have helpers at home, I think the least that she could do is to take care of you since you provide for the family. If your wife works then I think you should have been more understanding as to why she cannot take care of you really well. I'm single and I cannot imagine working and taking care of the family at the same time that's why I applaud working moms who take care of their families well. What is it about *** anyway? It's supposed to be good but howcome your wife isn't so enthusiatic about it?

    I think the best thing would be to ask help from people close to your wife to help you patch things up. Kawawa din kasi your children. And I agree with Flagg try to woo your wife again. Flowers, chocolates, bags, love letters, jewelries - the works. Walang matimtimang birhen sa matiyagang manalangin.
    Last edited by _Cathy_; October 30th, 2008 at 07:13 PM.

  4. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    21,244
    #4
    Ang tanong, does your wife still loves you? From your story, sabi mo neglected ka na ng wife mo, and no ***?!?! She may have just used your affair to get away from you.

  5. Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,442
    #5
    yup tama si sir boybi mahirap kasi pag wala ng feeling ang esmi mo sayo or sa madaling salita sawa na? bukod dun sir wala na ba kayo ibang pinagaawayan o pinagtatalunan?

  6. Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    3,722
    #6
    I won't rub salt into your wound nor will I be a high and mighty sinless man.

    Your wife was also part of the problem which led you to the affair. Lack luster, no sparks, passive attitude will get her nowhere in my book too. Even I have needs that I have to satisfy so in your case since was not part of the solution, she was part of the problem.

    Being away from your boys is mental torture enough and for me her deliberate efforts to take them away from you is downright heartless with dire consequences on the poor kids.

    They (in-laws) have easily brainwashed your boys and what your wife is doing is illegal since you have the right to periodically see your boys being their biological father.

    You should take this issue to court and demand visitation time with your boys.

    .

  7. Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    5,994
    #7
    negotiate, pardon and comeback
    Damn, son! Where'd you find this?

  8. Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    787
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by boybi View Post
    Ang tanong, does your wife still loves you? From your story, sabi mo neglected ka na ng wife mo, and no ***?!?! She may have just used your affair to get away from you.
    Very possible.

  9. Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    430
    #9
    Sir parang hinihintay ka lang niyang magkamali at once nagawa mo un, pagdidiinan niya un. Try to talk about it with your inlaws.

  10. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    5,179
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by boybi View Post
    Ang tanong, does your wife still loves you? From your story, sabi mo neglected ka na ng wife mo, and no ***?!?! She may have just used your affair to get away from you.
    im not married as well but from the story that she does not do her part keeping the relationship alive... well i have to agree with boybi's statement.

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My wife found out about my affair