MEN: Social Class and Education NOT a Factor in Choosing a GF/Wife?

[bloowolf]

Regarding Cathy’s post:
I cannot imagine choosing a BF over my parents. If my parents don't approve of him, then it's over. I would not be in this planet if it weren't for my parents. They raised me, gave me unconditional love and love me more than they love themselves so I would never be with a person that they do not approve of. That's just me I don't want to complicate my life kasi.

Would it be a first impression or over time? Sometimes kasi, parents always have something to say about the suitor/bf just because of their looks and appearance, the car he drives, social status, his relatives or connections etc.... but sometimes, over time as they get to know the person, minor flaws will be overlooked. Also, this holds true in a marriage- you will always marry into the family. My brother married a pretty girl, she came from a good family who are religious. The brothers are well off & employed in good companies. My parents liked her when they met her. Sounds good? Unfortunately, may topak si girl. Very reserved & introverted. A few years ago, my bro found out she had a bf in the US. Kaya pala frequently travels. Di lang yun, kinaliwa rin yung bf kaya tatlo sila. You think you will know a person by looks alone?

[MR_BIG18]

Regarding Cathy’s post:
I cannot imagine choosing a BF over my parents. If my parents don't approve of him, then it's over. I would not be in this planet if it weren't for my parents. They raised me, gave me unconditional love and love me more than they love themselves so I would never be with a person that they do not approve of. That's just me I don't want to complicate my life kasi.

Would it be a first impression or over time? Sometimes kasi, parents always have something to say about the suitor/bf just because of their looks and appearance, the car he drives, social status, his relatives or connections etc.... but sometimes, over time as they get to know the person, minor flaws will be overlooked. Also, this holds true in a marriage- you will always marry into the family. My brother married a pretty girl, she came from a good family who are religious. The brothers are well off & employed in good companies. My parents liked her when they met her. Sounds good? Unfortunately, may topak si girl. Very reserved & introverted. A few years ago, my bro found out she had a bf in the US. Kaya pala frequently travels. Di lang yun, kinaliwa rin yung bf kaya tatlo sila. You think you will know a person by looks alone?

I can relate to that... my mother in law didnt liked me from the start..she even tricked my then fiance to visit her in the states, there she introduced her to someone...after knowing what her plans were, she came back here, they have no choice but to give us their blessing...now we are married for almost 20 years...she stays at our house when shes in the country, im the one she consoles on their major decisions...she tells everyone now that im her favorite manugang...why? My brother in law's marriage didnt worked out...wife also came from a nice family...parents are doctor and eng, i cant say may topak yung girl..it takes 2 to tanggo..but she was the spoiled type..laging umuuwi pag nag aaway silang mag asawa...then kinukunsinte ng parents....now theyre seperated.

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[MR_BIG18]

MISIS, NAIS MAKUHA ANG ANAK SA INIWANG MISTER NA PULIS NA NANG-AABUSO! - YouTube

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[bloowolf]

I can relate to that... my mother in law didnt liked me from the start..she even tricked my then fiance to visit her in the states, there she introduced her to someone...after knowing what her plans were, she came back here, they have no choice but to give us their blessing...now we are married for almost 20 years...she stays at our house when shes in the country, im the one she consoles on their major decisions...she tells everyone now that im her favorite manugang...why? My brother in law's marriage didnt worked out...wife also came from a nice family...parents are doctor and eng, i cant say may topak yung girl..it takes 2 to tanggo..but she was the spoiled type..laging umuuwi pag nag aaway silang mag asawa...then kinukunsinte ng parents....now theyre seperated.

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I agree. At the end of the day, it will still be between the couple to work things out. Sa marriage pa naman, there are so many kinks to work on. May kilala ako nag hiwalay dahil mabaho amoy nung paa nung lalaki. You will have to overlook & live with the flaws. No one is perfect. I have a friend whose father was a postal worker & mother a housewife. He married a girl who’s in the lower rich class status. He is not a looker & couldn’t afford expensive clothes or shoes then but she saw that he is very bright, driven, his own man & very confident, inspite of his background. They adjusted at first to each others parents. Now, he is the GM of this drug company, travels all over the world, lives in a big house, children work in NZ so they bought a house in NZ.
It will help to try to imagine whether you can see yourself in the future with the guy (or girl). Don’t let your parents decide your destiny. Also, if the relationship is easy to carry, it is the right relationship.

[kagalingan]

Tsikoteers.... We look sa history.

Im singol pala and no plans yet magpakasal but i mingol.

Sa usapang kasal, tayo mga asians eh hindi pwede purely amerkano style na "me and you against the world"

Pag edad na 21 to 25 years old magpapakasal = ano ba alam na mga yan sa usapang pag-aasawa? So parents are guide. Pero ingat din sa parents na nuknukan pagka oppurtinista.

Sa history uso ang arrange marriage. Dati ayaw ko din yan pero further studies eh naintindihan ko na.

[MR_BIG18]

Tsikoteers.... We look sa history.

Im singol pala and no plans yet magpakasal but i mingol.

Sa usapang kasal, tayo mga asians eh hindi pwede purely amerkano style na "me and you against the world"

Pag edad na 21 to 25 years old magpapakasal = ano ba alam na mga yan sa usapang pag-aasawa? So parents are guide. Pero ingat din sa parents na nuknukan pagka oppurtinista.

Sa history uso ang arrange marriage. Dati ayaw ko din yan pero further studies eh naintindihan ko na.

May sense ka din pala...

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[Vodka]

marrying for love is a relatively new concept

[box_type]

Tsikoteers.... We look sa history.

Im singol pala and no plans yet magpakasal but i mingol.

Sa usapang kasal, tayo mga asians eh hindi pwede purely amerkano style na "me and you against the world"

Pag edad na 21 to 25 years old magpapakasal = ano ba alam na mga yan sa usapang pag-aasawa? So parents are guide. Pero ingat din sa parents na nuknukan pagka oppurtinista.

Sa history uso ang arrange marriage. Dati ayaw ko din yan pero further studies eh naintindihan ko na.

since you studied about it and naintindihan mo naman, may i know (if its ok with you) kung nagustuhan mo ba o hindi yung sinasabi mong napag aralan mo at naintindihan mong “arrange marriage”?


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[sean-archer]

May sense ka din pala...

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I actually didn't get what he's trying to point. Or maybe for me mukha hindi structured yung flow ng words nya.

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[2lits17]

maybe he is now ok with arrange marriage. parents will be their guide all through out your married life. lahat sasabihin ng parents nila.. good luck bro...

[dr. d]

Tsikoteers.... We look sa history.

Im singol pala and no plans yet magpakasal but i mingol.

Sa usapang kasal, tayo mga asians eh hindi pwede purely amerkano style na "me and you against the world"

Pag edad na 21 to 25 years old magpapakasal = ano ba alam na mga yan sa usapang pag-aasawa? So parents are guide. Pero ingat din sa parents na nuknukan pagka oppurtinista.

Sa history uso ang arrange marriage. Dati ayaw ko din yan pero further studies eh naintindihan ko na.

nai-intindihan is one thing.
approving is another.
and experiencing it in one's life is a totally different thing.
as my favorite alien once said, "i said, i understood. i did not say i approved".

so kags, which is it for you?

[Jun aka Pekto]

I cannot imagine choosing a BF over my parents. If my parents don't approve of him, then it's over. I would not be in this planet if it weren't for my parents. They raised me, gave me unconditional love and love me more than they love themselves so I would never be with a person that they do not approve of.

That's your choice. I can't comment on it further because I know nothing of your life.

Me? I grew up under a different set of circumstances. Being a male, my parents raised and encouraged me to be independent....and I did. The only reason I didn't move out after HS was my mom wanted me to wait until I was 21.

My father was fine with whoever I married. It was my mom who raised a ruckus, all because my wife* was from the Visayas. I thought it was a stupid reason and I stuck to my guns until she finally relented.

I have two kids of my own. One thing I will never do is impose my will on them once they reach adulthood. They don't owe me anything. All I ask of them is to live their life the best they can.

*Edit:
I can only imagine my mom's rage if I brought over a Caucasian fiancee.....I almost did too.

[EQAddict]

Agree . Our kids arent our slaves. They have to be allowed to live their own lives. We can only give them the best tools and environment to succeed and be a good person to their family and to society.

I may disagree with them but i who am i to say with 100% certainty who would be the best partner for them? I wouldnt know their preferred partners full circumstances or emotional and mental makeup. It would be unfair for me to breakup a relationship because of any misconceptions i may have.


*Cathy. Regarding your circumstances. Your mom is for your 50 yr old male friend when we all know here from your stories that he is an utter disaster. This is just an example I want to make that parents dont know everything.



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[dr. d]

"mom, if you like him so much, why don't YOU marry him?"
heh heh heh.

[brushless]

I remembered one time when I was in school, I caught my health education teacher smoking in the parking lot after teaching us the evils of smoking. I laughed. What a badass. I guess he is only there to get paid. He was my role model though. lol

A friend of mine was ranting about his parents because they don't approve of his girlfriend and that she's not good enough for him and all that stuff. I was shaking my head, "Dude, aren't your parents divorced? Your mom married twice and your dad is something I don't want to say. And here they are giving you advice because they don't want you ending up like them. They don't want you to make their mistakes but they still continue doing it."

I just told him, "Dude, just get the fkc out of there and live somewhere else. You're old enough to live your own life."

Obviously, they are just using him as their therapuetic outlet for their failures.

[Jun aka Pekto]

Agree . Our kids arent our slaves. They have to be allowed to live their own lives. We can only give them the best tools and environment to succeed and be a good person to their family and to society.

I may disagree with them but i who am i to say with 100% certainty who would be the best partner for them? I wouldnt know their preferred partners full circumstances or emotional and mental makeup. It would be unfair for me to breakup a relationship because of any misconceptions i may have.


*Cathy. Regarding your circumstances. Your mom is for your 50 yr old male friend when we all know here from your stories that he is an utter disaster. This is just an example I want to make that parents dont know everything.

Parents mean well for their kids, especially PH parents when compared to other parents I've seen. They have a good reputation for keeping families intact. So, I give them kudos for effort.

But, kids grow up and at some point, we (the parents) have to let go. We'll still be around in case our adult kids stumble and need our help.

I'm a realist in all these and I know I will not be around forever. So, my ultimate goal in life is to make sure my kids can stand on their own.

[sean-archer]

nai-intindihan is one thing.
approving is another.
and experiencing it in one's life is a totally different thing.
as my favorite alien once said, "i said, i understood. i did not say i approved".

so kags, which is it for you?

Doc, sino alien na yan? Haha

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[BratPAQ]

I remember mg ex-GF before I met my wife, she is beautiful, I told her she looked like Winona Ryder, her reply is "who is she?". When I'm asking her what movie she likes to watch, she would always choose tagalog movies. Nagtataka ako bakit ayaw nya ng english movies, then I found out why when she gave me a love letter written in english. her grammar is so bad n a tawa ng tawa ang friend ko nung nabasa nya. looks is the only thing thats going for her.

i didnt see a future with her, i was imagining that ill be working all day then I will leave her at our house with our kids and she will teach out kids with broken english, no way! from then on intelligence is a big factor for me.

[sean-archer]

I remember mg ex-GF before I met my wife, she is beautiful, I told her she looked like Winona Ryder, her reply is "who is she?". When I'm asking her what movie she likes to watch, she would always choose tagalog movies. Nagtataka ako bakit ayaw nya ng english movies, then I found out why when she gave me a love letter written in english. her grammar is so bad n a tawa ng tawa ang friend ko nung nabasa nya. looks is the only thing thats going for her.

i didnt see a future with her, i was imagining that ill be working all day then I will leave her at our house with our kids and she will teach out kids with broken english, no way! from then on intelligence is a big factor for me.

Hmmm you could have taught her...? Though Kaka turn off Talaga hindi nya kilala si Winona.

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[BratPAQ]

Hmmm you could have taught her...? Though Kaka turn off Talaga hindi nya kilala si Winona.

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My english isn't that hot either so I don't think I can teach her that much. Beside I quickly fell out of love. As I said looks is the only thing that's going for her.

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