Joke Time!

[wezz_zzew]

so idol wezz_zzew, this post make sense.

on this page http://tsikot.com/forums/travel-tour...ml#post2182470

and this also

http://tsikot.com/forums/travel-tour...ml#post2182231

[glenn manikis]

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

[Ry_Tower]

Ito great joke din.

Get ready to scrap your car?s license plates| BusinessWorld Online Mobile

Milyon din nga naman kita dyan nang supplier at kung sino man backer niya and somebody else up there na may connection sa kalokohang ito.

[Retz]

[Monseratto]

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants ***, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

[Retz]

[Retz]

[joemarski]

:pirate2:

[Retz]

[Retz]

[12vdc]

[piscesboy]

[wezz_zzew]

A woman decided to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000.00 and feels pretty good about the result.
One her way home, she stops at the news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk,
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," she replied.
"Nope! Im'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A Little while later she goes into Mc Donald's and ask the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile,
"Nope, I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself.
She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.
Although when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.
He pushes her breast together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay.... How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,

"Madam, you are 50".

Stunned and amazed, the woman says,
"That was incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't" she says.

"I was behind you at Mc Donald's!."

[Retz]

[EE100shiro]

[susmaryousef]

[Retz]

[joemelr]

Photoshopped?

[jick.cejoco]

:laughbounce:

penis broken. please use finger or tongue. thanks

[EE100shiro]