Joke Time!

[GBStJames]

Hahahahaha! Nice one.

That was an actual answer of a student here in our university.

[SiRbossR]

^HAHA. Win!

[isa1023]

Pork Chop Duo classic:

Use "parachute" in a sentence. Say it in a ***y way.

"Wag kang malikot ... para shoot!"

:naughty2:

[gongrhey]

[SIZE=3]Magic wand[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. “Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“I know, Father. In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“I agree,” says the Father. “Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Anything, Father…”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“I have never seen a woman’s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Well, under the circumstances I don’t see that it would do any harm.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Sister, would you mind if I touched them?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Father, could I ask something of you?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Yes, Sister?” I have never seen a man’s pen—. Could I see yours?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“I suppose that would be OK,” the priest replied lifting his robe.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Oh Father, may I touch it?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Sister, you know that if I insert my pen – in the right place, it can give life.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Is that true Father?”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Yes, it is, Sister.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]“Oh Father, that’s wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let’s get the hell out of here!”[/SIZE]


got this from Boo Chanco's column.

[nervenllarena]

A blonde named Shelly decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn’t done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video.

She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.

To her disappointment, there’s nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

Shelly: “I just rented an adult movie from you and there’s nothing on the tape but static.”

Clerk: “Sorry about that. We’ve had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?”

Shelly: “Head Cleaner.”

[nervenllarena]

i got this one from one of my FB friends :

On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said,” You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.”

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn’t resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men’s restrooms don’t have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water,gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn’t wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.

“What happened?” he exclaimed.

“You pushed one too many buttons,” replied the nurse.

“The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.”

[nervenllarena]

another one :

A pro golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

“I have some good news and some bad news.” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”

“Oh god no!” cries the man. “My career is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”

“The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm! I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant”

“Go for it doc” says the man. “As long as I can play golf again.”

The operation went well and 6 months later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.

“Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.

“Just great” says the business man. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved.”

“That’s great.” said the surgeon.

“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors”

“Unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a success.”

“Well there is one problem,” said the golfer, “every time I try to jerk off I get a headache!”

[lenuj]

Teacher: Juan, give me colors that start with letter M, except maroon!
Juan: hmmm...

Maitim!
Mapute!
Maputla!
Madilaw!
Mukhang berde!
Mejo asul!
Mamink-mink!

[SiRbossR]

^wahahahaha