tingen ko ang problema mo si uls. maghanap ka na ng iba makikinig sayo kasi di nag-work.I had a death wish when I was younger and drove like a mad woman. I've been miserable for almost 2 decades and I'm close to giving up.
I would tell God, at a very young age, quota na ko sa paghihirap but it does NOT seem to stop. Uls knows my life story and he can attest to that. And you know what hurts the most? When people see me they think I am SHALLOW because of the way I look or act? But people have no idea how much problems I carry in my life.
Just an an example people would say "swerte unica hija" BUT do they know how much of a big responsibility it is and how difficult it is for an only child to take care of ageing parents? I have no siblings na kaagapay. And the anxiety I face everyday fearing the loss of the my nuclear family because they are all I have and they are ageing. Hindi naman nakikita ng mga nagco comment na "swerte" ko.
This board is my ONLY outlet for my thoughts and feelings because here I am anonymous. The exact reason why I do NOT do meet ups. People who know me personally know how very reserved I am. I don't like opening myself up because that makes me feel vulnerable and I don't like that feeling. I don't like getting attached because I've suffered too many losses in my life
And then I decided to take a chance and make myself vulnerable and then my heart got shattered into pieces. I would like to think matino akong babae and I was so careful in opening up myself to someone but why is my heart broken now? I don't deserve that at all. But why did it happen to me still.



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