PC SUPPORT email

Dear Tech Support Team:
>
>Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
>I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected
>childlike-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
>In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
>monitors all other system activities.
>
>Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies
>7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever
>selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
>attempting to run my favorite applications.
>I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall'
>doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
>
>Please help!
>
>Thanks,
>
>"A Troubled User"
>
>
>
>REPLY:
>
>Dear Troubled User:
>
>This is a very common problem that people complain about.
>Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
>is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
>Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
>EVERYTHING!! !
>It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend
>5.0.
>It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the
>system once installed.
>
>You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not
>to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-
>Child Support) .
>I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the
>environment.
>I suggest installing the background application YesDear 4.6 to
>alleviate software augmentation.
>
>The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
>ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
>system will return to normal anyway.
>
>Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
>Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep
>3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use
>these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the
>program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the
>performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
>Shopping 2.1 and Jewellry 5.0
>
>STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install
>SecretaryWithShortS kirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife
>1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.