DIVORCE in the Philippines?!Are you in Favor or not?!

[av8or5]

in favor

[wowiesy]

regarding kung YES or NO, ako din nalilito... both sides may pros and cons.. and i believe i can't say even for myself which is the best choice... depende sa situation yan eh... but then kaya nga di pa kami nagpapakasal ng gf ko.. we really want to make sure that we could handle life being married with each other... nag attend na nga kami ng Discovery Weekend...

but then from the press release... lumalabas ang pinaka justification lang nila ay dahil sa hindi kaya gastusan ng mahihirap ang pag-annull kaya divorce na lang.. gagawing mas mura... iba naman talaga ang takbo ng isip nitong mga makakaliwang party list na to oo.. pag tumaas ang presyo, i subsidize ng pamahalaan.. paano i subsidize? higher taxes.. pero pag pinapa taas naman ang taxes ayaw din nila... ano ba talaga gusto nilang mangyari sa buhay nila??

<< nawawala ako sa idea ko... >>

back to their justification... dahil sa di nila ma aafford ang pag annull... does that necessarily mean na afford nila ang pagpapakasal? afford ba nila ang buhay may asawa?? kung sa affordability ang issue.. dapat bago pa sila nagpakasal eh inisip na nila na afford ba nila magpakasal at manatiling kasal in terms of gastos? idagdag mo pa dyan yung maturity and all other aspects of being married...

kung costing lang ang problema kaya hirap magpa annull.. i say ituloy lang para maging deterrent!... ganun ako eh... biggest hindrance ko to really getting married is i'm not confident kung kaya ko support ang magiging pamilya ko in the long run eh...

[empy]

kumbaga sa tsikot...





...dapat may test drive muna bago bili :D

[BlueGirl]

ayoko ng divorce..dapat kung sino ang papakasalan,magsasama sa hirap at ginhawa...kaya nga kailangan bago magpakasal pag-isipan ng mabuti para walang magsisi sa huli...

[mazdamazda]

ayoko ng divorce..dapat kung sino ang papakasalan,magsasama sa hirap at ginhawa...kaya nga kailangan bago magpakasal pag-isipan ng mabuti para walang magsisi sa huli...

I agree.

You should already know the consequences & responsibilities when getting married. You should have already factored in the changes & new things that you'll discover about your partner once you get married - and work in resolving that.

If you consider the Bible, Koran or any other religion's books as your guide to life, you wouldn't really read anything about divorce would you?

Divorce is just the easy way out (especially men) who don't have the guts to stand up to their vows & face their responsibilities.

[Chip]

both sides have very valid arguments. I personally say YES. Di mo talaga makikilala ang isang tao until you live under the same roof. Kaya live in muna.. ika nga test drive hehehe

[bongliza]

in favor, just ensure that the rules are clear tulad ng support for the kids, etc. tulad ng sabi ni chip, makikilala mo lang talaga ang partner mo when you're living together in one roof. Once yung LOVE ay nawala, di na magiging masaya ang pamilya, the kids are very much affected as well. like lagi nilang nakikita na nag aaway yung parents, at the end mawawala ang respeto sa isat isa, normally, the kids don't respect their parents anymore. so I think, better that one will have to go.

[BlueBimmer]

we have to consider mga abused wife, kng walang divorce kawawa cla parati sa kanilang husband arawaraw. im sure if ganyan nangyari sa inyo di kau magdadalawang icp hiwalayan ang asawang sira ulo. pero specific cases na to, so dami talaga factors to consider.

[ILuvDetailing]

Divorce is just the easy way out (especially men) who don't have the guts to stand up to their vows & face their responsibilities.

Sometimes its the only way out. Like we discussed in all other threads, you cannot generalize everything, its often a case to case basis.

[BlueBimmer]

imagine those abused wives, wherein binubugbog, minumura, binabastos ng kanilang asawa. ung iba nga umabot pa na halos kaya na patayin ang husband nila.

for them divorce = new lease in life, where they could begin anew and forget the bitter past.

[jim]

sa mga abused wives, e di lumayo na lang sila sa mga bwiset na asawa nila. :D

ako firm na dapat hindi payagan ang divorce kasi ganun din naman sa legal separation at annullment eh. ayusin na lang yung proseso kasi you still need a lawyer and a series of hearings to get divorce!!!

[afrasay]

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The
bridal car stopped
in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted
that I carry her out
of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our
home. She was then plump
and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure
water: we had a kid, I
went into business and tried to make more money.
When the assets were
steadily increasing, the affections between us
seemed to ebb. She was a
civil servant. Every morning we left home together
and got home almost at
the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding
school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But
the calm life was more
likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her
stream of love. This was
the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws
girls' eyeballs. Her
words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just
married, my wife
said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very
attractive to girls."
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew
I had betrayed my
wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to
select some furniture,
O.K.? I've got something to do in the company."
Obviously she was
unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see
with her. At the
moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my
mind although it used to
be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife
about it. No matter
how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be
deeply hurt. Honestly, she
was a good wife. Every evening she was busy
preparing dinner. I was
sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready
soon. Then we watched TV
together. Or, I was lounging before the computer,
visualizing Dew's body.
This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way,
"suppose we divorce, what
will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds
without a word.
Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something
too far away from
her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she
got to know I was
serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped
out. Almost all the
staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and
tried to hide
something while talking with her. She seemed to have
got some hint. She
gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some
hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her,
O.K.? Then we live
together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any
more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand.
"I've got something
to tell you," I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I
had to let her know
what I was thinking. "I want to divorce." I raised a
serious topic
calmly.

She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words,
instead she asked me
softly, "why?". "I'm serious." I avoided her
question. This so-called
answer turned her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me,
"you are not a man!".

At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was
weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our
marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had
gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake
of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a
pain in my heart.
The woman who had been living ten years with me
would become a stranger
one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was
what I had expected to
see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce
which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be
firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my
clients. I saw her
writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast.
When I woke up, I
found she was still there. I turned over and was
asleep again.< ONT

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't
want anything from me,
but I was supposed to give her one month's time
before divorce, and in
the month's time we must live as normal life as
possible. Her reason was
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a
month later and she
didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then
asked me, "He Ning,
do you still remember how I entered our bridal room
on the wedding day?"
This question suddenly brought back all those
wonderful memories to me. I
nodded and said, "I remember". "You carried me in
your arms", she
continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you
carry me out in your
arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end
of this month, you
must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every
morning."

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those
sweet days and wished to
end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She
laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she
does, she has to face
the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her
words more or less made
me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my
divorce intention
was carried her out for the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his
arms." His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to
the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her
eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today,
don't tell our son." I
nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down
outside the door. She went
to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my
chest. We were so close that I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman
carefully for a long
time. I found she was not young any more. There were
some fine wrinkles
on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside
garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to
feel that we were
still an intimate couple and I was holding my
sweetheart in my arms. The
visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me
something, such as,
where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful
while looking, etc.
I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to
carry you now."

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry
her out. She tried
quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, "All my
dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly
realized that it was
because she was thinner that I could carry her more
easily, not because I
was stronger. I knew she had buried all the
bitterness in her heart.
Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I
reached out a hand to
touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to
carry mum out." He
said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother
out had been an
essential part of his life. She gestured our son to
come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was
afraid I would change
my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms,
walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my
neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly,
as if we came back to
our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me
sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I
hope you will hold me
in your ms until we are old."

I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't
notice that our life
was lack of such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid
any delay would make me change my decision. I walked
upstairs. Dew opened
the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't
divorce. I'm serious."

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my
forehead. "You got no
fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head.
"Sorry, Dew," I said, "I
can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My
marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details
of life, not because
we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand
that since I carried
her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am
supposed to hold her
until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud
slap and then slammed
the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and
drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered
a bouquet for my wife
which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to
write the greeting
words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry
you out every morning
until we are old."

IN FAVOR PO. But not for me, but for the thousands of battered/neglected wives and husbands out there.

[BlueBimmer]

well madali lng literally hiwalayan, pero iba pa rin kc marami pa sabit hehe

[66bunny]

I'm a male and I'm in favor.

8 out of 10 of my female officemates have good for nothing husbands-- lasenggo, laging nagbibilyar, babaero, walang trabaho at higit sa lahat: feeling God's gift to women. No wonder if you go to Makati, majority are female workers - they're more effective than men. Men in general are lazy, too much pride, dumb yet they think their smart, and always on the lookout for their next prey.

Women today earns more than their counterpart since the 70s. Men regress steadily throughout the years. It's really a different scenario back when I was growing up. My father never allowed my mom to work. He gives all his salary to her. She, budgets it. We're all graduates now with good work.

Almost all the stories of my female officemates are the same: Men are good in the first stage of the marriage, sooner they will miss their bachelor life and at the end, their husbands will become their sons.

Too bad, I've talked to a lot of women and they can't afford the annulment. So they're stuck with these amoebas for life. I'm talking about men from 25 to 55. They act like boys with toys regardless of age anyways.

To quote, "You don't marry a Filipino man, you adopt him." That sums up everything.

[jim]

I'm a male and I'm in favor.

8 out of 10 of my female officemates have good for nothing husbands-- lasenggo, laging nagbibilyar, babaero, walang trabaho at higit sa lahat: feeling God's gift to women. No wonder if you go to Makati, majority are female workers - they're more effective than men. Men in general are lazy, too much pride, dumb yet they think their smart, and always on the lookout for their next prey.

Women today earns more than their counterpart since the 70s. Men regress steadily throughout the years. It's really a different scenario back when I was growing up. My father never allowed my mom to work. He gives all his salary to her. She, budgets it. We're all graduates now with good work.

Almost all the stories of my female officemates are the same: Men are good in the first stage of the marriage, sooner they will miss their bachelor life and at the end, their husbands will become their sons.

Too bad, I've talked to a lot of women and they can't afford the annulment. So they're stuck with these amoebas for life. I'm talking about men from 25 to 55. They act like boys with toys regardless of age anyways.

To quote, "You don't marry a Filipino man, you adopt him." That sums up everything.

see what i mean. those women can't control their husbands i know, but have they tried counselling or confronting their husbands. DIVORCE is no solution for problematic relationships. ang mangyayari pa nyan gagamitin lang ng tao yan para lusutan ang di nila kayang harapin. tsk tsk tsk.

[66bunny]

see what i mean. those women can't control their husbands i know, but have they tried counselling or confronting their husbands. DIVORCE is no solution for problematic relationships. ang mangyayari pa nyan gagamitin lang ng tao yan para lusutan ang di nila kayang harapin. tsk tsk tsk.

Yes. They went to psychiatrist, counsellor, talked to their husbands--all in vain. Even at one point, the counsellor scolded the husband: What gives you the right to look for other women? Your wife is beautiful and smart, what's wrong with her?

I think it's also wrong to tell "those women can't control their husbands", when in the first place, you're the man, the father of the family, should be in control, and most importantly to your own self -- that means no womanizing, gambling etc.

Bottom line: men are promiscuous in nature. It's in their system. They're programmed to plant their seeds everywhere.

Assuming your the husband, will you let go of your wife? She's earning this amount of money, you don't have to work anymore because you're a fat, lazy bastard who thinks of women and beer all the time, divorce will be a big NO for you.

You'll never understand where I'm coming from until you listen to woman who's crying in front of you and telling how bastard his husband became to be. And the company I work is run by a woman and we have a janitress. Both have the same plight: men who are worthless.

And how many times you've heard this line, "Ok lang mambabae yang asawa mo, alam mo naman, ganyan talaga mga lalake..."

[jim]

Yes. They went to psychiatrist, counsellor, talked to their husbands--all in vain. Even at one point, the counsellor scolded the husband: What gives you the right to look for other women? Your wife is beautiful and smart, what's wrong with her?

I think it's also wrong to tell "those women can't control their husbands", when in the first place, you're the man, the father of the family, should be in control, and most importantly to your own self -- that means no womanizing, gambling etc.

Bottom line: men are promiscuous in nature. It's in their system. They're programmed to plant their seeds everywhere.

Assuming your the husband, will you let go of your wife? She's earning this amount of money, you don't have to work anymore because you're a fat, lazy bastard who thinks of women and beer all the time, divorce will be a big NO for you.

You'll never understand where I'm coming from until you listen to woman who's crying in front of you and telling how bastard his husband became to be. And the company I work is run by a woman and we have a janitress. Both have the same plight: men who are worthless.

And how many times you've heard this line, "Ok lang mambabae yang asawa mo, alam mo naman, ganyan talaga mga lalake..."

I understand 'coz I have many women friends who have problems with their husbands but with God's grace they were able to make up and seperation was prevented. My wife before earned more than me but I had to let her resign so she could look after the kids then I was able to find a job that tripled my current salary. It's wrong to generalize that all men are big fat bastards and worthless!!! Tell that to my wife (that I'm a big fat worthless bastard) and surely she'll slap you right across the face.

[Altis6453]

see what i mean. those women can't control their husbands i know, but have they tried counselling or confronting their husbands. DIVORCE is no solution for problematic relationships. ang mangyayari pa nyan gagamitin lang ng tao yan para lusutan ang di nila kayang harapin. tsk tsk tsk.

Neither is staying in an unhappy relationship a lasting solution. I think its too simplistic to say that couples should work it out, etc. Husbands can get abusive. Wives can run off with other men or bear children by other men. I think you drastically reduce the chance of domestic abuse by allowing divorce.

These are the reasons why divorce cannot be resorted to so easily or haphazardly:

1. If you go over it, you'll see that the law doesn't allow for "no-fault" divorces like what they have in some states in the US.

2. Divorce doesn't release the responsibility of the spouse at fault from giving continuous support or alimony to the innocent spouse and the children.

3. Usually, a "cooling off" period is required by the courts wherein the parties are given a chance to reconcile after some counselling.

4. The divorce law can be limited in providing that the spouses can only avail of divorce once. Meaning, you only get one second shot at happiness.

5. The children remain the responsibility of the divorced spouses even after they've remarried.

[baiskee]

no to divorce...

mangyayari pag meron divorce...parang kang nagpapalit ng damit.

yung problema ng mag-asawa, instead of solving it...isipin nila divorce na agad ang solution.

[BlueBimmer]

cguro maganda dyan, may divorce PERO with specific conditions.