Is Life Harder for Physically Unattractive People?

[_Cathy_]

My officemate opened up to me and told me he is being treated unfairly at work because he is not good looking. His physical traits are short, dark, fat, hairy and practically bald (in his 20s) He has good teeth though. He compared himself to his cute teammate who he things is the favorite because of his good looks. He basically said life is difficult for him because he is ugly Di ko alam kung maiiyak ako o matatawa

I told him that it had NOTHING to do with looks but more on personality/character. Good looks are a bonus for men but it's not crucial. When it comes to men, looks isn't much of an issue because it can be cancelled out with traits that are more "valued" with men. Scientifically or biologically (?) females are valued for their looks (ability to reproduce and nurture) and males for their strength (ability to provide and protect). So I think looks are more of an issue for women not men.

But my officemate insists that he is being reprimanded at work because of his looks So he thinks good looking people can get away with a lot of things I can't convince him anymore that it's personality that is causing people to treat him badly or stay away from him. My friend thinks my officemate is so insecure which caused him to develop a bad personality. Seems like a catch 22 to me

It makes me wonder, does looks really cause a person to be discriminated or bullied? Have you encountered persons like that in your lifetime?

[uls]

what your officemate experienced all his life is probably like what black men experience in the states

--

attractive people have more advantages

like attractive people are more persuasive

attractive people seem more likeable

attractive people can get away with a lot of things ordinary people can't

[Wh1stl3r]

Most people I know tend to treat good looking people better. That's just natural I guess. But I don't know about life being made hard for you by others just because you are unattractive. I don't think Pinoys are like that.

[arvs18]

Most people I know tend to treat good looking people better. That's just natural I guess. But I don't know about life being made hard for you by others just because you are unattractive. I don't think Pinoys are like that.

I think nakakadagdag din yung Pinoy Social Media and the Media itself, sa discrimination sa less attractive individuals.

Ang sumisikat kasi satin ngayon is yung mga attractive, basta maganda or gwapo, magkakaroon ng Music Album kahit wala namang boses.

Ang less attractive ang ginagawang pang katatawanan or comedy.

[Wh1stl3r]

I think nakakadagdag din yung Pinoy Social Media and the Media itself, sa discrimination sa less attractive individuals.

Ang sumisikat kasi satin ngayon is yung mga attractive, basta maganda or gwapo, magkakaroon ng Music Album kahit wala namang boses.

Ang less attractive ang ginagawang pang katatawanan or comedy.

True. Sa local showbiz, itsura > talent. Pero meron din mga di talaga makalusot na maganda, Jessy Mendiola and Elisse Joson come to mind.

[Jun aka Pekto]

Most people I know tend to treat good looking people better. That's just natural I guess. But I don't know about life being made hard for you by others just because you are unattractive. I don't think Pinoys are like that.

C'mon. We all know Pinoys are very judgemental. Narrow pointy nose, light complexion, how someone dresses, where you go to college, even what province you're from..... Little things that get scrutinized and decide how people look at you. I was on the lucky side. But, I didn't like the double standard either. Gossip was just around every corner.

When I first arrived there, my legs were so white that girls kept rubbing their hands on my thighs.

"Shoo. Go away. Leave my legs alone."

This forum is full of the stereotyping if you look long enough and that's just the ones typed in English.

Back in New York, we had an old lady who just arrived from the PH. The very first thing she asked me (even before my name) is where did I graduate? I'm like, "What? I graduated college here in the US. But, I attended Mapua while I was there."

Another is when we attended a Fil-Am party where no one knew me. When I walked in, everybody suddenly became silent and started whispering. My wife said one of them remarked to her, "I didn't know your husband was Hispanic." Once my wife explained everything, then they welcomed me in.

That happened twice in two different Fil-Am parties.

[Wh1stl3r]

C'mon. We all know Pinoys are very judgemental. Narrow pointy nose, light complexion, how someone dresses, where you go to college, even what province you're from..... Little things that get scrutinized and decide how people look at you. I was on the lucky side. But, I didn't like the double standard either. Gossip was just around every corner.

When I first arrived there, my legs were so white that girls kept rubbing their hands on my thighs.

"Shoo. Go away. Leave my legs alone."

This forum is full of the stereotyping if you look long enough and that's just the ones typed in English.

Back in New York, we had an old lady who just arrived from the PH. The very first thing she asked me (even before my name) is where did I graduate? I'm like, "What? I graduated college here in the US. But, I attended Mapua while I was there."

Another is when we attended a Fil-Am party where no one knew me. When I walked in, everybody suddenly became silent and started whispering. My wife said one of them remarked to her, "I didn't know your husband was Hispanic." Once my wife explained everything, then they welcomed me in.

That happened twice in two different Fil-Am parties.

I guess I've been lucky to have never witnessed that kind of bullying, if you will. Maybe just a bit when I was a kid. But for majority of the time, my classmates/friends/coworkers have been the more politically correct ones.

Preference for a certain body type/height/complexion is there, but bullying the not-so-attractive? It just wasn't there. At least not out in the open.

Btw, I don't consider girls rubbing on my thighs to be a bad thing. It sounds good actually. 😁

[badkuk]

Btw, I don't consider girls rubbing on my thighs to be a bad thing. It sounds good actually. 😁

"Hey ladies, it gets whiter on the way up."

[Jun aka Pekto]

Btw, I don't consider girls rubbing on my thighs to be a bad thing. It sounds good actually. ��

I'm ticklish there.

It didn't take long for my legs to get dark. Being out in the sun all the time and swimming in salt water helped.

[Jun aka Pekto]

I guess I've been lucky to have never witnessed that kind of bullying, if you will. Maybe just a bit when I was a kid. But for majority of the time, my classmates/friends/coworkers have been the more politically correct ones.

Preference for a certain body type/height/complexion is there, but bullying the not-so-attractive? It just wasn't there. At least not out in the open.

It's not bullying. Just preconceived notions that should never have been. You don't see see them expressing it overtly. But, they sure do in their thoughts and behind your back.

I'm sure you've seen some who thought if you didn't graduate from this or that university in the PH, it means you're worthless. There are others who make fun of a dark complexion.

Anyway, back to the one complaining in the original post........

Before accusing anyone of being unfair, I would ask that guy to list down everything he did every month that deserved recognition, a pay raise, a higher pay grade, or just plain kudos and a pat on the back. If he can show that with a good history, then, he may have a good reason for complaining.

[MR_BIG18]

C'mon. We all know Pinoys are very judgemental. Narrow pointy nose, light complexion, how someone dresses, where you go to college, even what province you're from..... Little things that get scrutinized and decide how people look at you. I was on the lucky side. But, I didn't like the double standard either. Gossip was just around every corner.

When I first arrived there, my legs were so white that girls kept rubbing their hands on my thighs.

"Shoo. Go away. Leave my legs alone."

This forum is full of the stereotyping if you look long enough and that's just the ones typed in English.

Back in New York, we had an old lady who just arrived from the PH. The very first thing she asked me (even before my name) is where did I graduate? I'm like, "What? I graduated college here in the US. But, I attended Mapua while I was there."

Another is when we attended a Fil-Am party where no one knew me. When I walked in, everybody suddenly became silent and started whispering. My wife said one of them remarked to her, "I didn't know your husband was Hispanic." Once my wife explained everything, then they welcomed me in.

That happened twice in two different Fil-Am parties.

i was eating at a filipino(street) turo turo in seoul, i told my daughter to fetch my wife, as they were coming towards us...the server asked, wow sir korean pala misis nyo?...i quipped, hindi po, bisaya yan...maputi lang, toink

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[arvs18]

My officemate opened up to me and told me he is being treated unfairly at work because he is not good looking. His physical traits are short, dark, fat, hairy and practically bald (in his 20s) He has good teeth though. He compared himself to his cute teammate who he things is the favorite because of his good looks. He basically said life is difficult for him because he is ugly Di ko alam kung maiiyak ako o matatawa

I told him that it had NOTHING to do with looks but more on personality/character. Good looks are a bonus for men but it's not crucial. When it comes to men, looks isn't much of an issue because it can be cancelled out with traits that are more "valued" with men. Scientifically or biologically (?) females are valued for their looks (ability to reproduce and nurture) and males for their strength (ability to provide and protect). So I think looks are more of an issue for women not men.

But my officemate insists that he is being reprimanded at work because of his looks So he thinks good looking people can get away with a lot of things I can't convince him anymore that it's personality that is causing people to treat him badly or stay away from him. My friend thinks my officemate is so insecure which caused him to develop a bad personality. Seems like a catch 22 to me

It makes me wonder, does looks really cause a person to be discriminated or bullied? Have you encountered persons like that in your lifetime?

I think yung sentiments nya nag root pa way back sa childhood nya.

Oftentimes kasi pag mga bata naglalaro, meron talagang isang kinukutya na, ang pangit pangit mo etc. etc. mga nakaka degrade na remarks, though di naman alam nung nangungutya na nakaka-scar yung sinasabi nya.

Pero yung sinasabihan ng masama, madadala nya yun hanggang pagtanda.

I have a barkada (so-called friend), na ang hilig manlait. Kada lakad nalang ata namin, hindi matatapos yung araw na wala syang nilalait.

Kaya siguro medyo may point yung officemate mo na yung looks nya is may bearing sa mga unfair treatment sa kanya. Lalo na if yung mga tao sa paligid nya, is katulad nung so called friend ko.

Ayoko man-lait, pero hindi naman gwapo yung barkada ko, lalo nang hindi sya perpekto, pero hilig pumuna ng ibang tao, parang social-climber na ugali ba.

Madami naman pwedeng workaround or remedy sa mga less-attractive na tao. Sa pananamit, sa ayos ng buhok, sa galaw.

Pero dahil nga na de-grade na self confidence nila, mahihirapan sila mag adjust at mag exude ng confidence sa galaw nila.

Siguro yung mgagawa mo lang for now Ms. Cathy is, parang makinig nalang sa sentiments nya.

[_Cathy_]

I think yung sentiments nya nag root pa way back sa childhood nya.

Oftentimes kasi pag mga bata naglalaro, meron talagang isang kinukutya na, ang pangit pangit mo etc. etc. mga nakaka degrade na remarks, though di naman alam nung nangungutya na nakaka-scar yung sinasabi nya.

Pero yung sinasabihan ng masama, madadala nya yun hanggang pagtanda..

Bullied nga daw siya sa school Pinilit talaga siya maipasok sa magandang school (hs to college) pero hindi naman daw siya makasabay sa mga kaklase niya (kids can be cruel) Pero may officemate din naman ako from a modest background pero daming friends from all walks of life, nakakatawa kasi siya kaya masarap kasama. So I think his getting bullied had a lot to do with his personality also Kuripot kasi kaya KJ ang dating. His penny saving practices are cringe worthy talaga. Kanina lang kumain kami burger, hindi siya nag order fries, kumuha lang samin, e P150 kaya isang fries! Sabi friend ko, kuha ka ng kuha, magbayad ka ng P50 HAHAHA!

Madami naman pwedeng workaround or remedy sa mga less-attractive na tao. Sa pananamit, sa ayos ng buhok, sa galaw.

Pero dahil nga na de-grade na self confidence nila, mahihirapan sila mag adjust at mag exude ng confidence sa galaw nila..

Yun nga problema Hindi rin kasi siya nag aayos. Yung long sleeves nga niya napunit sa tiyan sa sobrang sikip Di ko napigilan na hindi tumawa nung pinakita sakin. Sabi friend ko bumili tuloy ng barong dahil pinuna ko. Siguro makakatulong kung mag shave siya araw araw para malinis tignan. Saka pumorma sa damit.

Siguro yung mgagawa mo lang for now Ms. Cathy is, parang makinig nalang sa sentiments nya.

Ako nga lang daw mabait sa kanya sa buong office. Inis din ako most of the time pero I try my best to understand and be kind to him kasi nga naawa ako. May days di ko kinakausap pag napupuno ako. Tinanong nga ko ng VP ko pano naming naging friend kasi nga introvert ako at piling pili lang mga tao na kinakausap ko. Friends ko mabait lang sa kanya dahil sakin daw. hehehe. Ayaw nga nila talaga makasama kasi nga kuripot at magulang at annoying daw.

[JC-Tsikot]

sad to say, ganun talaga ang society. Mas pinapaburan ang good looking na defined by media. Aminado ako mas magaan loob ko sa mga good looking kesa sa hindi. Mali pero ito ang reality na sana mabago.

pero ndi naman sha dapat maging miserable for not having a good looks. marami pa naman ibang traits na pwede shang umangat. Mag work out sha or maging magaling sha sa isang bagay like music.

[_Cathy_]

sad to say, ganun talaga ang society. Mas pinapaburan ang good looking na defined by media. Aminado ako mas magaan loob ko sa mga good looking kesa sa hindi. Mali pero ito ang reality na sana mabago.

pero ndi naman sha dapat maging miserable for not having a good looks. marami pa naman ibang traits na pwede shang umangat. Mag work out sha or maging magaling sha sa isang bagay like music.

Panong papayat e puro junk kinakain

True. Sa local showbiz, itsura > talent. Pero meron din mga di talaga makalusot na maganda, Jessy Mendiola and Elisse Joson come to mind.

You don't find Jessy Mendiola good looking??? Or is she salamat doc also? I only found out about her because people in social media are commenting na she has nothing in between her ears daw.

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[Wh1stl3r]

Panong papayat e puro junk kinakain

You don't find Jessy Mendiola good looking??? Or is she salamat doc also? I only found out about her because people in social media are commenting na she has nothing in between her ears daw.

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She's pretty. Saw her in person twice. My point is she wouldn't be in showbiz if she wasn't. But her lack of talent is appalling. I remember she tried to host UAAP cheer dance once with Boom Gonzales. It was terrible. Hats off to poor Boom. That was a painful exercise in patience and good manners.

By "di makalusot" I meant they can't have their own show because of the lack of talent. I've noticed that with some beautiful people, they think being like that is enough. And they end up not knowing how to do anything well.

[uls]

So he thinks good looking people can get away with a lot of things

it's true

i had a guy friend in college who i think (looking back) is a psychopath

he had a kind of superficial charm that disarms people

he had this ability to talk his way out of trouble (he gets himself into trouble a lot)

and madami siya naloko na babae

pag alam niya may gusto sa kanya ang girl, he would pretend to be interested in the girl, lead her on, then dump her (of course bubuntisin niya muna bago niya idump)

wala siya konsensya but because he's charming people like him

AND

my ex-friend...

she drives like crazy (it's a mystery why she hasn't yet been caught by somebody else's dashcam)

she also has a kind of superficial charm that allows her to talk her way out of trouble

she violates traffic rules a lot so she gets flagged down a lot but most of the time traffic enforcers just let her go after a few words (to her there's no such thing as number coding)

so yeah, attractive people do get away with things ordinary looking people don't

since they know they can charm their way out of trouble, they're not afraid to get into trouble

[ninjababez]

feeling ko mas mahirap ang buhay ng "normal" appearance na tao (di pangit di rin maganda)
imagine, bobo na pangit pa, tapos makikita mo ang ganda ng gf/bf. tapos OK pa estado sa buhay, one of the better off sa friends mo.
ikaw ngayon mabubwiset, kung pano nangyari; ano mali sa ginawa mo, bakit sya OK, ikaw hindi? di ka naman masamang tao, pero nilalait mo naman.
isipin mo, yun mga pangit at slow na yan, (madalas) mas may drive yan to excel. pansin ko lang, mas malaki %age ng boss na pangit

[fireice2]

Well he can do something about his physique...

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[remzam]

Cath di ba eto yung officemate mo na you feel ***ually harassed kasi hawak ng hawak sayo?

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