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  1. Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    56,673
    #1
    My officemate opened up to me and told me he is being treated unfairly at work because he is not good looking. His physical traits are short, dark, fat, hairy and practically bald (in his 20s) He has good teeth though. He compared himself to his cute teammate who he things is the favorite because of his good looks. He basically said life is difficult for him because he is ugly Di ko alam kung maiiyak ako o matatawa

    I told him that it had NOTHING to do with looks but more on personality/character. Good looks are a bonus for men but it's not crucial. When it comes to men, looks isn't much of an issue because it can be cancelled out with traits that are more "valued" with men. Scientifically or biologically (?) females are valued for their looks (ability to reproduce and nurture) and males for their strength (ability to provide and protect). So I think looks are more of an issue for women not men.

    But my officemate insists that he is being reprimanded at work because of his looks So he thinks good looking people can get away with a lot of things I can't convince him anymore that it's personality that is causing people to treat him badly or stay away from him. My friend thinks my officemate is so insecure which caused him to develop a bad personality. Seems like a catch 22 to me

    It makes me wonder, does looks really cause a person to be discriminated or bullied? Have you encountered persons like that in your lifetime?
    Last edited by _Cathy_; June 2nd, 2017 at 04:41 PM. Reason: typo

  2. Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    45,927
    #2
    what your officemate experienced all his life is probably like what black men experience in the states

    --

    attractive people have more advantages

    like attractive people are more persuasive

    attractive people seem more likeable

    attractive people can get away with a lot of things ordinary people can't

  3. Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    7,119
    #3
    Most people I know tend to treat good looking people better. That's just natural I guess. But I don't know about life being made hard for you by others just because you are unattractive. I don't think Pinoys are like that.

  4. Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    655
    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by _Cathy_ View Post
    My officemate opened up to me and told me he is being treated unfairly at work because he is not good looking. His physical traits are short, dark, fat, hairy and practically bald (in his 20s) He has good teeth though. He compared himself to his cute teammate who he things is the favorite because of his good looks. He basically said life is difficult for him because he is ugly Di ko alam kung maiiyak ako o matatawa

    I told him that it had NOTHING to do with looks but more on personality/character. Good looks are a bonus for men but it's not crucial. When it comes to men, looks isn't much of an issue because it can be cancelled out with traits that are more "valued" with men. Scientifically or biologically (?) females are valued for their looks (ability to reproduce and nurture) and males for their strength (ability to provide and protect). So I think looks are more of an issue for women not men.

    But my officemate insists that he is being reprimanded at work because of his looks So he thinks good looking people can get away with a lot of things I can't convince him anymore that it's personality that is causing people to treat him badly or stay away from him. My friend thinks my officemate is so insecure which caused him to develop a bad personality. Seems like a catch 22 to me

    It makes me wonder, does looks really cause a person to be discriminated or bullied? Have you encountered persons like that in your lifetime?
    I think yung sentiments nya nag root pa way back sa childhood nya.

    Oftentimes kasi pag mga bata naglalaro, meron talagang isang kinukutya na, ang pangit pangit mo etc. etc. mga nakaka degrade na remarks, though di naman alam nung nangungutya na nakaka-scar yung sinasabi nya.

    Pero yung sinasabihan ng masama, madadala nya yun hanggang pagtanda.

    I have a barkada (so-called friend), na ang hilig manlait. Kada lakad nalang ata namin, hindi matatapos yung araw na wala syang nilalait.

    Kaya siguro medyo may point yung officemate mo na yung looks nya is may bearing sa mga unfair treatment sa kanya. Lalo na if yung mga tao sa paligid nya, is katulad nung so called friend ko.

    Ayoko man-lait, pero hindi naman gwapo yung barkada ko, lalo nang hindi sya perpekto, pero hilig pumuna ng ibang tao, parang social-climber na ugali ba.

    Madami naman pwedeng workaround or remedy sa mga less-attractive na tao. Sa pananamit, sa ayos ng buhok, sa galaw.

    Pero dahil nga na de-grade na self confidence nila, mahihirapan sila mag adjust at mag exude ng confidence sa galaw nila.

    Siguro yung mgagawa mo lang for now Ms. Cathy is, parang makinig nalang sa sentiments nya.

  5. Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    655
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Wh1stl3r View Post
    Most people I know tend to treat good looking people better. That's just natural I guess. But I don't know about life being made hard for you by others just because you are unattractive. I don't think Pinoys are like that.
    I think nakakadagdag din yung Pinoy Social Media and the Media itself, sa discrimination sa less attractive individuals.

    Ang sumisikat kasi satin ngayon is yung mga attractive, basta maganda or gwapo, magkakaroon ng Music Album kahit wala namang boses.

    Ang less attractive ang ginagawang pang katatawanan or comedy.

  6. Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    473
    #6
    Well he can do something about his physique...

    Sent from my MI 5 using Tapatalk

  7. Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    56,673
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by arvs18 View Post
    I think yung sentiments nya nag root pa way back sa childhood nya.

    Oftentimes kasi pag mga bata naglalaro, meron talagang isang kinukutya na, ang pangit pangit mo etc. etc. mga nakaka degrade na remarks, though di naman alam nung nangungutya na nakaka-scar yung sinasabi nya.

    Pero yung sinasabihan ng masama, madadala nya yun hanggang pagtanda..
    Bullied nga daw siya sa school Pinilit talaga siya maipasok sa magandang school (hs to college) pero hindi naman daw siya makasabay sa mga kaklase niya (kids can be cruel) Pero may officemate din naman ako from a modest background pero daming friends from all walks of life, nakakatawa kasi siya kaya masarap kasama. So I think his getting bullied had a lot to do with his personality also Kuripot kasi kaya KJ ang dating. His penny saving practices are cringe worthy talaga. Kanina lang kumain kami burger, hindi siya nag order fries, kumuha lang samin, e P150 kaya isang fries! Sabi friend ko, kuha ka ng kuha, magbayad ka ng P50 HAHAHA!

    Quote Originally Posted by arvs18 View Post
    Madami naman pwedeng workaround or remedy sa mga less-attractive na tao. Sa pananamit, sa ayos ng buhok, sa galaw.

    Pero dahil nga na de-grade na self confidence nila, mahihirapan sila mag adjust at mag exude ng confidence sa galaw nila..
    Yun nga problema Hindi rin kasi siya nag aayos. Yung long sleeves nga niya napunit sa tiyan sa sobrang sikip Di ko napigilan na hindi tumawa nung pinakita sakin. Sabi friend ko bumili tuloy ng barong dahil pinuna ko. Siguro makakatulong kung mag shave siya araw araw para malinis tignan. Saka pumorma sa damit.

    Quote Originally Posted by arvs18 View Post
    Siguro yung mgagawa mo lang for now Ms. Cathy is, parang makinig nalang sa sentiments nya.
    Ako nga lang daw mabait sa kanya sa buong office. Inis din ako most of the time pero I try my best to understand and be kind to him kasi nga naawa ako. May days di ko kinakausap pag napupuno ako. Tinanong nga ko ng VP ko pano naming naging friend kasi nga introvert ako at piling pili lang mga tao na kinakausap ko. Friends ko mabait lang sa kanya dahil sakin daw. hehehe. Ayaw nga nila talaga makasama kasi nga kuripot at magulang at annoying daw.

  8. Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    7,119
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by arvs18 View Post
    I think nakakadagdag din yung Pinoy Social Media and the Media itself, sa discrimination sa less attractive individuals.

    Ang sumisikat kasi satin ngayon is yung mga attractive, basta maganda or gwapo, magkakaroon ng Music Album kahit wala namang boses.

    Ang less attractive ang ginagawang pang katatawanan or comedy.
    True. Sa local showbiz, itsura > talent. Pero meron din mga di talaga makalusot na maganda, Jessy Mendiola and Elisse Joson come to mind.

  9. Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    471
    #9
    sad to say, ganun talaga ang society. Mas pinapaburan ang good looking na defined by media. Aminado ako mas magaan loob ko sa mga good looking kesa sa hindi. Mali pero ito ang reality na sana mabago.

    pero ndi naman sha dapat maging miserable for not having a good looks. marami pa naman ibang traits na pwede shang umangat. Mag work out sha or maging magaling sha sa isang bagay like music.
    Beep Beep! School Bus! Beep Beep! School Bus!

  10. Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    56,673
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by JC-Tsikot View Post
    sad to say, ganun talaga ang society. Mas pinapaburan ang good looking na defined by media. Aminado ako mas magaan loob ko sa mga good looking kesa sa hindi. Mali pero ito ang reality na sana mabago.

    pero ndi naman sha dapat maging miserable for not having a good looks. marami pa naman ibang traits na pwede shang umangat. Mag work out sha or maging magaling sha sa isang bagay like music.
    Panong papayat e puro junk kinakain
    Quote Originally Posted by Wh1stl3r View Post
    True. Sa local showbiz, itsura > talent. Pero meron din mga di talaga makalusot na maganda, Jessy Mendiola and Elisse Joson come to mind.
    You don't find Jessy Mendiola good looking??? Or is she salamat doc also? I only found out about her because people in social media are commenting na she has nothing in between her ears daw.

    Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk

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Is Life Harder for Physically Unattractive People?