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  1. Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    29
    #731
    DE-LATA

    Anak: 'tay, pahingi ng P20. bibili ako ng de-lata!
    Tatay: anak, mga taga-probinsya lang ang tumatawag ng de-lata! Englishin mo!
    Anak: Pa'no?
    Tatay: 'KANG GUD" !

  2. Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,012
    #732
    A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

    "Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money."

    "What are the three tests?" asks the man

    "Gotta pay first."

    So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar.

    "OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila -- the WHOLE thing at once -- and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her."

    "Well, I know I've paid my $10 bucks," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. No wonder you've collected so much money -- that's impossible!"

    The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve.

    "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs.

    He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside -- barking, yelping and growling, then silence.

    Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body.

    "NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

  3. Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,012
    #733
    gwapo ngtxt: labs, paload nman P100.

    bakla: ok!
    (ngmmadling mghanap ng loading area)

    bakla: narceive mo na labs?





    gwapo: HU U?

  4. Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    29
    #734

  5. Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,012
    #735
    Payabangan ng mga lola


    Lola 1: Sakit ng mga mata ko. Kalalaro ko lang ng DOTA.

    Lola 2: Ako nga ang sakit pa ng katawan ko eh..ang hirap ng step namin. Cramping.

    Lola 3: O sya sya, dyan muna kayo, gagamutin ko lang muna hita ko.

    Lola 2: Napapanu ka?

    Lola 3: HAZING kanina..nagpaPADEL ako.

  6. Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,012
    #736
    A nerd ask his hot and ***y classmate to have *** with him..

    Nerd: *** tayo! Babayaran kita 1000 pesos, bibilisan ko, tatapon ko yung 1000 sa sahig. Tuwad ka habang pinupulot mo, pagtayo mo tapos na ako i-*** ka.

    ***y: Tawagan ko muna BF ko kung payag siya.

    Tinawagan na..

    BF: Sige payag ako. Bilisan mo lang pagtuwad para walang mangyari.

    After 10 minutes.. BF calls..

    BF: Nakuha mo na pera?

    ***y: Aahhhh.. hindi pa eh..ah! ah ah ah ah ah!

    BF: Eh bakit?

    ***y: Tig pipiso eh...

    he he he....

    Akala nyo maiisahan niyo ang mga nerd ha!

  7. Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    29
    #737
    Sa impyerno...

    Satanas: papipiliin kita ng gusto mong parusa ko sa iyo!
    Kwarto ng kaparusahan!

    Binuksan ang 1st room: isang lalaki ang nakakadena habang unti-unting lumulubog sa dagat ng apoy.

    Pekto: ayoko diyan!

    Binuksan ang 2nd room: isang lalaki nakakadena, nilalatigo.

    Pekto: ayoko dyan!

    Binuksan ang 3rd room: isang matandang lalake nakakadena habang bini-BJ ng isang magandang babae.

    Pekto: dyan! dyan ako dapat!

    Satanas: (kinalabit ang babae) may kapalit ka na!

  8. Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    21,656
    #738

  9. Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    835
    #739

  10. Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,313
    #740
    :hysterical:


Joke Time!