Joke Time!

**piscesboy** · May 4th, 2012 08:14 PM

**jrn29** · May 4th, 2012 09:41 PM

natatawa ako ke jimmy hahahah :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::h ysterical::hysterical:

**piscesboy** · May 8th, 2012 01:04 PM

KUNG FU PANDA

**renzo_d10** · May 8th, 2012 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by jrn29

natatawa ako ke jimmy hahahah :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::h ysterical::hysterical:

hahahahahahahahahahhahaha.

**foresterx** · May 8th, 2012 07:01 PM

like if you see jesus christ?

**jrn29** · May 8th, 2012 07:15 PM

Originally Posted by piscesboy

KUNG FU PANDA

pareko'y may kakambal ata yan? xD .. :hysterical:

**ecneret** · May 8th, 2012 08:17 PM

Penis Request

Dear Management,

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1- I do physical labor
2- I work at great depths
3- I plunge head first into everything I do
4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off
5- I work in a damp environment
6- I don’t get paid overtime
7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8- I work in high temperatures
9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1- You cannot work 8 hours straight
2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
5- You do not take initiative — you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7- You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear
8- You will retire well before you are 65
9- You are unable to work double shifts
10- You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task
11- And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags

Sincerely,

The Management

**Patti** · May 9th, 2012 08:57 AM

SMART FILIPINO BOY

A Filipino boy was very sad in class.

The teacher asked, “KULITS what is your problem?”

KULITS answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is!
I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

Teacher had enough. She took KULITS to the principal’s office.
While KULITS waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.

KULITS was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: What is 3 x 3?

KULITS: 9, maam!

Principal: What is 6 x 6?

KULITS: 36, maam!

And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at teacher and tells her,
“I think KULITS can go to the third-grade. ”

Teacher says to the principal, “I have some of my
own questions. Can I ask him ?”

The principal and KULITS both agreed.

Teacher asks: What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?

KULITS: Legs, maam!

Teacher : What is in your pants that you have but I
do not have?

KULITS: Pockets!

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

KULITS: Coconut!

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft And sticky?

(The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, KULITS. was taking charge...)

KULITS: Bubblegum, maam!

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

(The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer…)

KULITS: Shake hands!

Teacher: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of
questions, okay?
KULITS: Yep!

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

KULITS: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me
when you’re bored. The
best man always has me first.

KULITS: Wedding Ring, maam!

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

KULITS: Nose!

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
come with a quiver. What is it?

KULITS: Arrow!

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’
that means lot of heat and excitement?

KULITS: Firetruck!

Teacher: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’
& if u don’t get it, u have to use ur hand.

KULITS: Fork!

Teacher: What is it that all men have one. It’s
longer on some men, than on others,
the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his
wife after they’re married?

KULITS: SURNAME!

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible
for making love ?

KULITS: HEART, maam!

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to
the teacher :

Principal: Huh! send this Boy to Harvard University!!! Even I got
the last ten questions wrong myself!

**Ry_Tower** · May 9th, 2012 09:56 AM

Ang Alamat kung bakit nagsisinungaling ang mga lalaki ;p

Karpintero itong si Jojo at isang araw eh gumagawa siya ng isang bahay sa tabi ng ilog.Sa lakas ng pagma-martilyo niya eh nalaglag ang martilyo niya sa ilog.

Umiyak siya at lumitaw yung guardian angel niya, "tutulungan kita, Jojo"...sabay lundag sa ilog.

Lumabas ito na me hawak na gold hammer, "ito ba ang martilyo mo?"..."hindi po"...

Lundag uli ang anghel at lumitaw na me silver hammer, "it ba?"..."hindi po"...

Lundag uli sa ilog ang anghel at lumitaw na me ordinary hammer, "ito ba?"..."

Opo" ...natuwa ang anghel. "Dahil honest ka, bukod sa martilyo mo, sa 'yo na rin ang gold and silver hammer"...

Makaraan ang ilang araw, naglalakad si Jojo sa ilog at kasama ang misis niya. Eh sa katangahan, nalaglag si misis sa ilog...iyak si Jojo.

Litaw si guardian angel, "tutulungan kita"...sabay lundag sa ilog at ng lumitaw eh kasama si Paris Hilton, "ito ba ang misis mo?"...sagot si Jojo, "opo"...nagalit si anghel, "sinungaling ka. Akala ko pa naman mabait ka"...

Nag- reason-out si Jojo, "sorry po, angel...kasi kapag sinabi kong 'Hindi', eh lulundag ka uli sa tubig at pag-litaw mo eh kasama mo si Jessica Simpson.

At pag sinabi ko uli na hindi siya ang asawa ko, eh lulundag ka uli at ang tunay na misis ko na ang kasama mo. At dahil sa kabaitan ko, eh ibibigay mo din sa akin sina Paris at Jessica.

Mahirap lang po ako at hindi ko kaya ang me tatlong asawa, kaya 'Yes' na lang ang sinagot ko nung una.

Moral of the story: kaya lang naman nagsi-sinungaling ang mga lalaki Eh for a good and noble reason.