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  1. Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    5,494
    #3981
    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post
    Duterte went to London and met with the Queen.

    "Your Queenship,“ he said. “I am making things difficult running my country. May I ask how you do an effective Government? Are there any tips?”

    “Well" replied Her Majesty "you must surround yourself with intelligent people."

    Duterte frowned. "But how you know if they are intelligent?"

    "Oh, that's easy” the Queen said and pushed a button. “Please send for Boris Johnson."

    The British Prime Minister walked in. “You called, Your Majesty?"

    "Answer me this, if you would, Prime Minister," the Queen said. “Your mother and father have a child, but it is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

    Without pause Johnson answered “That would be me."

    "Yes. Very good thank you.” said the Queen.

    Duterte went back to the Philippines and called for Bong Go, his close assistant.

    “Bong" asked Duterte "your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it ?”

    "I'm not for sure sir" said Bong. “Let me get back on you to the answer.”

    Bong ran off and asked all the presidential advisers but they didn't know. He asked Panelo who didn't know. He even asked Mocha Uson but she only stared.

    Bong went to the senate and asked all his colleagues but no one knew. That only left Franklin Drilon who he was afraid to ask but he didn't have a choice.

    “Senator Drilon I know we haven't seen eye for eye, but I would really be thankful if you could help me in this riddle.”

    “Sure," the Senator said. “I’m not one to hold a grudge. What is it?”

    “Thanks” said Bong. "The riddle is this: your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or sister. Who is it?”

    Senator Drilon said “That's easy. It's me."

    Bong went back to the Palace. "Sir I have the answer! It's Senator Drilon.”

    President Duterte glared and yelled: "WRONG you idiot! It’s Boris Johnson!"

    Sent from my Mi 9T Pro using Tapatalk
    very funny!Joke Time!Joke Time!

    Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

  2. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,586
    #3982
    Holiday reminder:

    Hi all. Just a warning to all be careful about drunk driving as we are getting near to Christmas and the police are out checking on people.

    Last night I was out for a few drinks and one thing led to another and I had a few too many, not a good idea.

    Knowing I was over the limit I decided to leave the car at the bar and took a bus home.

    I passed the police check point, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breath tests.

    Because I was in a bus they just waved it past.

    I arrived home safely and no accidents, which was a real surprise because I have never driven a bus before and not even sure where I got it from.

  3. Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    232
    #3983
    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post
    Holiday reminder:

    Hi all. Just a warning to all be careful about drunk driving as we are getting near to Christmas and the police are out checking on people.

    Last night I was out for a few drinks and one thing led to another and I had a few too many, not a good idea.

    Knowing I was over the limit I decided to leave the car at the bar and took a bus home.

    I passed the police check point, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breath tests.

    Because I was in a bus they just waved it past.

    I arrived home safely and no accidents, which was a real surprise because I have never driven a bus before and not even sure where I got it from.

  4. Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,179
    #3984
    Jerry was in a Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"

    The nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."

    Jerry pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"

    CTTO.

  5. Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    25,421
    #3985
    Quote Originally Posted by sparc179 View Post
    Jerry was in a Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"

    The nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."

    Jerry pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"

    CTTO.
    hahahah. haven't seen this one yet. 10 out of 10

  6. Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    5,915
    #3986
    Quote Originally Posted by sparc179 View Post
    Jerry was in a Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"

    The nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."

    Jerry pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"

    CTTO.
    🤣🤣

    Sent from my SM-T725 using Tapatalk

  7. Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    2,448
    #3987
    Where do you get all of these? A nice thing to read to brighten up your lonely vacation.

  8. Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    25,421
    #3988
    Quote Originally Posted by Archerfish View Post
    Where do you get all of these? A nice thing to read to brighten up your lonely vacation.
    parang from a mens magazine.

  9. Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    6,202
    #3989
    This isn't a joke pero nakakatawa eh. Joke Time!

    Cockroach tag a term of endearment: police - RTHK

    The police said on Monday that officers using the word "cockroach" to refer to anti-government protesters could be regarded as a term of endearment.

    Speaking on RTHK’s “Hong Kong Connection”, community relations officer Tam Yu-hei said while some may see the cockroach reference in a bad light, people should not “over-interpret” the term. He said people should look at it positively, as the insect is full of vitality.
    Sent from my ONEPLUS A6003 using Tapatalk

  10. Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    5,915
    #3990
    Sent from my ONEPLUS A6003 using Tapatalk[/QUOTE]Smart man.smart.jpg

    Sent from my SM-T725 using Tapatalk
    Last edited by falken; December 24th, 2019 at 08:22 AM.

Joke Time!