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  1. Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    568
    #3481
    LITTLE BRUCE

    Little Bruce and his friend Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

    Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

    Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well, Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

    Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit in it nicely."

    Still thinking this is just adorable,

    Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

    Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine."

    Mr. Smith is impressed. Bruce has put so much thought into this.

    "Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"

    Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

    Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little **** is adorable.

  2. Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    568
    #3482
    An Irishman and a Norwegian applied
    for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications,
    they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no
    interruptions by the Manager.

    When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

    The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've
    decided to give the Norwegian the job.

    Murphy,... "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This
    being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.

    Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question
    you both got wrong.

    Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?

    Manager "Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, 'I don't know.

    You put down, 'Neither do I.

  3. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    10,786
    #3483
    11998935_866648533456266_6902823167458306285_n.jpg

    ay g*ga!

  4. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,610
    #3484

  5. Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    10,786
    #3485
    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post
    kulang yan, walang steel file saka wire brush.

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post
    kulang yan, walang steel file saka wire brush.

  6. Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    568
    #3486
    Who am I?

    One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual
    route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars
    were in the driveway.

    His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load
    of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had
    one hell of a party last night." the mailman comments.

    Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night.
    This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday
    morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood
    over for 'Party Cheer' and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk
    around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I."

    The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that..?"

    Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with
    a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in
    the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."

    The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."

    Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four
    or five times."

  7. Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    10,597
    #3487
    Lol. The mailman always delivers!

  8. Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    2
    #3488
    That was great! :D

  9. Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    37,385
    #3489
    Quote Originally Posted by Monseratto View Post
    Wrong side of the line...not a joke...>

    perhaps if they painted two parallel yellow lines...

  10. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,346
    #3490

Joke Time!