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  1. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #3141

  2. Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    5,494
    #3142
    Presidency is destiny, God's will - Nancy Binay

    WTF!

  3. Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    1,346
    #3143
    Quote Originally Posted by monty_GTV View Post
    Presidency is destiny, God's will - Nancy Binay

    WTF!
    Hayaan mo na lang mangarap si JOY(Nancy)DESTINY:grin

  4. Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    280
    #3144
    A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with the wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

    Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail since she was expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

    To: My Loving Wife
    Subject: I've Arrived
    Date: November 18, 2004

    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

    PS. Sure is freaking hot down here.

  5. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #3145
    Kumakahol yung mga aso sa labas...


  6. Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    280
    #3146
    The hilarious saga of a man who named his dog '***'.

    Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "***."

    Now,

    *** has been very embarrassing to me.

    When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for ***. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had *** since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"

    When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have *** at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But *** has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around ***." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having *** at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

    When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for ***. He said, "Every room in the place is for ***." I said, "You don't understand. *** keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."

    One day I entered *** in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have *** in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have *** on T.V." He called me a show-off.

    When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had *** before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, *** left me. He said, "Me too."

    Last night *** ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for ***."

    Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "*** has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me forever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely," and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that *** isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."

  7. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #3147

  8. Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    454
    #3148
    Quote Originally Posted by monty_GTV View Post
    Presidency is destiny, God's will - Nancy Binay

    WTF!
    This is the favorite excuse of religious people. The most stupid excuse since the dawn of time. Bato bato sa langit.

  9. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #3149


    Sarah Ellen

  10. Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    21,574
    #3150

Joke Time!