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  1. Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    102
    #3011

  2. Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,012
    #3012
    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

    The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.

    For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"

    The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

    The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

  3. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #3013

  4. Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    102
    #3014
    for sale


  5. Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    454
    #3015
    Quote Originally Posted by Pawo1 View Post
    for sale

    Yung script parang sa AS SEEN ON TV ads ah. Yun lang walang "BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!, IF YOU CALL NOW YOU'LL GET THIS AMAZING" blah blah blah.

  6. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #3016
    The Sith Acadamy is in the next booth...


  7. Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    454
    #3017
    Dala ka food. lol

    funny-jokes-man-hotel-lobby.jpg

  8. Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    3,002
    #3018
    A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a *** shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except... The Magic Penis!'

    The husband said, 'The what'?

    The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.

    The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'

    The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis, door!'

    The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle.
    Then the man said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

    The husband bought it and took it home to his wife.

    After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic Penis, my vagina.'

    The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.

    On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A Police Officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

    Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.'



    The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right.. Magic Penis, my arse...!!!!!!!!!!'

    The rest, as they say, is history...


  9. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #3019
    Balls of Steel...


  10. Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    21,569
    #3020

Joke Time!