Joke Time!

[jansky]

BF: Babe, para kang chicken. Ang sarap mo kasing papakin.
GF: Ikaw Honey, para kang Krispy Kreme. Ang sweet mo kasi eh.
BF: Hehe, Para kang Starbucks. Binabalik-Balikan kapag inaantok ako.
GF: Para kang lollipop. Ang sarap isubo ️
BF: Alam mo babe, pansin ko para kang KFC minsan. Streetwise very affordable.
GF: Ikaw nga parang Turo2x Slightly dirty.
BF: Ikaw nga para kang prito. Oily masyado.
GF: Ikaw nga parang inihaw. Maitim -.-
BF: Ikaw nga tuyo eh. Parehas kayo ng amoy!
GF: Ikaw nga after mong magbasketball yung underwear mo parang paksiw. Napaka asim.
BF: Bagoong!
GF: ulul! Buro
BF: Panis ka!
GF: Bulok!
BF: Panget!
GF: LALO KANA!
BF: Break na tayo.
GF: Mabuti pa.

[jansky]

Juan: tay, may gusto akong babae. Ang ganda nya. Gusto kong makipag date
tatay : sino?

Juan: si nena, yung babae sa tapat natin

Tatay: naku anak, wag mong sabihin sa nanay mo ha, kapatid mo yun si nena

nagalit ang bata, lumipas ang ilang linggo

Juan: tay, inlab ako. Mas masarap sya

Tatay: sino?

Juan: dyan sa kabilang bahay, si ana

Tatay: naku anak, kawawa ka naman. Anak ko din yun si ana eh

nangyari ng ilang beses. Lumapit ang bata kay nanay na umiiyak

Juan: nay, galit ako kay tatay. Nagmahal ako ng limang beses pero di ko sila pwedeng i-date kase anak din sila ni tatay

Nanay: pwede mo silang i-date, wag kang maniwala sa kanya, di mo sya tatay.

[Retz]

[xninjax]

A C-130 was about to crash in Tacloban; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Aquino, the chosen one. The Philippines needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Mar Roxas, said, "I am the next president of the Philippines, so Filipinos don't want me to die." He took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, Dinky Soliman, said, "I'm the Secretary of DSWD, a lot of people depend on me." So she grabbed the parachute next to her and jumped.

The fourth passenger, Dick Gordon, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old Boy Scout, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The Boy Scout said, "That's okay, Mr. Gordon. There's a parachute left for you. President Aquino grabbed my SCHOOL BAG."

[Retz]

[Manilablock]

The fourth passenger, Dick Gordon, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old Boy Scout, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The Boy Scout said, "That's okay, Mr. Gordon. There's a parachute left for you. President Aquino grabbed my SCHOOL BAG."

Hmmmm, Binay for President.......

[Retz]

[Monseratto]

[Monseratto]

The fourth passenger, Dick Gordon, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old Boy Scout, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The Boy Scout said, "That's okay, Mr. Gordon. There's a parachute left for you. President Aquino grabbed my SCHOOL BAG."

Yeah, it would have been better if Binay got the school bag....

[Retz]