Need Legal advise or to those who have experienced this

**Djerms** · March 31st, 2004 08:12 AM

Our family sucks whenever my dad is around. He has this attitude of putting people down and making them lose their confidence in almost everything they do. Hindi naman siya nananakit physically but he says things like, ang t*#$nga T*nga mo, PuT*%$na mo, ang b0b* mo etc.etc. Sa akin ok lang yun coz tanggap ko na na ganun kaliit ang utak niya. Besides I have a great job and he does not!

My problem is his attitude towards my younger brothers. Last Sunday, sobrang pinagalitan niya ang brother ko about this very small mistake that he made. Nung una, pinagsabihan. My bro said ok and accepted his mistake. Tapos binalik balikan pa. tapos pinagmumura na, then sinabihan na upahan na lang daw ng brother ko ang kwarto nya. Anak ng topak! Napuno na ang brother ko (Kahit sino naman siguro na nananahimik mabubuysit), nagdilim ang paningin niya, at pinagmumura na ang dad ko!

Ever since hindi pinatulan ng brother ko ang dad ko. Nagkukulong nalang yun sa room. But last sunday was different, talagang pinagmumura niya and considering my brother's size, natakot ako at baka sapakin niya! My mom told us to let him release his anger coz ever since nga hindi siya pumatol sa tatay ko. Maybe this was the result of all those silent reactions.

Anyway, what I did was to talk to my brothers na pagpasensiyahan nalang kasi nga matanda na.

Ang kinaiinis ko ay pati sa akin pala ay galit ang dad ko. Kinakausap ko siya kagabi, parang utot ako na hindi pinansin. So I told myself, if he's gonna be like this around the house, mas mabuti pa na wala na siya at nang nakakahinga kami ng maluwag. Sabi ng mom ko, balak na nga niya ibenta ang house then we're (with my brothers) will buy another one nalang away from my dad. Agree ako sa decision na ito and upon consulting with my brothers agree din sila. Sabi nila sa akin na nawawalan na sila ng self esteem and confidence with my dad around. They wana make decisions on their own. So I guess this is the proper action. SInabi naman niya before na mas magiging masaya siya kung iwanan nalang niya kami and to live a life of his own eh, e di mas ok.

Sa totoo lang, we dont want him around.

To the lawyers and tsikot peeps. What actions should we do in order to proceed with our plan to sell the house considering na conjugal property ito? Kung hindi ba pumayag ang dad ko, pwede namin siya paalisin due to emotional depression ng mga brothers ko. Hindi kasi kami makahinga kung nandito siya. Please advise.

Thanks

**1D4LV** · March 31st, 2004 10:02 AM

im not a lawyer, but i think you cannot really sell the house without the consent of your pop. dapat mai-transfer muna sa inyo yung rights bago mangyari lahat yun. that can only mean, dapat palabasin nya na pamana or gift nila sa inyo yung house.

i really don't advise na paalisin nyo tatay nyo. maski gano sya kasama, tatay nyo pa rin yan and you will not be in this world without him. try to think about the things that he has given you like education, food, etc. probably, may ugali lang talaga sya.

i advise two things:

a) talk to your father's relative (e.g. brother, lola mo na nanay ng tatay mo, etc.) and let them talk to your pop. baka mabulaga at magbago or;

b) kayo ang umalis sa bahay, kung talagang di nyo matiis ugali nya.. (i'm serious). i think it is better dahil may good job naman kayo ng mga utol mo, compared to him na baka may idad na...

my two cents.

**artpogi** · March 31st, 2004 10:13 AM

I agree with Happy_Gilmore, especially in option "b".

Get out of the house, get your own place, you, your brothers and your mother.

I'm not a lawyer too, pero no win yung proposal mo. Hindi kayo sinasaktan physically and the burden of proof will be on your side.

The best solution talaga is to get your own place.

HTH

**Djerms** · March 31st, 2004 10:15 AM

Happy,
We tried to talk to him before pero to no avail. Hindi naman ako ang magbebenta ng house namin. My mom will. She also has rights over the house naman di ba? Since conjugal property ito.?

Kung ayaw niya ibenta ang house and if he insists to stay, we'll probably get a lawyer na to get him away from us.

Kung ako lang..oo matitiis ko. But I can see the negative effects sa mga brothers ko eh.

**Djerms** · March 31st, 2004 10:16 AM

Hindi ba pwede kasuhan kahit na hindi physical attack ang basis? Di ba pwede na un?

**yebo** · March 31st, 2004 10:32 AM

I also am not a lawyer but i know of someone who went through the same thing (friend of mine from work). as far as i know they had a legal separation before they were able to dispose off the properties. pwede lang yan pag legally separated ang parents mo, separation of conjugal property.

your mom can sue for legal separation, citing emotional and psychological torture as the basis. they then have a separation of conjugal properties. hopefully this will be an amicable process, if not this will be another case. they can sell the house and then your mom gets 50% of the proceeds, your dad gets the other 50%. kayong mga anak wala pa kayong makukuha since your parents are both still alive.

but since mahal ang process of legal separation maybe you will be better off just investing the money you will spend for lawyers and court fees as downpayment in another property.

**zero** · March 31st, 2004 11:29 AM

option "b" is good. your dad can't sell the property too without you mom's approval.
probably if option "a" won't work, option "b" will make him realize na wala palang may gusto sa pamamalakad niya as padre de familia. yun nga lang, magkakaroon ng depression si daddy mo which may lead to a more serious problem.

**Djerms** · March 31st, 2004 11:34 AM

Zero.

Sabi ng dad ko sa mukha ko last sunday: "mas magiging masaya pa ako kung umalis nalang ako dito at hindi ko na kayo papakialaman!"

I dont think he'll be depressed...

**OTEP** · March 31st, 2004 11:39 AM

Give it time at baka ma-patch up niyo pa din.

Baka naghahanap lang ng apo ang tatay mo kaya bugnutin.

I know how angry you are right now. Pero I think lilipas din iyan. Granting hindi na maibabalik ang dating pagtitinginan niyo, malamang both of you will not stay at this hostility level for long naman.

Try to live somewhere else for the meantime. Or kagaya ng ginagawa ng mga kakilala ko, maaga papasok tapos late na uuwi para wala nang confrontation.

**Djerms** · March 31st, 2004 11:58 AM

'tep,

Kung sa akin lang, ok lang na tiisin ko na. Ang kaso yung mga kapatid to ang apektado. hindi makapag-aral ng mabuti and like what you said, gabi na umuuwi kasi ayaw na maabutang gising ang tatay ko. Ako ang nagwoworry kung gabi umuuwi at nagkokomyut pa ang isa.

About living somewhere else, mom ko naman ang mahihirapan since yung funds na gagamitin sana namin ay from the proceeds of our house na balak namin ibenta.