Tech Support

[squala]

Customer: I’m having problems using my PC.
Tech: Is your computer running right now?
Customer: No, it’s standing still in front of me.

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Call at Trend Micro
Customer: My computer has a virus.
Tech: Do you have PCCillin in your computer?
Customer: No, I’ll go check my medicine cabinet.

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Customer: I want to scroll back to the top of the screen but my mouse is malfunctioning.
Tech: Try using the arrow keys.
Customer: It takes really really long to go back to the top.
Tech: How about the ‘Home’ key?
Customer: It’s with my parents. I’ll just wait for them to come back to the house.

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Calls at Microsoft
Customer: I have a licensed copy of Windows XP Home Edition and would like to ask something about the legality of its usage.
Tech: Ok, what’s your question?
Customer: Is it ok to install it in my office computer?

Customer: Hi, I would like to avail of Windows XP from my laptop. Can you recommend the best version for me?
Tech: We have Home Edition and Professional Edition.
Customer: Do you have anything else? I’m not yet an expert in computers and usually not in my house.

Customer: How much is a copy of Windows XP?
Tech: 100 dollars.
Customer: Does it come with a free doll of your penguin mascot?

Tech: Hi, how can I help you?
Customer: I cannot find the ‘script’ function.
Tech: Sorry, I do not get you.
Customer: This has to do with a Word document. I only see the ‘print’ function, but my document is actually written in script.

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Customer: I’m having trouble connecting my PS2 to my PC.
Tech: Playstation 2 you mean?
Customer: Yes.
Tech: I’m afraid that really cannot be done.
Customer: Are you sure? I checked the ports at the Control Panel and there is a ‘PS/2’ port indicated.

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Customer: I’m having trouble running many programs at the same time.
Tech: How much is your memory?
Customer: Sorry, I’m not quite good in remembering things.

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Customer: I’m having trouble using my speakers.
Tech: Aren’t they malfunctioning.
Customer: No, I just bought them yesterday and had them tested.
Tech: Can you go to the hardware section?
Customer: Ok, what will I buy there?

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Customer: My screen is fluctuating when I’m trying to watch a VCD.
Tech: Maybe your monitor needs to be replaced already.
Customer: No, it just worked fine in my friend’s PC yesterday.
Tech: Maybe you need to get a new video card.
Customer: Why? My membership at the video shop expires 6 months from now.

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Customer: I’m having problems installing my modem.
Tech: Do you have a driver?
Customer: No, I’m the one driving myself.

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