The Unwritten Code of Men

[mantoy]

1. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

2. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his fellow party goers.

3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without
recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call
BULLS%$T. Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable
exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent

5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is
off-limits forever.

6. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's
running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes
for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

7. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is
trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with
your good deed and end up having *** with the beast, your pal is forbidden
to speak of it.

8. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission
and he, in return, is required to grant it.

9. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't see
nothin'.

10. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

11. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

12. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless super
model...and it's free.

13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you
must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his
actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good
ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

15. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

16. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to
his beer.

17. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when
she's withholding *** pending your response.

18. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must
attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the
eye, and deliver a "F**K OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility.

19. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey ***, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what
a big mistake it was.

[empy]

corollary to #1 - under no circumstances must two men share a motorcycle seat

[nucci]

11. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

-- honga daw. a single guy must not own a cat. otherwise, he must be gay or a villain (ala The Godfather). hehe

[cutedoc]

15. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
= i was trying out on swimming team ng college namin befroe, i was at san beda na nun, thing is i dont wear speedo pa that time di pa ganun kalakas loob ko, inalok ako nung isang swimmer to wear his, sabay tanggal nun suot niya, doble naman daw suot niya, nah ayoko pa din...

[fakesaint]

19. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey ***, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what
a big mistake it was.

And don't forget to bring your old reliable camera sp. if she's a 10......flushes the guilt right into the can everytime you see it...drunk of course.....

[DoctorDoom]

2. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his fellow party goers.

Nah, I went to a bachelor's party 2 weeks ago, everyone had their cellphone cameras trained on the hot chick doing the moves.

But when it comes to the "audience participation" portion, everyone had to surrender their cellphone cameras until the party is over.

[stinkaboy]

:hihihi:

[mazdamazda]

20. Never ever, under any circumstance, touch the weener and/or balls of your buddy.

[bougartt]

21. It's okay to call cars "gwapo". But NEVER COMPLIMENT A GUY THAT WAY.

Pare Gwapo ng oto mo - PWEDE YAN

Bro Gwapo mo ngayon ah - YOUR GAY

:jump:

[nucci]

Nah, I went to a bachelor's party 2 weeks ago, everyone had their cellphone cameras trained on the hot chick doing the moves.

But when it comes to the "audience participation" portion, everyone had to surrender their cellphone cameras until the party is over.

DoctorDoom, what does "audience participation" mean?

sorry for the dumb Q. di pa kasi ako naka-attend ng bachelor's party.