1. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

2. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his fellow party goers.

3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without
recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call
BULLS%$T. Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable
exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent

5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is
off-limits forever.

6. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's
running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes
for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

7. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is
trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with
your good deed and end up having *** with the beast, your pal is forbidden
to speak of it.

8. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission
and he, in return, is required to grant it.

9. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't see
nothin'.

10. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

11. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

12. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless super
model...and it's free.

13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you
must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his
actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good
ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

15. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

16. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to
his beer.

17. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when
she's withholding *** pending your response.

18. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must
attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the
eye, and deliver a "F**K OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility.

19. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey ***, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what
a big mistake it was.